Michelle was in the habit of ending each conversation with a quick, "love you.". Her husband, Nick, never got a warm feeling from her words. "It doesn't mean anything" he complained to mutual friends. "We have been married for eight years and it feels like a habit. The words feel empty." Yes, relationships do take work. Everyone craves genuine excitement in their love life. It certainly is tempting to just sit on the sofa and watch TV at the end of an exhausting day. More meaningful than telling your partner that you love them at the end of very conversation would be to show them how you feel. Snap out of autopilot and show your partner how you really feel.
Start with the basics. Often when relationships get stuck in a rut we forget to look at each other. Try to see them with a new perspective, with fresh eyes.Choose a quality you like in your spouse and than share that compliment with your partner. Sometimes breathing new life in your relationship is as simple as really appreciating what you have. Share what you appreciate with your spouse. A real compliment can be treasured for years to come.
You can use little acts to demonstrate how you feel. Of course, you could hire a plane and write messages to your loved one in the sky. Use the small acts to communicate what you really feel. Little gestures show the other person that you care for them and the future of your relationship.
For example, I know one woman who seeks out her partner's favorite brand of gummy bears. She keeps them in a reachable place for her husband and each time he has his favorite treat, he thinks of her. Another husband I know gives his wife a hand massage while they decompress with their favorite TV shows. My husband loves to have his head scratched while we sit on the sofa. Think about how you might enhance your partner's life. What little surprise might thrill them?
You don't have to buy cruise ship tickets. The gesture doesn't have to cost a thing. Leave the butter out in the morning so it softens for their toast. Bring them a glass of water at night before they get a glass out. Think about their daily chores. Where might you help them out or make their life easier? You could make them coffee, clear their car of snow or put some towels on a heater for them. Even holding a door open for someone else is a thoughtful gesture. What is at the core of the issue is waking your relationship back up and keeping it alive with small acts of kindness. These acts tell your partner that you care and value your relationship. Your relationship is worth the extra effort. The core of this issue is taking small steps to relight the romance in your love life. The world keeps turning and we still have work to do, but take the time to keep your relationship alive and healthy.
Another small way you can add to your partner's life is by writing them a note. Texting and sending email is common these days. Taking pen to paper and writing a notes takes effort and time. Finding a note in your jacket pocket is a wonderful surprise. Don't focus on how long the note is, just get the note written. Write a quick line with a compliment or a shared joke.
Body language is important as well as remembering to touch your partner. Look at your partner in the face when they come home and give them a hug. Give them a kiss hello. Hold your partner's hand or put your arm around them while sitting together. Personal contact is important for every relationship. Make sure your partner understands through your body language that they are valued.
At the time time make sure that you see the small things your partner might be doing for you as well.Do they make your favorite meal? Make sure your favorite drink is in the fridge? Make sure to give them a sincere thank you. Being recognized often makes the effort worthwhile and keeps the flow of inspiration going.
If your marriage has gone months or even years in a stalled routine, then you need to start to change. We all know that change is hard. If you keep the gestures small, then they are doable a few times a week. It is small changes that will get your relationship moving in a different direction.
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