Monday, July 16, 2012

How To Be In A Relationship

This is big question that many couples are facing - and it is both a very complex and very simple issue. We may have to learn again - 'How to be in a relationship '!

Experts in marriage relations will sagely count the following questions as major factors in the troubled area of intimate relations: 1. Are you or your partner falling out of love? 2. Marriage falling apart and feeling powerless? 3. Anger and conflict tearing you two apart? 4. Is your marriage affected by addiction issues? 5. Partner cheated on you? 6. Marriage affected by money problems?

** Did Cupid die of old age?

There is no question that these are highly relevant points to be considered, but there is one more factor-- one that is much more elementary. That basic issue is: conversation / communication, and it is often overlooked.

The most basic and fundamental part of communication is the ability to carry on a conversation with your mate. Consider:

1. Is it possible that you are talked-- out? 2. Is it possible that the luster is off the memorable wedding ceremony? 3. After the flowers are wilted-- the guests are long gone-- and the honeymoon is long over-- what now? 4. What on earth can there be to discuss-- that you haven't already talked about?

How on earth can you flirt with the person you constantly have sex with? Well, the happiest couples do - and possibly you should consider it. Actually it may seem a little ridiculous to even think of that-- after all, you have seen your spouse in every conceivable mood and situation ... ahhh-- the mystery is certainly gone. What a shame!

Well, is it actually gone? You know that this is the same person you fell madly in love with last year, or maybe two years ago-- maybe five-- maybe 20, maybe ...

It doesn't really matter how many years have passed, does it? You have seen each other succeed, and have seen each other fail (as we all do occasionally) ... You have seen it all with each other. No one knows you better than your spouse.

Is that good, or bad? Most would think it good; very, very good. But, maybe you are asking yourself, just what is a relationship? And how did I get into one-- and especially this one? Is the marriage too much for me?

But, if you are at a threshold, and contemplating a parting, maybe you should reconsider.

Just think of all the new info you have to learn: Dating protocol, dating tricks, dating expenses, and often - dating disappointments. It would be a formidable task to find the 'right one 'again. Perhaps the 'right one 'is looking at you now - from across the kitchen table.

Question-- from a very practical point:

1. Is time better spent learning to date all over, or 2. Would the time be better spent to address whatever is the relationship problem you are now facing?

If you have clearly eliminated the communication as the basic underlying cause of the difficulties you are experiencing-- then perhaps you should seek some hard core advice and meaningful help from experts.


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Ron Vicari is a skilled conversationalist - and brings the art of communication to a simple, fun adventure. He firmly believes that everything we do in our lives revolves around effective communication - whether it be in a social setting such as a dinner party, or in a boardroom - or in a bedroom.
Good Conversation Skills make Good Relationships!
Find him at: http://relationshipsadvices.org


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