Let Go of the Expectation of an Outcome
Several years ago, as I prepared to go to my parent's home for a family event, I was planning my schedule, making an agenda, and driving myself crazy trying to fit everything into the time I would be there. I sat down and took a deep breath. The realization hit me that if I didn't have to meet anyone's expectations the trip would be a lot more joyful. Then I had an even deeper realization that if I didn't have expectations, or an agenda, or even a schedule, that the trip would be much simpler. I decided to try it. I allowed other people to make their schedules, and told them that, if possible, when they let me know the time and place, I'd be there. Even when it was last minute, I didn't care. In fact, last minute plans eliminated my creating outcomes in my mind. I just showed up, with no expectations.
The result was astounding. I floated through the 10 days. I was filled with joy. There were no promises that might be broken, no drama from having made plans that someone else didn't like, and with no expectations, I was never disappointed. By the end of the trip, everyone was asking me how I could remain so calm and happy when things seemed to be swirling around my large and loud family.
After that experience, I started to do that in my day-to-day life. Spontaneity has become very fun. When something comes up, I check with my intuition, stay present, and make the decision in the moment. Then I refrain from attaching expectations to the outcome, and as a result, am not disturbed by what might happen.
Understand Your Beliefs and Their Effects
What influences whether we listen to our intuition or not? Why do we deny our intuition and ignore the physical, mental, and emotional signs along the way? The greatest impact on our decision-making is our belief system. The influence on our beliefs comes from our experiences, who we choose to listen to, who we are sometimes indoctrinated to believe, and who we might aspire to revere.
I recently heard an analogy that John Welwood described in his book "Love and Awakening". When you are born, you are given a beautiful castle with hundreds of rooms, each representing a part of your inner world. The rooms are perfect, and each contains a gift. As a child, you explore each room with no preconceived ideas, no shame, no judgment. As you get older, you start hearing from others that certain rooms are not right, that you should lock them up to keep the castle safe. Because you desire acceptance and love, you close the room. Then another, and another. You stop listening to your inner voice and instead believe the opinions of others. In no time, you are living in a one-bedroom house in need of repairs.
I believe that we are all born with the same amount of joy in our hearts. We each begin our life with openness and come from a place of love. How we choose to respond to the voices we hear, the belief systems that are thrust upon us, will determine which rooms of our house we close and which stay open. When we come from fear, more rooms will remain closed. Love keeps the doors open.
Fear is not a bad thing, unless it becomes paralyzing. Fear can protect you from harm. And it can also keep you from enjoying the flow of life. However, for some reason in our culture, looking for the good in things, being positive, being fearless, has become a negative thing. Have you ever had someone say to you that you are not being "realistic"? What I want to know is why being negative and coming from a place of fear is more realistic than being open and loving?
According to estimates, 90% of what we worry about never happens. If negative worries have a 10% chance of being correct, doesn't that mean that being positive is more realistic? The important thing to ask yourself is why it's better to be fearful when you have a choice to be happy. After all, you have the same ability to choose love as you do to choose fear.
Remove the Filters
As I mentioned earlier, one of the most powerful means of change is language. Another significant method is visualization. Imagine the process of manifestation I described in Part 1. What filters (some people call them Gremlins, or voices of fear, etc.) keep you from moving toward your purpose? Picture them blocking the process. Then imagine yourself removing them, one by one. Take them out and allow the next moment to happen, without expectation. Allow the process to occur, instead of trying to control it. Free yourself from limiting beliefs and the idea that you aren't good enough. Regain your trust—in you, and in the universe and that which is your purpose, your destiny.
Allow the Process to Occur
Control is an aspect often overlooked in the discussion of fear. When something negative happens to us, particularly at a young age, we seek ways to make our environment safe, or to make others conform to our ideas, or to maintain a semblance of order. This need for control is a direct response to fear. In fact, it is the single most influential belief that compels us to ignore our intuition.
Allowing the process to occur requires letting go of the idea that we have, or more importantly, need to have control. Is that need really serving you? How much energy do you expend trying to maintain an outward appearance of control? When you get out of your own way and the flow begins to happen, you will see that all the energy you've expended on controlling the process or the outcome will begin to serve you, instead of blocking you from what you want in your life. Let go of an outcome, remove the filters, and allow the process to occur. Your inner voice will guide you if you allow it.
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MJ Schwader helps enlightened entrepreneurs, change agents, and healers create and market their products, services, and businesses using the power of writing. MJ weaves shamanic training with 12 years of experience as a writing coach. To learn more, go to http://www.theshamanicpath.com or MJ's ebook webinar, http://www.turnyourpassiontoprofitebooks.com
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