Friday, March 9, 2012

Taylor Armstrong: Another Battered Affluent Housewife?

Recently, Beverly Hills "Real Housewife" Taylor Armstrong revealed the physical abuse she experienced within her marriage to Russell Armstrong. Russell committed suicide in August 2011 claiming he couldn't keep up with the very unreal image and pressures of the television reality show that spotlighted his marriage and personal events.

While some question the validity of Taylor's marital abuse claims such trauma is all too common behind the closed doors of the rich and famous household. This kind of silent suffering makes no class distinctions. Today a growing number of high-income women seek help or are too afraid to reach out for aid. Even within my exclusive clientele are a number of women who are still traumatized by the violence even though they've been divorced from their abuser for a number of years.

These women defy the stereotypes of domestic violence victims. Its a circumstance that is kept hidden even from friends and family due to shame or potential disbelief. "This doesn't happen to people like us" is the prevailing belief. Yet it does. And its a problem that money alone can't solve.

Battered women are literally beaten into submission. They live in fear. Threats of more, even fatal, violence are believed. They're terrified their affluent and often very well connected spouse will sever any relationship she has with her children should she leave. And she worries that she might not be believed. After all, her husband may be well regarded in the community. With no witnesses many outsiders have a hard time believing abuse occurred.

Furthermore its not unusual for the wife to have little money of her own. Even if she came into the relationship with wealth or earned her own money too often she has no access to it. Her husband controls the purse strings leaving her with little means to seek help, let alone leave.

Public services are also of little help. Many are misguided and think abuse is the price some women pay for their privileged life. Others believe she has the resources to get help from private sources. Her case is considered a low priority. Statistics belie the real problem. Victims of domestic violence in higher-income families are less likely to report the abuse. If the abuse is reported, wealthy men can afford lots of lawyers to prevent the complain from becoming a criminal record.

One of my clients graciously and generously offers this advice to women like her who were victimized by physical and emotional abuse within an affluent marriage: "Trust your gut. If you feel you're in trouble, you're in trouble. Do not rationalize. Get help immediately. Resources are out there but you have to ask for it. Reach out to people outside of your social circle. Most of all forgive yourself. Without forgiveness you remain trapped, paralyzed by your shame."

No one deserves to be abused, ever. There is never any shame in getting help. Standing up for yourself and your well-being is the first and most important step in healing from the inside out. Each subsequent step is built upon the foundation of saying YES to health beyond mere survival.


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Inner Wealth Coach, Personal Growth Expert, Author & Speaker, Valery Satterwhite teaches inheritors and suddenly wealthy how to transcend the paradox of privilege to become a fuller, more complete, self-actualized unique individual. Clients learn how develop a sense of self-worth that matches or exceeds their net-worth. Complimentary eBook: http://www.MoxieTherapy.com


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