Moms: I'm Finally Taking Your Advice

"When you're older, you'll understand." I can't count the number of times my mother has said this to me. I didn't believe her, until recently. A few things she said throughout my childhood are starting to ring very true. Like these:

Make time for yourself:
Basically from the second I passed that driver's license test, I was moving nonstop. I crammed in as much as possible in every day. Homework, softball practice, pizza with buddies, maybe a party. It seemed I was always in a rush. No hour of my day was just…unscheduled. My mom said this in a sing-song tone as I dashed out the kitchen door for the umpteenth thing I "had to do" that day, "just be sure to take time for yourSELF." And I would say "yeah, yeah." But never did. I moved at those warp speeds into my college years and never felt an issue with it. It's only recently, as a college graduate and working person, that I am beginning to experience the negative effects of making no time for myself. I will get aggravated with those around me. I'll even experience some depression, feeling like I don't know myself. I will become unable to focus on my work (and that is secretly my brain saying I just want to think about NOTHING for a little bit). I'm realizing that time for personal reflection, or even time to think about nothing at all, is crucial for re-charging. Plenty of us consider partying with our buddies as just another way of re-charging, but it's just not. You have to listen to other people's stories. You have to consider the impression you are giving off. Your mind is still working at high speeds. Full relaxation of the brain only happens when you're by yourself. That's why I decided to finally do what I've always wanted and track down a singing teacher. I use a program called The Singing Zone which created by voice coach Per Bristow which lets me work on my technique from home.

Let men chase you:
This advice used to drive me nuts. I would think "how old world of her." To me, letting a man chase me meant playing games. It entailed allowing myself to take on a damsel in distress position. Since then I've discovered that that wasn't my mom's meaning. I had to do things that made me look desperate though first, to see that. My mom was trying to tell me not to overwhelm a man. If he asks you out and you want to go, go. If you see him calling on your phone and you feel like answering, answer. But, don't ask him out three times in a row. Don't show up at his home unannounced to make him a surprise dinner he didn't ask for (unless you're in a serious relationship and it's established that you are always welcome). Don't give him heaps of presents when he hasn't bought you even one. Essentially, let him know that you know your worth and let him show you that he knows it too.

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Vera Esther is a healthy living, dating and luxury lifestyle writer. She has blogged and written articles on everything from organic wine tasting to first date horrors and even unique ways to pursue singing like with http://www.bristowvoicemethod.com/

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