It's Hard To Let Go and Even Harder Not To

"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't." -Steve Maraboli

One of my readers, Tom, commented about a blog I wrote and really hit the nail on the head. He said, "I think it's hard to let go of things, but it's even harder not to. Wow...that is exactly the point. I get a lot of emails saying, When 'Bad Things' happen it isn't always easy to let go or to get over it.

And guess what? You're right. That's why I always preface these discussions about healing or letting go or dealing with adversity with the fact that it's normal to go through the initial emotional upheaval. You may cry, A LOT. You will go through an entire gamut of emotions and feelings regarding whatever it is that has happened to you.

LETTING GO IS EMOTIONAL

Things such as grief, despair, heartache, overwhelming feelings of betrayal, regrets, fear, worry, pain, anger, jealousy, wanting to get even, and loneliness are just some of the "initial" feelings that are ripe for a short period immediately after you experience a crisis in your life.

But...really letting go of it and moving on is difficult for most people to implement into their lives. After the initial, "normal" emotions you go through when grieving or processing such kinds of events then it's time to let go and move on. But, this is where people become stuck.

Some people are so stuck living with worry, fear or regrets etc. about what happened in the past or what might happen in the future that they forfeit really living today. They become so consumed with it, that they actually live most of their days in the past, they check in, move in and live there!

And in my opinion and Tom's too, which is more difficult? Living with all the emotional baggage that goes along with holding on and not letting go of something that makes you feel bad? Or, taking the time and energy to purposely and consciously focus your mind to stop dwelling on these things?

And more importantly, you should purposely and consciously focus on what you're grateful for and how you would like to feel instead!

When you keep your mind focused on past pain or future fears it becomes a habit. And the more you think these kinds of negative thoughts the worse you feel and it does absolutely nothing to help you heal and move on.

IT'S NOT EASY TO LET GO OF SOMETHING WHEN THAT'S ALL YOU THINK ABOUT

The reason why it's not easy is because of where you choose to focus your thinking! Period

If every time you think of whatever it is and you catch yourself and say, STOP IT! Then consciously re-direct your thoughts to something of good report, to the kinds of thoughts that lift you up, or of thoughts of what you are truly grateful for and dwell on these thoughts instead, you will understand what we mean when we say, it's harder to live with the pain of the past and fear of the future than it is to fill your mind with love, gratitude and a true appreciation for what you do have in your life.

It's not easy because you won't let go of the old way of thinking. You are holding onto this negativity in your life that does absolutely nothing to make you feel good and everything to make you feel bad. And, what in the heck is so easy about that? That's like having another full time job and one that's a lot harder than the one you already have.

WHAT ARE YOU FOCUSED ON?

I believe some people are so used to feeling bad (habit) that they don't know how to be happy. They may even think there is something wrong with it. I remember when I first started doing this, I used to think, what are you doing? You're supposed to be worried about having no money because you lost your job you can't be happy. What's wrong with you?

But I refused to worry and fret over it because I had faith that everything would work out and I believe that wasting my time worrying about it did nothing but make me feel bad and I simply didn't want to feel like that so I changed my mind instead.

Or, I would let go of the anger I felt when a business associate stabbed me in the back instead of holding on to it. And a few other colleagues would say, I can't believe you're not mad. I would think to myself, why should I give this person another minute of my precious time thinking about them or what they did and how it upset my world. It was not worth the way it made me feel. And I changed what I was thinking about instead.

By the way, when they came in my mind I would simply bless them and release them.

And the same thing when a relationship ended that I didn't want to end, instead of crying over it for months, I chalked it up to another one of those things that I had no control over and didn't spend a lot of time grieving over it.

I figured I got over other past relationships that I thought I never would so why do I want to hold onto this one? I also knew that the more I would dwell on what happened the worse I felt and that isn't how I wanted to feel, so I consciously changed my mind!!

Now don't get me wrong, I felt bad, sad and mad in each of these instances to begin with. I dealt with all of those initial emotions but the difference is I chose to let them go. I chose NOT to hold onto them.

I also chose to consciously change my mind every time they wanted to grab a hold of me again. It took some work but it was well worth the effort in the end. I moved on and didn't let any of it ruin my life.

As a matter of fact I remained happy in spite of it. And that is the key to living the way you were meant to!

The bottom line is this, you have a choice. You can either choose to constantly dwell on the past and all the hurts and pain or worry about the future. Or, you can choose to get in control of what you think about instead.

It's a lot harder to hold onto to the past and live with hurt and pain than it is to love your life and appreciate what you have left after the dust settles. There really is a big beautiful world around you if you only open your eyes and look at it instead of your darkness.


----------------------------------------------------
To find out more about how to stop wasting your time and begin living your best life now, go to: http://www.susanrusso.com Susan's work has inspired people from all over the world to take back their power! Learn the secrets in Susan's new book: "The 7 Keys to Unlock the Power Within You." We all make decisions everyday, why not make the decision to live a better life starting now?


EasyPublish this article: http://submityourarticle.com/articles/easypublish.php?art_id=311365