As children, we are surrounded by people who constantly cheer us on, helping us become the best person we can be. We look at life with so much positivity and idealism that we remain steadfast in the thought that we can conquer the world.
However, as we grow older, we begin to experience setbacks that make us lose faith in ourselves. Maybe it's that university you dreamt of entering, which turned you down thrice already. Or that really great job you were so dead-set on getting - but was given to someone prettier or more intelligent. Or that man whom thought was your knight in shining armour, but made you his punching bag and unpaid maid.
In short, even if we started life as champions, the little and constant setbacks cause us to lose faith in ourselves. We become sceptical of the motives of the new people who enter our lives. We lose the ability to fight for our happiness because we have been beaten down by so many failures. We quit trying to better ourselves, because we think all our efforts are useless, since we are "losers" anyway.
Getting up after a tough fight is difficult, but it may be the only thing that's keeping you from being a total failure. Sure, you need to alter your mindset, and people around you may contradict your moves to get back up and pick up the pieces, but guess what? You have to do it. Why waste such a beautiful life just because of a few naysayers? Nobody can help you back on your feet but yourself. After all, it is you life. So how do you do it?
First, try to get up despite how difficult it is. Try writing a journal about how you intend to fight back. Establish a goal for yourself. It does not have to be some long-term and seemingly unreachable goal. Try achieving a little at a time, because if you dream to big right after failure, it's very easy to be discouraged once you realize that you have unrealistic goals. Bask in the glory of each fulfilled goal - no matter how small it is. Did you lose all your savings because of a failed business venture? Then get a job and earn money the hard way once again. This is no time to be proud. Yes, you were once the boss, but you aren't one now.
As soon as you realize that you have to work from the bottom up once again, then you will be surprised with how fast you will get back on track. You will meet new people who have little or no inkling as to who you used to be, yet they will still respect you. Sometimes, all it takes is to uproot yourself and start anew somewhere where there are no people who will remind you of your past failures.
Next, make a list of all the bad things people have led you to believe, and study each one. Think hard about why people came up with those conclusions about you. There should be an underlying reason for every little thing that has trampled on your self-belief. Once you recognize the reason for each fallback, then you will also realize the ways you can avoid it in the future. You may find that most of the things you wrote that have prevented you from being your best are untrue - or all a product of your own insecure mind. Strike out from you list all these false fears. You can end up with just one or two things on your list that you need to do something about.
You must learn to accept that when we are feeling down and out, we imagine all sorts of excuses to not be who we should be. In other words, our negative mindset might be our own worst enemy.
Last, pounce on every opportunity that will help you get back on your feet. Many unsuccessful people are so because they let all the good chances stare them in the face - and they let it go. It may be our pride, or our own disbelief in our self that caused us to miss every chance we were given.
And if you were lucky enough to jump on the speedy train when it dashed by you, believe that you can survive. Believe that you can regain your pride and self-esteem. Everyone deserves a second chance, but not everyone will take it. So, will you?
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Michael Griffiths is the CEO and Founder of Secrets Of A Super Life, providing individuals with personal development strategies to increase their purpose, passion, happiness and life fulfilment. For your free life success pack please visit http://www.mysuperlifetoday.com
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