Saturday, December 31, 2011

Three Times Being Yourself Pays Off

We shouldn't show every part of ourselves in everything we do. Our love of bathroom humor doesn't quite fit at every Sunday luncheon, our thoughts on the recent political debate shouldn't be shared during a business meeting, and our love of sparkly dresses doesn't need to come out at every function we go to. Nonetheless, there are some areas in which you should always be 100% yourself. Like these:

In a relationship:
Don't pretend you're into an activity just because your partner is. Don't act ask though something they've done didn't disturb you when it actually made you almost flip your lid. Don't pretend that you need or want less than you need or want. You cannot train yourself to desire less, or to be someone other than yourself. So, if you plan on trying to be somebody that you just aren't in your relationship, you will feel like you're constantly fighting an uphill battle. The one place that is supposed to be completely welcoming and comfortable in your life—your relationship—will become just like your work, or the home of that crazy step mom you can't stand. It can become an environment in which you have to swallow your thoughts and be conscious of every tiny thing you do rather than an open, comforting environment in which you can let go of inhibitions.

In your writing/singing/performing:
Never attempt to recreate the artistic work of another artist. As a rule, I actually read as little as possible of material that is in the same genre of my own. Why? Because I don't want someone else's style accidentally infiltrating my work! I don't want to unconsciously begin writing like someone else. I'd also rather not compare myself to another because, the moment we begin to do that, we can lose awareness of the peculiar and rare traits that our own work offers. They forget that it's not about being better or worse, but different. A video on Per Bristow's The Singing Zone discusses this point very thoroughly and I recommend any performer to watch it.

In large business deals:
When you are the employee, of course you have to put on a certain image. You have to dress and speak a certain way, and even pretend that certain things are your priorities, that simply are not. But, when you are doing big business, like considering taking a partner on in your firm, or selling half of your company, lay everything out on the table. Make sure the individual who might end up being the representative of your years of love and sweat knows your values. Make them aware if sometimes you say a bad word or two, or if you enjoy the occasional bottle of wine at lunch, or if you just can't be around people with certain political views. You are essentially entering into a relationship with this person, and you don't want that interpersonal relationship to affect the quality of the work you do together.


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Julia Austin is a healthy living, luxury lifestyle, travel and dating writer. Her articles on everything from skinny cocktails to online dating horror stores to how to improve one's voice with sites like http://www.thesingingzone.com/ have been featured on dozens of sites.

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