Everybody would like to improve themselves. But most of us flounder along without any real clue of how to make any lasting changes. It seems that the more effort we put in, the more stuck we seem. This can be incredibly frustrating. It's enough to make you want to give up, turn on the TV and start shoveling endless handfuls of onion flavored potato chips in your mouth. Or something like that. The good news is you don't have to confine yourself to the couch. By avoiding the most common mistakes, you will easily be able to notice solid and consistent growth and improvement over time.
Most people start off by focusing on their weaknesses. This rarely works. In a fantastic book called "The Solutions Focus," Authors Jackson and McKergow showed how focusing on your strengths is a much better strategy. For example, if you are overweight and would like to lose weight, focusing on all those chips you ate won't help. But focusing on the walk you went on last night will give you a lot more motivation. When you focus as much energy as you can on your strengths, your weaknesses will often vanish on their own.
Another mistake we make is to not set concrete goals. Many people have vague goals like increased self confidence and better social skills. But unless you have a specific and objective way to measure your progress, you'll have no way of knowing if you are making any headway or not. Choose something specific, something achievable, and give yourself a specific amount of time. If this is your first time at goal setting, go easy on yourself. If your goal is more self confidence, for example, set a goal of introducing yourself to one stranger in the next two weeks. Once you've achieved that goal, set another one that's slightly bigger.
Many people have a clear idea of what to do, but they don't start until tomorrow. The problem is that tomorrow never comes. It's never tomorrow, it's always today. Instead of starting later, start now. Do something. Anything to get moving, and build more momentum.
Many people suffer from paralysis by analysis. This means they think too much. In truth, this is really a tactic to keep themselves from failing. If they make it too complicated, then they have an excuse not to act. Simplify. Make a goal to walk around the block. Get up and start walking. When you're done, choose a different and slightly more challenging goal for tomorrow. Don't worry about how fast you should walk or what you should wear or what should you say if you should see your neighbor or anything else. Just get up and start walking.
In addition to have super small, easy to achieve goals, you've got to have big goals that you're targeting over a much longer time period. For example, if you'd like to have supreme self confidence, then a one or two year goal might be to give a speech in front of at least five hundred people. If you consistently take small steps, you'll get there without any problems. Most people either choose a big goal without any way of getting there, or choose only small goals and meander all over the place. When you combine these two methods, you'll be truly unstoppable.
Improving yourself really isn't difficult or overly challenging. Choose a big goal. Break it up into small, manageable steps. Get started. Now.
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