Friday, April 5, 2013

Does My Ex Still Think of Me?

"Pain will leave you, when you let go." -Jeremy Aldana

When talking to people who are going through the end of a relationship one of the most frequently asked questions is: Do you think my ex ever thinks of me? The reality is you will never really know.

But, there are certain things that you can assume and one of those assumptions is that you have to cross their minds occasionally. There are certain things that will trigger past memories and its human nature to reflect on the past. Now, does that make you feel better? Will it make a difference if they are thinking of you or not?

Depending on how the relationship ended will also factor into the mix. Your ex may have been preparing for this long before you were blindsided with it. So, they may be way ahead of the game and you are more of a memory in the distant past.

I know that isn't what you want to hear but it's the truth. And there are other possibilities. They may think of you and wonder if they made a mistake. Or, their thoughts might be; why didn't I leave sooner? Or, they may feel bad and hope you're doing find but they don't want to call and give you false hope.

They may even think of you and miss you but they know deep down that it simply wasn't going to work.

But, again, you will never really know. Even if you had the opportunity to ask them and they said yes, how do you know they're being honest? Maybe they just don't want to hurt your feelings.

When a significant relationship ends in your life you want to feel that you mattered. You want to believe they loved you and they can't help but think of you.

You can only hope for some validation that you didn't waste months or years of your life with someone by knowing that they are thinking of you.

With time this need to know will fade. Wondering and hoping that they are hurting like you are won't matter as much because it becomes insignificant in the big scheme of things. Healing and moving on will outweigh whether they are thinking of you or not.

The best thing to do when YOU think of them is; bless them and release them. Let go of the kinds of thoughts about what they are doing, who they are doing it with and whether you are on their mind or not.

The past is a hard thing to let go of when that is all you think about. Trying to figure out all of the why's and what if's may help in processing what happened but if you don't eventually let it go; it will ultimately prolong your pain.

Whether your ex is thinking of you or not is something you will never know for sure. Each time you start to go down that path, instead walk down a path toward healing. Look forward not backward and before you know it you won't be thinking of them either.


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Susan Russo has written one of the top divorce/breakup books on the market. Her direct approach is a wake up call for anyone who is stuck in the letting go process. How would you like to move beyond the pain and start to feel like a human again? Find out how to by starting with Susan's FREE mini report on how to heal your pain at http://www.whystay.com


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