What you name as the qualities of a great relationship? When asked, men have named things like their truck, their wrench set and their easy chair. They also name people like their old college buddy, their co-worker or their brother. They describe these relationships as being easy, simple, rewarding and low maintenance. Women also named objects, things like an appliance, a killer pair of shoes, a cozy sweater. Women discuss having ideal relationships with old friends, favorite neighbors and family. The words women might use to explain what makes these relationships ideal are words like dependable, comfortable, reliable.
My idea of a great relationship is the one I have with my dog, Cleo. It's pretty ideal when you think of it. I provide the dog food, the shelter, a daily walk and some love. I may have bad days and act grouchy. Cleo on the other hand never seems to have a bad day, because she never fails to greet me at the door with excitement and enthusiasm, and boundless love. She is comforting, reliable, steadfast and easy to maintain. The perfect relationship.
I don't have anyone in my life that is so enthusiastic about greeting me at night, no matter how long I've been gone. She needs so little from me, and gives me so much. This is what I call unconditional love.
What is the definition of unconditional love?
Like a dog's love, unconditional love has no boundaries. It's not withheld because of a perceived slight or imperfection from your partner. It's given precisely because your partner is not perfect.
You are fully aware your partner has faults. You know your spouse is not perfect. If you look up mistakes in the dictionary, their picture might be there. But that's OK, that's why you still love them.
This is the meaning of unconditional love.
So how about you? You've certainly got some faults and you've made mistakes. You are by no means perfect. Yikes. How is you're your partner love you for all your imperfections? Well, that's loving unconditionally.
Is there any lesson here? I Do we want to get a dog, because that's a dependable, comforting way to get love? We all clutter our lives with thoughts and emotions, trials and tribulations, and there is the tendency to let our issues become bigger than they really are and rule our lives. That's only going to inhibit the giving and receiving of true love.
If you are looking for a way to turn your relationship into what we described as ideal, then it's time to put aside all the emotional baggage that's dragging you down and make room for the unconditional love to take root and thrive. Don't give this baggage any more power than it deserves. Acknowledge that faults exist, mistakes have been made, but love must endure.
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