I remember going through my bout of performance anxiety during my late teens and early twenties. Throughout this time I felt pretty sad-at least when it came to how I was performing in the bedroom. I really, really wanted to overcome performance anxiety but I didn't know how.
If you are feeling down in the dumps, it is very hard if not impossible to immediatley being feeling great.
I was not being fair to myself expecting myself to overcome it right away and begin feeling great right now.
Overcoming Performance Anxiety
If you are deeply entrenched in performance anxiety, feeling a tad bit less awful is all you can really expect from yourself. The great news is that in the long term, if we continually focus on feeling slightly less awful about sexual performance, you will notice that you gradually begin feeling happier.
Which leads to the question - how do you start feeling happier?
Well, it all begins with understanding why we feel the emotions we feel. Your habitual thought patterns create how you are feeling. In other words, your thinking creates your emotions.
Most people (myself included not too long ago) believe that life events, particular experiences and situations make folks feel the way they do. Said another way, a lot of people would believe they feel happy because of their job promotion. Or that getting fired will make them feel bad about themselves.
A job promotion does not cause people to feel happy, positive thinking about the promotion will make the person feel happier.
Feeling sad is not the result of a recent break up, negative thoughts regarding the recent break up breed feelings of sadness.
Thoughts create emotions so, we can (surprisingly to some) make ourselves feel better by changing how we think. If you want to overcome performance anxiety then understanding this is absolutely essential.
It's okay if this is not making sense to you right now, I'd recommend re-reading the past few paragraphs until it begins to sink in.
If you understand and believe that your thinking creates your emotions, you can effectively think in a manner that makes you feel slightly less awful about your poor performance in bed - which is all you can expect from yourself right now at this moment in time.
Slowly Change How You Think and Begin Overcoming Performance Anxiety
For example, after finishing this reading you may think:
"I was awful last night in bed. What is wrong with me?"
When you think a damaging thought like the one above, have the awareness to stop yourself and instantly re-frame your thinking. Don't focus on your negative thought, change your thoughts to something healthier like:
"Last night was not fun. Physically I understand that I am A-OK, I just need to work on my mental game."
This isn't the most positive thought in the world, however it is certainly a less damaging thought.
Once you begin thinking slightly less awful thoughts, you'll see that you will start feeling a bit less awful as well. It's important to stick with this process at all times. It may be difficult in the beginning, but with practice you'll find it becomes much easier.
If you stick with re-framing your thoughts in a slightly less awful manner for the course of a few weeks or months, you will notice that you feel much much better. Your anxiety will diminish with each slightly less awful thought.
When you feel happier, you will perform better in bed. Less anxiety means improved performance. Overcoming performance anxiety is not impossible, I know because I did it!
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Take the steps to overcome performance anxiety today at the http://overcometoday.hubpages.com/hub/How-You-Can-Overcome-Performance-Anxiety blog.
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