It doesn't matter if you made a huge mistake or a seemingly innocent one, admitting that you were wrong is one of the humblest yet most significant things a person can do.
An apology is the simplest of acts: the speaking of words of genuine regret to another for having harmed, denigrated, or insulted them in some way. And yet it has almost magical power to repair fraying relationships. Most of us seem to be more judgmental of the intent with which a person acts than of their actions' outcomes. Even when someone acts maliciously toward us, if he later comes to regret it genuinely - almost to view his earlier self as a different person from his present regretful self. That kind of contrition rarely fails to move us.
Apologies of this kind bring resolution and closure. At most they cost us an admission that we were wrong, that we're imperfect, or that we need to improve in some way. But whatever it is, it is important, and it is vital to our growth as mature and compassionate people. .But it's never easy to admit your wrongness. Here are a few tips to make it easier:
Learn to admit first to yourself when you've been at fault
Let go of your need to be right by becoming more interested in becoming better. If you refuse to ever acknowledge that you're wrong, not seeing the need for improvement, then you will not have no real motivation to make any attempts to improve yourself--thus letting your ego would stand as the greatest barrier to your own happiness.
Admitting your fault puts you one step closer to dealing with it, and can often be the first step towards a successful turn-around. At the least, though, it shows that you're someone with integrity and courage, even in the face of disastrous consequences.
Accept your behavior but don't put yourself down.
Instead of calling yourself a whole bunch of negative names, realize that while you could have done better/differently/more considerately than you did, perhaps mitigating factors such as tiredness, hunger, a sense of urgency, a desire to please, etc. overtook your more balanced self. Concentrate on how to deal with the underlying reason rather than on belittling your whole self.
See things from someone else's perspective
If you've made a promise and failed to keep it, put yourself in the other party's shoes and see how things look from there. How would you feel? What would your response be if you were them? And what action would satisfy you? Be sympathetic. Realize that your mistakes might affect many more people than just you, and recognize the pain you've caused. A little bit of sympathy can well be the opening you need to set things right.
Take responsibility
Don't try to weasel out of it, and don't look around wildly for someone else to blame. Even if your failure came about because someone let you down, you're ultimately responsible for the projects under your authority.
Accept the consequences
It's hard, but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and take your lumps. Few actions come without any consequences at all; be prepared to embrace whatever befalls you as a result of the mistakes you've made. Realize that people may be annoyed or upset with you, but being honest about making the mistake will help defuse you're the aggrieved party's anger.
Have a plan
Taking responsibility means being prepared to clean up the mess, which means you need a plan. You should have a clear idea of what went wrong and how you can fix it -- and how you can avoid it in the future.
Make Things Right.
Fix it, clean it up, do what it takes to correct the mistake. Although you can't change the past, you can avoid making the same mistake in the future. Learn from your mistakes.
Ask for Forgiveness
Be sincere and honest and don't play games. Say "please forgive me." Saying you are sorry isn't enough. Don't expect your enemy to just get over it immediately. Forgive yourself, too. Be sincere: Don't pretend to feel sympathy or act phony so that the other person can see how deeply you care. Don't play the martyr. Show honest emotion -- the first step to rebuilding the trust lost.
Learn to move on
Looking back is for people mired in negative thinking about the past. You can't change the past but you can live more consciously in the present. Learn from the mistake but cease to dwell on it. Next time there's a mistake, this learning will allow your perception to see things very differently.
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Michael Griffiths is the CEO and Founder of Secrets of a Super Life, providing individuals with personal development strategies to increase their purpose, passion, happiness and life fulfilment. For your free life success pack please visit http://www.mysuperlifetoday.com
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