"How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg." -Abraham Lincoln
I can't tell you how often I hear people say things to me when describing themselves, their situation, their perfect partners and their lives that simply aren't true. In reality, they are lies.
Sorry, but, they make things up in their minds as if what they are saying is true and they spout them out with such passion and emotion that you may even start to believe them too.
They typically repeat these thoughts to themselves over and over again and speak them aloud to whoever will listen. It's like self-brainwashing. They can go on and on about how great their ex was, how good their relationship was, and how they'll never meet anyone that they'll love like them.
Or, they'll put themselves down and say things like; how they are a loser, a failure, will never meet anyone again, will never find a job, never lose weight, will never get what they want from life etc.
When the truth is that many of these people are very successful and not failures, they aren't losers- the only thing they've lost is a sense of who they really are, the other person wasn't that great and if they are honest with themselves they'd see it too.
And, the only way they won't meet someone again is if they're dead, and they will never get what they want from life because they keep telling themselves they won't.
Your thoughts may seem to be real to you, they may feel real and you may have even convinced yourself that they are real. But the truth is you can't deny the facts.
And the real facts are that when you repeat these false statements over and over to yourself regardless of whether they are true or not be prepared to live with the consequences of low self-esteem, needless suffering and prolonged anxiety.
The good news is that you have the power to control what you think and say. You can choose to phrase things with a negative, limiting spin of untruths and have a woe-is-me attitude. Or, you can choose the kinds of words that deal with the facts about yourself and your life coming from a place of honesty and truth.
For instance saying things like, I will never get what I want from life. Is that true? Just because you may not be where you want to be yet or have what you want who says you can't get what you want from life? You! Do you have a crystal ball that shows you all the doom and gloom and how you will never have what you want?
Instead use the power of focusing your thoughts on what you want, make a plan, look forward instead of backwards and know, and I mean really know deep down inside that good things are in your life? Look inside your crystal ball and see what you want instead of what you don't want!
Use your mind in a positive, powerful way and you will start to live more and suffer less. Learn how to flip the script when you start down Poor Me Lane and drive your thoughts to Life is Good Highway.
What you may not realize is that your thoughts create how you feel. Your thoughts are the number one reason you either heal or suffer, you love living or hate it, you move on or stay stuck, you feel good or bad or if you are happy or sad.
So the next time you hear yourself saying or thinking something, ask yourself is this really true? Is what I am saying or thinking based on facts or am I allowing my negative emotions to create a false sense of reality? You will be shocked at how often you are not telling yourself the truth and making up stories in your mind.
And the more you repeat these kinds of thoughts and words the better chance you will have in making them your reality by attracting into your life the very kinds of experiences you wish would never happen.
If the facts are that your thoughts can make you or break you and build your up or tear you down what kind of thoughts do you want to think?
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Susan Russo is an author and coach who has helped people from around the world move beyond heartache and pain after their breakup or divorce. Would you like to heal your broken heart sooner rather than later? Find out exactly how with Susan'sFREE copy of the 7 Steps to heal your broken heart at: http://www.whystay.com
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