Not many people realize it, but the way you speak, the language you use, your intonation and the attitude that comes with speaking have a huge impact on how fast you will achieve success.
When you speak with authority, you command respect. When you are too soft-spoken, too kind with praise and too pleasant, in the corporate world, you may be pushed over by those with bigger personalities. When you are too loud, however, the general tendency of people is to get turned off, and you appear like a braggart of sorts.
What we will focus on in this article, however, is how your choice of language affects your success. How you view words when they first pop into your mind tells a lot about your attitude in life. Words can limit you without your awareness. They can make you appear either strong or weak, active or passive, a leader or a follower, a survivor or a victim. But then again, there are some language habits that actually limit your potential to a successful person.
Here are some words which you must eliminate from your vocabulary in order to avoid offending people you speak with.
"SHOULD" - When you use this word, there is always an underlying standard what people must adhere to. When someone says "You should have been more attentive!" - it sort of makes a addressee feel that he is incompetent in terms of concentration, and that something is wrong with his attitude. Don't let anyone tell you what you SHOULD and SHOULD not do - unless you are a child. Remember that you are an adult, and you can decide if a choice is wrong or right. Remember, no one is perfect - so to tell someone what should happen or what should have been done is like indirectly telling them that you know better than they do. And you know what they say - You cannot be right all the time, because that is like saying that everyone around you is wrong all the time.
"BUT" - Now there probably isn't a more limiting word than this. It's like telling someone that the work a person did was not great because there is an underlying fault that follows. It's like implying that something (again) is imperfect. "You are intelligent, but you didn't use your intelligence wisely." Uhh, in my opinion, this is almost like saying "You nevertheless made a stupid decision even if you have the brains!" Offensive, isn't it? Constantly saying a "but" statement to anyone makes people fear your input - rather than welcome them. Why, because the initial statement is nullified by the but downer you uttered after.
"TRY" - This word has been used for every new experience, for every instance when determination is needed. The truth is, we don't really try to do something - we either DO IT or we DON'T. When you say you will try, you sort of put yourself up to failure. And when you fail, you can always say, "Well, I tried." When you try, you communicate a lack of commitment to the fulfillment of a task. Any successful person will tell you that it is enough to try to accomplish something. DO accomplish something would be more positive. To be a true success, at the onset of every endeavor, always visualize success in the end. Nope - don't try to visualize success but own it, imagine it, savour it - and watch how it turns out in the end.
"NEED" - When you say you need something, there is a recognition that something is missing in your life. Sometimes, the things we perceive as needs are not really that important in our lives. Instead of needing something, why not "want" something instead? Because when you want something, you are determined to get it. Change you needs into wants - and notice a change in the way you view accomplishments and achievements. A want is something you will work at, while a need is more disposable, and in most cases, just fleeting, spur-or-the-moment desires which you can actually do away with. Do you NEED success, power and money? Or do you WANT success, power and money? Notice the difference?
"CAN / CAN'T" - No one is asking you if you are capable or incapable of doing something. What you need in your life is commitment and ownership. Say WILL/ WON'T instead of can/can't. Tell yourself you will do something, and not you can do something, Notice the difference? Can/can't are adjectives. Will/won't are verbs. One is a description while the other one is action.
These are only five of the many words that actually limit one's success. You cannot learn or unlearn them that easily, but it will help you to make a conscious effort to keep them in mind, and let them guide your actions. Your choice of language will have an impact on your outcomes - so be more aware and more determined.
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Michael Griffiths is the CEO and Founder of Secrets Of A Super Life, providing individuals with personal development strategies to increase their purpose, passion, happiness and life fulfilment. For your free life success pack please visit http://www.mysuperlifetoday.com
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