Stress Relief in One Word

We all get stressed when we take on too much. We live our busy lives at break neck pace with very little time for ourselves. Yet we still say yes when we're asked if we can help out at the school's charity cup cake sale or show the important client round the local sites of interest. Why is this? In reality, saying "no" can be one of the most liberating and empowering feelings that you can get. And it can also help to lower your stress levels - something we all need in these stressful times.

But how do you say "no" when someone needs your help? There may not be anyone else who can readily help, Or you may simply feel obliged to say yes. Emotional blackmail can be a powerful force. How can you say "no" without sending your stress levels sky high?

In such circumstances, the best way forward is to explain politely but firmly why you cannot do what is being asked of you. Be honest but considerate in your response. After all you do not want to offend anyone, merely do the right thing by yourself. There is no point in going along with something that you do not wish to do if it is going to make you frustrated and unhappy, and especially not if it means that you will not have time to do something else that you did want to do. There are, after all, only so many hours in the day!

Of course if you find it particularly difficult to say no, it could be because, deep down, you really feel that you are being selfish for saying no and want to say yes. Or it could be because you have not actually made up your mind about the request and are not sure what you should do. Indecision is very stressful. Make sure you consider your options and decide what you want to do as quickly as possible.

There are many reasons why you may not find it easy to say no. One might be a lack of self confidence. Low self esteem can force some people to say yes because they believe it is the only way of getting the attention they crave. They are scared that if they say no, that no-one will notice them anymore. However, constantly doing someone else's bidding and ignoring our own wants and needs is a sure way to pile on the stress.

For some people agreeing to do things when they want to say know is all about wanting to be liked. Everyone wants to be liked. It is human nature to want to please people we like and love. However, if saying "yes" means that you feel a know tightening in your stomach, then you should say "no" even if you think it will make you unpopular. The chances are, if you explain your reasons politely, it won't. Instead, you will be respected for giving a definite response in a timely fashion rather than delaying until it is too late for anyone else to be found.

However, if all else fails and you decide that you cannot say no to something, then decide to do it with good grace. There is no point half heartedly doing something because you will be miserable and your lack of enthusiasm will be noticed. Instead throw yourself into your task and be positive about it. You will make lighter work of it, the time will seem to pass more quickly and you might even enjoy yourself!

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For more practical tips on how to improve your life, visit http://www.susanowenthursfield.com/destressforpersonaldevelopment.html and download your free ebook or check out my blog at http://www.susanowenthursfield.com/ and leave a comment.

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