Just a few months before she called me she was visiting me and helping me through the process of re-evaluating and organizing my own life. She was on top of the world then with a budding new business with a possibility of franchising it, a beautiful, successful new boyfriend and a whole lot of potential on her horizon. She is model gorgeous, is a sincere spiritual seeker having studied yoga for over a decade. She has an intuitive ability and has learned to hone her skills to the benefit of those she encounters. She is a world traveler and an entrepreneur, constantly creating business ideas but unfortunately can never follow through.
Of course she isn't perfect, but who is, right? She is addicted to love and cigarettes which drives her crazy because she wants to lead a more holistic lifestyle and make a career of helping others do the same. Although I suspect at times she struggles with an eating disorder. She constantly resists conformity of any kind and claims she has ADD and therefore isn't capable of holding down a full time "regular" job. Her fall back career is stripping. She has been struggling with bouts of depression since she can remember and was a victim of child abuse. Needless to say she has mood swings.
She sounds like a friend we all have in our lives at one point in time or another. As a compassionate friend, I try to help her in any way I can. Friends don't enjoy hearing their friends struggle in life or of their continued sadness, so as good friends will do, we look for solutions to help our friends out.
I have learned from my own bouts of depression that a depressed person isn't looking for a solution until they are fully over feeling depressed. Depressed people do not want to hear that they hold the key to unlock happiness within themselves, that they are the controller of their own destiny. Many people are addicted to their pain. They can go for years whining and crying about issues that have passed years ago. They can worry and fret over a future that hasn't even happened yet. Who knows if this future idea built around the fear of "What if..." ever will happen.
So what can we do for our friends who are feeling hopeless? I know that when I am at my lowest, I seek the comfort of my friends. I just want to be held and have them tell me everything is going to be alright. The one thing we can count on is change! Nothing is permanent! Trauma and drama are parts of life that make us stronger people. Pain will bring us to our knees and force us to call out for help from our friends and God. There is a Rumi poem that I keep on my dashboard in my car that says, "The place God has marked on the map for you is exactly where you need to be." So no matter what is going on in my life, good or terrible, I know that God has placed me in this situation for the benefit of my spiritual growth.
Reminding our hopeless friends that life is fleeting, a human life is but a blink in consciousness in the grand scheme of things. Life is a precious gift and we must learn to be grateful for all the episodes that occur within our lifespan. We are blessed with so many things we all take for granted. We must remind ourselves and each other of these blessings. We must learn to love each other more deeply and develop more compassion for one another's pain and suffering. When we can love each other through the darkest hours, days, months or years of friendship we are rewarded with a much more profound love, than just being a good time friend.
Life is full of twists and turns and unexpected tragedies. One never knows the hour of ones death so in the meanwhile, we must learn to appreciate every moment we have to share with each other. A smile and hugs go a long way when someone is feeling unloved or feels like giving up. Kind reassuring words can actually save a life. Like The Beatles song goes, "Love is all we need!" Above all we must remember who we truly are and that is the essence of Universal Consciousness. The process of Self-Awakening is attainable by all. It is simply a rememberance of our true mature.
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