Learning How To Forgive: What's Lacking With Most Forgiveness Advice Today?

Copyright (c) 2013 M.C.Orman, M.D., FLP

Much has been said and written about forgiveness throughout the ages. It's been the subject of religious texts dating all the way back to ancient times. It is frequently addressed in modern personal growth courses. And you can also find many popular self-help books devoted entirely to this subject and which promise to teach you how to learn to forgive.

Despite all this advice, however, most people still find it very difficult to forgive.

While we may often say the words "I forgive you" or "let's just forget the past and move on," still deep within our hearts we find it difficult to truly let go of all the anger and blame we might feel against someone.

This can result in ongoing personal suffering that, for some, continues throughout their entire lifetime. It can result in deep-seated anger or resentment that can damage your health, rob you of enjoyment, diminish your happiness, and continue to poison your relationships with others.

It's not much fun to go through life feeling angry and resentful about anything in your past. But as much as you might want to get rid of these lingering negative feelings, you've probably found it very hard to make them go away.

In order to learn how to forgive, you must learn how to truly let go of any anger or resentment (chronic anger) that has built up within you. It's not enough to simply want to forgive. It's not enough just to say the words "I forgive you" or to try very hard to block out any pain or resentment from your conscious awareness.

You have to truly forgive and let go of the past. But most people find learning to forgive very difficult for two main reasons:

· They don't understand what "letting go" really means.

· They don't understand what is causing their anger in the first place.

These two things are intimately connected. You can't really "let go" of your anger if you don't know what is really causing it to occur. And once you do fully understand what is continuing to drive your persistent feelings of anger and blame, you'll discover that truly forgiving is not all that difficult to do.

This is what's lacking with most forgiveness advice today--a full and clear understanding of what is really driving your anger and blame to occur in the first place.

I've been teaching people how to better understand the internal causes of their anger for more than 30 years now. And once people gain this deeper understanding of the causes of their anger, their ability to forgive improves dramatically.


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Doc Orman, M.D. is a physician, author, stress coach, and founder of The Stress Mastery Academy. To learn more about his advice on how to learn to forgive, as well as how to solve other lingering stress or anxiety problems, visit http://stressandanxietysolutions.com


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