Finding Balance Between Narcissism and Self-Hatred

Regardless of the field of pursuit, most successful individuals have innate confidence or self-esteem that helped them weather the challenges and criticisms. This innate confidence is one of the primary factors that enabled them to have focus and achieve their goals despite the odds. This confidence should not be confused with arrogance or narcissism although some very successful people may seem arrogant or narcissistic.

Confidence vs. arrogance

Having confidence is arguably an essential ingredient in achieving success but it still has to correspond to reality. Over-confidence or arrogance can actually do more harm than good. It can alienate an individual from his or her own group. It can result to failure simply because of not having sufficient effort or preparation. Case in point is an intelligent student who has not reviewed for an important exam believing that it can easily be passed.

Arrogance is sometimes associated with narcissism or self-love that is inconsiderate of other people. People who are narcissistic tend to be ineffective as team-players, especially if they are not holding positions of authority. Even if they hold such positions they may tend to be oppressive and self-absorbed.

Inferiority complex

The opposite of over-confidence and narcissism is inferiority complex which is often characterized by self-hatred. Obviously, this attitude is much worse than narcissism in terms of its negative effect on achieving success. It would be very difficult for someone to be successful in life without first having the confidence to do so. Hence, inferiority complex is a self-defeating attitude that is likely result in failure and further disappointment.

A balance between narcissism and insecurity complex is important in achieving success and in adapting to social situations. Individuals must be able to discover and enhance their abilities and good characteristics. At the same time, individuals must also be able to rationally acknowledge their limitations. It should be noted that acknowledging limitations is not the same as self-hatred.

Healthy compromise

Finding a healthy balance in terms of self assessment and attitude will lead to the realistic pursuit of personal goals. Narcissism and self-loathing are opposite extremes in the confidence spectrum that should be avoided. There might be periodic highs and lows in an individual's mood but it is crucial to remain objective in assessing situations.

A healthy balance in terms of self worth will allow individuals to maintain focus and implement effective strategies in pursuing goals. More often than not, individuals will need the help of others and may need to work in groups. Over-confidence and insecurity complex are destructive both at the level of individuals and at the level of groups.


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