Disappointment can build character and patience if you allow it to. Learning to deal with your disappointments constructively can make you a stronger person in the end. It's easy to get mad, feel sorry, think of giving up… but we all know that these are not the wise ways to deal with failure. A true strong person is not one who is immune from any debilitating feelings, but one who gets up after falling.
Here are some great steps towards handling disappointment. How do you measure up?
Accept.
Denial is very powerful. The first step would be to come to terms with our current predicaments. We should accept the situation for what it is.
Let it out.
One of the hardest things to do in a world where everything is immediate--we are all under external pressure, and time is a scarce resource--is to just let yourself experience a feeling. Human beings are not very good at allowing the experiencing of emotions in full without trying to speed up the process. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling without any agenda of speeding up the process. Whatever you are feeling is OK. Take some time to just sit with your emotion and experience it without moving to fix or change it. Genuinely experiencing emotions, no matter how painful, is one of the beauties of life. Don't shy away from these moments. Be present in them. And if you need to - talk about it. People may know about our recent let-down but in order to offload some of that emotional baggage. Talk to a close-friend, relative or shrink. Learning to talk about things that have hurt us is a good approach to faster healing.
Let go of any anger.
Unfortunately, when things don't go right it's easy to feel anger towards people, bosses and organizations. Anger is a double-edged sword: it can either fuel your next initiative or it can keep you from moving forward. If you're going to use it as fuel eventually you'll still want to let it go.
Stop the Self-pity
Avoid at all costs the pressure to begin to feel sorry for yourself. The moment you go down this path the harder it is to get out. Feeling sorry for yourself not only immobilizes you, but it also has the potential to open the door for serious levels of depression.
Return to your purpose
Everyone has a purpose in life. If you know what that is, recalibrate your mindset to work from this foundational place. If you know what you're supposed to be doing, it's easier and quicker to get back into step with where you're headed.
Look for a solution or compromise
You can't have your way all the time but sometimes there may be a second option that's agreeable to each party. Take a few deep breaths, relax, and look for the "silver lining." It's possible to find something positive in almost every situation.
Re-evaluate and make changes if necessary
Sometimes when we experience disappointment, it may be a sign that we need to re-examine our priorities. Depending on the degree of disappointment you're facing, you may need to make minor or major changes to your life. Learn to be flexible. Refocusing your attention on your new goals will help you forget about your disappointment.
Don't Give Up
Any person who has had even a small degree of success in life has faced disappointments. Winners simply don't quit. They learn from their failures and disappointments and go on to achieve their goals. You can become your own biggest motivator! Don't underestimate the power of encouraging yourself by saying, "I can do this. I can make it. I will get through this and become a better person!" You don't need to allow disappointment to lower your self-confidence. That's not to say that you need to gloss over your feeling, but you can simply learn how to deal with your disappointments effectively, then move on to bigger and better things.
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Michael Griffiths is the CEO and Founder of Secrets Of A Super Life, providing individuals with personal development strategies to increase their purpose, passion, happiness and life fulfilment. For your free life success pack please visit http://www.mysuperlifetoday.com
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