Nobody's perfect. Nobody is even close. But most of us spend our whole lives putting in all kinds of effort to avoid facing this harsh reality. You are not perfect. You have plenty of flaws and shortcomings that are keeping you from achieving your dreams. Unless you are rich, healthy, and have plenty of relationships that are satisfying you in every way possible, you've got plenty of work to do. This is a hard pill to swallow for most people, but swallow it you must. In truth, the biggest obstacle to your success is you. The good news is that when you slay those inner demons, the world will be yours.
The first step is to realize that your world is a reflection of who you are in totality. There is nobody to blame but you. This may sound harsh to those who have horrible childhoods and have suffered real violence at the hands of others, but it is what it is. Blaming other people for your current condition is simply not effective. You might get sympathy from other people, but you can't turn that sympathy into wealth or relationship bliss.
How do you get over a horrible past? There's only one way. You aren't going to like it, but here it is: Forgiveness. Keep in mind this is an absolutely and purely selfish act. You aren't changing anybody but yourself when you forgive those who wronged you. They won't even know. Often times, they're already dead. Being able to truly forgive your enemies will lift the burden from your shoulders and let you move forward without all that baggage. Remember what Nelson Mandela said about this: "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies."
Now you've got the past taken care of, what is holding you back? Try and finish this sentence: I could achieve anything I wanted to if only I could... What comes to mind? It may take some thinking, but when you focus on your own internal blockages, you'll start to overcome your shortcomings.
Once you figure out an area to improve, think of small steps you'd like to make in that direction. For example, if you'd like to improve your social skills, what small steps could you make today that would start doing that? How about making eye contact and smiling at three strangers? How about talking to somebody that looks interesting? The more you move in the right direction, the better you'll get.
Keep in mind that your entire life is a work in progress. It's constantly moving forward, and learning about yourself, your skills, and the world around you all at once. There's no joy, wealth, or love staying in your comfort zone. And the only person who really cares if you succeed or not is you.
The sooner you internalize these truths, the easier you'll be able to move forward, overcome past difficulties, and achieve the life you want. Nobody else can make it happen except for you.
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