Monday, May 6, 2013

How To Cut Friendships that Pull You Down

Friends are meant to revive you, uplift you and renew your outlook in life. But in every person's life, there are simply some friends that do just the opposite - they contradict your decisions, undermine your true potential, and make you as depressed as they are. These ties do you more bad than good, and getting rid of these people, although recommended, is not easy. How do you do it?

Here are 5 Good tips to Free Yourself of Damaging Relationships.

Make them feel that you are not insulted or belittled by their out-downs
Nothing is more annoying than knowing that all efforts to put someone down do not achieve its goal. It's like trying to talk to a blank wall…so do it! Make your negative "friends" feel your overwhelming self-belief - that they would be better off leaving you be. Much more effective has been ending conversations with sickening sweetness or just plain abruptness. The message is clear: There is no reward for subtle digs and no games will be played at your end.

Take positive control of negative conversations. It's okay to change the topic, talk about you, or steer conversations away from pity parties and self-absorbed sagas. Be willing to disagree with them and deal with the consequences.

Be brutally honest. Some people really don't recognize their own toxic tendencies or their inconsiderate behavior. You can actually tell a person, "I feel like you ignore me until you need something." You can also be honest if their overly negative attitude is what's driving you away: "I'm trying to focus on positive things. What's something good that we can talk about?" It may work and it may not, but your honesty will ensure that any friendship that continues forward is built on mutually beneficial ground.

Firmly tell them you've had enough. There simply is no better way to deal with this situation that to cut ties. Remember, for as long as you keep these naysayers in your life, you will be tempted to believe them occasionally, and to doubt your own conjured-up incapacities. If you've decided it's time to cut a truly toxic influence out of your life, you can let them know honestly (without being cruel). "I just can't be friends with you right now" isn't fun to hear, but it has the benefit of putting everybody on the same page.

Make new friends worth having. Give your time to friends you connect with and enjoy. The long shadows of toxic friends shrink considerably when you've got better things to do with your time than worry about their negativity.


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Michael Griffiths is the CEO and Founder of Secrets Of A Super Life, providing individuals with personal development strategies to increase their purpose, passion, happiness and life fulfilment. For your free life success pack please visit http://www.mysuperlifetoday.com


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