Thursday, May 17, 2012

Tips On How You Can Say No Nicely

One of the most difficult things to master in life is knowing how to say no politely. It is a thin line between rejecting something or an offer and also offending someone. That is why we often have a hard time picking our words when we try to say no. You will find different situations where we might be required to provide a polite no, such as at work, in the streets, or even to someone you have an intimate relationship with.

Understanding how to say no nicely at work is necessary specifically if you don't want to offend any colleague or to sabotage your career. The idea is to reject an offer try not to be tactless about it. If a colleague invites you to an occasion or might wish to share something with you, the best way is to be indirect with your refusal. Phrases like 'No. I don't like' or perhaps 'No. I don't want to' are somewhat too direct and may even cause a frown. The appropriate phrases to use are 'Sorry, I don't particularly like', 'I'm afraid I'm unable to' or perhaps "That's very kind of you, but I really have to"...With words such as these, the recipient is likely to understand you and won't take you offensively.

If you want to reject something from your boss or colleague of a higher rank than you, you will need to be a bit professional here. You can write a short note to pass your message across and make sure you sign your name at the end of the note. Just the same, the use of indirect phrases in saying no are applicable here. As an alternative, sending an email to your boss or a highly ranked colleague, would suffice. Nevertheless, by all means, never walk right into their office and burst out 'No. I cannot…'

If you encounter a stranger, or perhaps a mere acquaintance, you must still have an idea on how to refuse politely. Never take them for granted. You can use words like "I'm sorry, but I'm unable to" or a straightforward 'No, thank you' will suffice. Make sure you are smiling when you do so. Facial expressions speak a lot and send a more meaningful message across than just the phrases you speak. If the acquaintance or stranger insists, then you will have to say a stern 'No'. Sometimes, people mistake your kindness for weakness.

If a spouse or fiancé invites you to an event you don't have the time for, words such as 'I'd love to dear, but currently I am…' or 'That sounds great dear, however….' is another option on how you can say no politely. The next part is the crucial one. Be sure to offer to make it up with your partner. They always feel re-assured this way.

It is great to know that saying 'no' doesn't automatically suggest rejecting someone. We often shy away from the thought of saying it because it sounds rude, uncaring, or you think that someone will not like you anymore. But, it's your right to refuse. Just say it with courtesy to avoid evoking harsh feelings.


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