Thursday, September 4, 2014

Don't Let Your Mind Run Over

There is an old tale about a Zen student who went to see his master in order to seek further knowledge. Eager to impress his teacher, he arrived at the man's doorstep with a skip in his step. Upon seeing his student, the Master gave a wide smile and eagerly invited his protégé in.

As they sat in the room talking to one another, the Zen Master asked his student to go fetch him two cups and a pot of tea. The student returned, placing the items on the table.

The Master listened as his apprentice boasted about all he had learned. While the student talked, the older man began carefully pouring his young apprentice a cup of tea. The cup, filled to the brim, yet the master kept pouring, even as the tea began gushing over the top and spilling down on the table.

"Stop!? the apprentice shouted. Do you not see that the cup is completely full? It won't hold any more tea." At this the wise Teacher smiled and answered, "It is like this with you. Your mind is also full of too many things. Only if you empty it will there be room for new knowledge to come in."

The point of this story is not to suggest that knowledge itself is a problem. It's meant to warn us about how easy it is for our current beliefs and assumptions to crowd out further knowledge, thereby limiting our capacity to see things in a more well-rounded way. When a person's head is full of its own accumulated wisdom, it tends to become possessive and protective of what it assumes to be true, which prevents new information from coming in. An arrogant mind that is packed too full of learned assumptions is like a teacup that has been filled to the top with cement.

When your mind is full of it's own ideas . . .

A mind that is too full of what it already assumes to know does more than just leave its owner woefully lacking in wisdom. It can create a lot of problems in our lives. For example . . .

A) Flexibility in thinking consistently shows up as a major factor in resilience, perhaps even the most important factor when it comes to overcoming difficult events in life. The ability to adopt new perspectives allows us to weather the storm like a young tree that can bend and sway in the wind, whereas a closed mind is like a rigid branch that won't bend, and instead snaps under pressure.

B) A lot of the stress and mental anguish we endure in life is born into existence through our rigid assumptions which lead us to interpret things in a narrow self-defeating way.

Certain experiences are inherently painful. None of us like to feel helpless or suffer a lack of control, and we all get upset over violence, conflict, ridicule, and other negative actions directed toward us. Yet most of the lingering pain we endure come about because our mind is too full of negative assumptions about WHAT CERTAIN EXPERIENCES SHOULD MEAN. Clearing our mind of this extra baggage will give us a more flexible cup that is better equipped to tolerate the stresses of life.

C) Maintaining a flexible mind that makes room for other perspectives will also help your social life. This is because most conflicts arise from stubborn thinking. We're too busy clinging to our repertoire of current knowledge about 'how things should be' that we're unwilling to open our mind to new ways of looking at things.

So the more rigid a person's thoughts, the more conflict they'll experience with the world at large. Not only will they get into more arguments with other people, but they'll also be subject to more inner turmoil, because the outside world will never conform to the inflexible ideology that exists inside their head.

How flexible is your cup?

Realizing that the knowledge we possess WILL ALWAYS BE INCOMPLETE is the psychological equivalent of advancing to a larger cup. To that end, please remember this story and take its lesson with you as you go about your own life. It's a lovely thing to possess a mind that is continually churning . . . turning over the old to make a place for the new.

It might be prudent to remind yourself that it's often the beliefs we've held the longest that will grow stale and are in the most need of being replaced. It is often those occasions when we're sure of ourselves that we are in the utmost need of a fresh cup of tea.


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Be sure to visit our website www.keepyourchildsafe.org/ for a variety of resources including safety coloring pictures to help keep your family safe, including understanding our moods and emotionsat http://www.keepyourchildsafe.org/psychology/moods-and-emotions.html and how they affect our thinking. You can also follow us on Twitter @GCFparents.

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