Saturday, February 18, 2012

How Our Happiness Changes With Age

How often have you been asked the question, "Are you happy?" And as you scramble around your brain for the answer to the question, how often have you based your response to this question on any of the following factors: 1) your financial situation, 2) family life, 3) work achievements, or 4) relationship status?

Too many times, we base our happiness on these things… and guess what? You may be right. These 4 factors are indeed the most common things people try to perfect in their lives. Failure in one or more aspects does cause some discontentment or unhappiness - at least, for most people.

I asked my 15 year old nephew what his concept of happiness is. He answered, "Being able to do all the things I want." My follow-up question: "without regard for consequences?" He surprisingly said YES. Further inquiry gave me some insight as to how he felt - that true happiness for someone so young and idealistic was equivalent to freedom, with no fear of repercussions. In short - irresponsible, reckless and selfish fulfillment of all wants and desires. It's true that children were born needy and self-centered. But as people grow older, they realize that happiness is relative to their ability to survive in the midst of other people.

As we gain maturity, especially true in our 30's and 40's, we are faced with realities. First, that no matter how hard we think otherwise, it's hard to survive without money. It's a reality of life. And in our pursuit of money, sadly we slowly think that having it, or lots of it will "buy" us happiness. Why not, when the wealthy are able to eat the best food, drink the finest wines, live in the most luxurious houses, and be labeled as "successful?" Of course, with money comes power - another thing that supposedly makes some people happy… but power is never without consequences. Some of these consequences are the things that cause major pain to most people - failure, stress, broken families, and possibly even health problems.

For some people, happiness is measured by their ability to deal with above-stated consequences. Failure is painful, but they help us appreciate happiness more. Stress is inevitable, but when we master the art of controlling it, we become stronger as persons. Most people succumb to stress - making it the most common cause of poor health. But if we have a supportive family and loved ones, stress becomes less of a challenge and failure is easier to accept.

People in their 50's are said to experience the most sadness. This is probably due to their realization that they were unable to achieve most of what they want to achieve, acquire what they want to acquire, live the life they want to live. And the unhappiness is compounded by the fact that there's so little time left to get the things they want.

But the sadness does not last forever. When a person realizes that he has no choice but to live with what he was able to acquire and amass (wealth, possessions or maybe even debt), from denial, he enters into a period of acceptance. This is most evident at the ages of 60 and over.

They say that older people, despite their decreased mobility and health issues are on the average happier than younger, more-stressed people. This is because they have less aspirations and expectations from themselves. The less you expect, the less the possibility of disappointment. They have the ability to master their emotions and get a grip on reality - perhaps because they have lived through a lot of failures already in life. They have more wisdom and psychological intelligence, and thus worry less about trying to please people all the time. They live in the moment and worry less about the future. These factors really serve as valuable lessons to younger people.

People in the last years of their lives have a greater appreciation for life. They no longer have senseless needs and wants - they know that these are not the true measures of happiness. They no longer stress about the trivial things - because they know that much of the trivialities in life are not important in their senior years. They see each day as another chance to achieve happiness - thus resulting in a deep sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. Maybe the true secret to happiness is indeed living each day as though it were your last one.


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Michael Griffiths is the CEO and Founder of Secrets Of A Super Life, providing individuals with personal development strategies to increase their purpose, passion, happiness and life fulfilment. For your free life success pack please visit http://www.mysuperlifetoday.com


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