You have had a terrific night and you're out socialising with some buddies, all of a sudden you get the feared tummy rumbles and a sense of bloating, and you simply understand it's going to be a real stinker and no-one is going to be prepared for your next, 'what-a-bummer' outrageous adventure. Even for today's sophisticated modern-day urban man on his 'journey of discovery' of life, this outrageous adventure is building up to a point where you will make the Mount St Helena volcanic eruption appear like a non-event ...
OUTRAGEOUS ADVENTURE #1
The most vital thing is not to bring attention to yourself. Yeah, I understand, that's about as natural for today's cool modern urban man as it is for an unpredictable procrastinator who only knows the best way to stop when the going gets challenging. 'Bottom' line, it's a typical body function and it's going to take place whether you like it or not. Besides, today's contemporary guy enjoys the smell of his own blow offs - has a genuine sense of 'guy's business' to it.
If you can't hold it in any longer, laugh with plenty of gusto as you press out your fart. Brief bursts are better than one long trumpet blow. Bear in mind that if you are near a huge window in a dining establishment, you must understand that the heat from your stink-bomb fart will shatter the window. Such is the power of the everyday elite modern-day guy 'super' <a href="http://www.survivenaturalmanmadedisasters.com/action-heroes-survival-guide/">Action Hero</a>.
If you are standing and there is a pressing need for you to pass wind, try and find a really loud crowd. Clamp the cheeks of your bum together and move rapidly in the direction of the noise, when you are there don't move until the fart has finally blown itself out. As you wait for your 'stinker' to fizzle out, take part in the chat - while they're still standing.
Loud farting in a quiet place and a stink-bomb blow off that pongs out everything within a 3 km (1.5 ml) radius will be devastating for your social standing, particularly amongst your modern guy equals. If it happens there is just one thing you can do, look really hard at any unsuspecting and gullible procrastinator that may be standing nearby and shake your head as you move quickly far away from him. Today's self-motivated ultramodern guy knows exactly how to get away with anything and still look laid-back.
Keep in mind, that a real stink-bomb of a fart can have serious repercussions. Apparently one contemporary urban man had to stop farting due to the fact that he was losing his pals. Not that they didn't want to be his close friends... the smell of his farts simply killed them.
This plainly shows that for today's real genuine urban guy - the ultimate survivor - when it comes to making an enduring and powerful aromatic impression, "You have in fact got what it takes; "don't doubt it for a moment.
If you are taking a seat and the need to blow off is making your eyes protrude, lean slightly to the side and pretend you are looking at something that has in fact caught your eye. Once you have a sufficient sideways lean that enables the free flow of your fart let it slip out in short, smelly and satisfying bursts.
Keep in mind too, that the softer the chair and the larger your modern urban man bum, will all unite to help quieten your fart. Much better yet, if you have a good size rear-end, the fart kind of forms a bubble that will get stuck up in the cheeks of your bum. Then it's just a matter of understanding how to carry your stench-bomb into a neutral zone that will quickly become a, 'quiet-and-smelly-is-the-new-beautiful' fart area, and then launch it at your leisure. This is the supreme extravagance for today's authentic modern-day bloke - the 'ultimate' survivor, in smart, social fart disposal.
Now you have another 'smell-the-roses' outrageous experience to include your "Modern Man's Journey Of Discovery Survival Guide Handbook".
Lastly, once you have learnt the different release strategies of satisfying fart dumping, you will have a significant and unwavering knowledge that despite the next outrageous experience in your life's 'journey of discovery', you can survive it - even a genuine <a href="http://www.survivenaturalmanmadedisasters.com">scary disaster or emergency situations</a> like a devastating tsunami or a potentially hazardous and catastrophic engine failure in a passenger plane, and like an unexpected 'explosive' fart that erupts with the quickness of an indifferent procrastinator leaving a 'Motivation and Self-Improvement' workshop ... it can happen with little or no warning.
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