The first step when you think about "how to get my ex girlfriend back" is to think about what went wrong in the first place. This isn't the most pleasant thing to ponder, but it's critical to winning her back. Did the two of you have trouble communicating? Did one of you cheat? If so, what happened? Was the cheating out of boredom? What really went wrong?
Once you've determined what went wrong, think about how to fix it. This is the most important part of your "how to get my ex girlfriend back" plan. Can you work on communication? Maybe attend counseling sessions together? Have a plan to work on your problems.
Once you have a plan, contact your ex-girlfriend. Don't launch directly into "how to get your ex boyfriend back" mode. Text, instant messaging or email are the best two ways to contact her--they get your message across without putting a lot of pressure on her. Let her know that you'd like to get together to talk.
Suggest someplace to meet that's neutral -- this is not the time to take her back to the place you met or had your first date. A local cafe, diner or coffee shop are possible meeting places.
If you don't hear back from her immediately, give her a few days, then call her. Be prepared to get sent to voicemail, and leave a short message saying you'd like to talk. If she answers, keep the conversation brief and suggest meeting to talk. Don't get into anything emotional during the phone call--focus on setting up a time to meet. End the call as soon as you've set up a time to get together.
When you meet your ex-girlfriend, thank her for getting together. Tell her you've been thinking about what went wrong, and that you're sorry for what happened. Outline your plan to fix it, then listen to her response. Really listen, then indicate you understand. Take a moment to think about about what she said.
Ask her if she'd be open to going on a date. Just something simple; maybe dinner and a movie. Let her know it won't be high pressure, just a chance to reconnect. If she says yes, then plan the date and take things from there. If she says no, see if she'd be open to spending time together as friends. Take your time and redevelop your friendship. When she sees you're willing to respect her and her boundaries, there's a good chance she'll be open to trying a relationship again and you'll have your ex girlfriend back.
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