I had been thoroughly searching for the right girl, but was having a great deal of difficulty. It literally seemed like every girl I dated had all sorts of issues and problems and was not an ideal candidate.
I had a very active dating life, and was having success with women but they all just weren't right for me. I was 28, using online dating websites, asking girls out I'd meet in person, and networking through family and friends to find nice girls when suddenly I got hit in the stomach with a ton of bricks and my life changed forever.
I was reading a Jim Rohn book one of the great personal development authors when it all started to click for me and I was finally able to truly look and successfully find the right girl. I was reading about his unique view on goal setting when it occurred to me what the real problem was in my search for the the right girl.
It occurred to me that the issue was not the women I was choosing that the real problems were all within myself and my view on finding the right girl. I had never had an idea of what the right girl really was for me nor had I ever taken the time to think it through and even write down a couple notes about it.
However I did know a very important life goal was to meet the right girl and to have a family of my own. Yet without this "aha" moment I would have continued for years to search desperately in all the wrong places.
I Was Always Focused On The Negatives
While I was searching for the right woman I had always focused on the negative things about women. I would get together with a girl and we would start to get to know each other, but almost immediately I would find faults with her.
For example, I was casually dating two girls at the time and had decided that one girl was too young for me, it was only 4 year age gap. While the other girl, I had decided twas too intellectual for me, she worked in mathematics and engineering.
Thankfully I was lucky enough to come to this realization and take steps to fix it in time to continue one of these amazing and ultimately best relationships of my life. Instead of looking for the faults and bad things about girls, I look for the good.
I quickly shifted my view to focusing on the good qualities about women. For example, with the girl things eventually worked out with I focused on the fact that she was intelligent, a graduate student, very attractive, fun loving, caring…
Jim Rohn calls it "majors and minors" and is saying that you need to keep your priorities and values in line, for myself that was being able to appreciate the great things about women while I was getting to know them instead of just looking for the reasons why this one, wasn't the right girl. Further, that if a goal of mine is to find the right girl then I need to be open to it and part of that is not looking for the reasons why she isn't the right girl. Instead look for the reasons why she could be the right girl.
If it is important for you to find the right woman then you need to focus on all the good things about every woman you meet and not the bad things. This doesn't mean you should overlook deal breakers or red flags but it will ensure that you don't miss out and let an amazing and beautiful woman slip through your fingers.
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