"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."
~From a headstone in Ireland
Everyone single person that faces loss deals with it differently. There is no right or wrong way; there is only your way. And your way will look and feel different on many levels than the person beside you. So don't ever feel bad for feeling bad and allow yourself the time to move through the process the way that is right for you.
Now that being said, there does come a time when grieving over someone or something can become unhealthy and that is when you hold onto the grief and allow it to consume you. But there is no rule other than every loss is accompanied by growth of some kind.
Of course you know that the most recent loss and the most difficult loss for me has been losing my mother. But you also know that I, like you, have had many losses in my life. I've lost a six figure job, best friends have come and gone in my life, expensive jewelry, I've lost relationships because of betrayal.
What have you lost? Some people lose everything, their homes, their families and some lose the ultimate loss of all, a child.
As you can imagine because this is so fresh in my mind I have been quite introspective and contemplating the meaning of loss. I'm sure that this is just the beginning of a long process to unravel my thoughts and feelings but what I have already come to know is that ultimately what I have gained is far greater than my loss. And, what I have gained will live in me forever and it is also something that we can never lose and that is, love.
We can lose material possessions and the people we love but we will never lose the greatest gift of all and that is what lives inside you. Too often we look outside of ourselves for people and things to complete us, to make our lives better. Ironically you have to look no further than your soul or spirit which lives within you.
I have also come to understand that as much as I wished my mom could live forever, I now know she was simply on loan to me and her work is now complete. And coming to terms with that is one of the lessons of life. Although she is not physically here her love, joy and spirit is still with us.
The gifts that each relationship we have brings to us are part of our life lesson's. Too often we overlook the lesson's because our emotions, bitterness and anger blind us to what there is to learn.
So no matter what is going on in your life right now that you feel you can't get over, not only will you heal but hopefully you will learn from it as well. And, because we know that the only thing permanent in life is change, look at the people that you still have in your life and celebrate them being with you. Let them know how much you love them and how important they are to you and appreciate the gifts that God gives you that will live in your hearts forever.
In my opinion, it is not about what we accumulate along the way in possessions and status it is about how we loved that matters the most. When you give love unconditionally, you give a gift that will last forever.
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Susan Russo is an author and coach who has helped people from around the world move beyond heartache and pain after their breakup or divorce. Would you like to heal your broken heart sooner rather than later? Find out exactly how with Susan'sFREE copy of the 7 Steps to heal your broken heart at:http://www.whystay.com
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