Anyone who has had the pleasure of receiving a full body massage would agree that <a href="http://www.myspashop.com/passions/spa-menu.html?world=passions">massage therapy</a> is one of life's most delicious experiences. And since it is said that giving is better than receiving, here's a little guidance on how you can deliver the delights of a good rub. Even without the help of an anatomy book or class, giving a massage works every time. And the reason is simple, people love to be touched. "Feel good" factor aside, there are plenty of medical benefits to receiving a massage. Not only does it increase circulation, thereby allowing the body to pump more oxygen and nutrients into tissues and vital organs, it also stimulates the body's natural defenses and alleviates symptoms of depression and stress. If you follow these basic massage tips, you will realize the benefits of home spa wellness solutions.
If you have a massage table, great, else you can start with a firm mattress covered with a massage towel. This will work nicely along with lighting a few aromatherapy candlesand choose some calming spa music. Next have your partner remove his or her clothing, jewelry and contact lenses, then ask them to slip between the sheets or blankets.
Inexpensive <a href="http://www.myspashop.com/shopping.html?world=shopping">home spa products</a> can be leveraged to complete the massage treatments. Applying essential oils in massage therapy relieves stress and anxiety, increases lymph production, detoxifies, and soothes sore muscles. Start by pouring the massage oil into your palm to warm the oil, then proceed with massage.
There are many different types of massage techniques to choose from, which includes the following: kneading, deep friction, skin rolling, compression and more. Since kneading is the centerpiece of a full-body massage, we will cover this technique in more detail. The kneading technique requires you to uncover and gently grasp an area of the body that can include: shoulders, back, calves, thighs or fleshy area over the hip. Use both hands and knead the skin as though kneading dough. Keep your strokes smooth and rhythmic.
Keeping your partner warm during the massage is important as it keeps the muscles relaxed. Make sure the room stays warm and keep a few blankets nearby. An electric blanket or heating pad is a welcome touch. Following the massage, have your partner relax for about 20 minutes while keeping warm. Body fluids should be replenished by offering your partner some drinking water or a cup of herbal tea. Enjoy your new found bliss by giving and receiving massage treatments.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Dealing With Pornography Addiction
Pornography addiction is an increasing problem, one that is receiving growing attention in the media. It is an issue that is bringing more and more people to our therapy clinics here in the UK.
The Internet places pornography at the tip of our fingers. With the click of a mouse anyone can access all manner of porn.
What happens when looking at online pornography gets out of control? At what point does it become an addiction? How can someone struggling with a pornography addiction get the help they need?
Pornography addiction is not yet recognized by the American Psychological Association as a mental disorder (as many other addictions are), but this does not mean that the problem doesn't exist.
The criteria for identifying pornography addiction is very similar to other addictions. Does reading, watching, thinking about, and/or viewing pornography interfere with a person's work, personal life, relationships, social interactions or family life? If this question is answered in the affirmative, then the person may well have a pornography addiction.
What are some of the main things that make porn addiction a greater problem than in the past?
Accessibility
It's easier than ever before to view pornography. Before the advent of Internet porn, a person had to actually enter an adult video store, or buy an adult magazine in a shop. Now, with a quick Internet search, anyone can have practically instant access to almost unlimited, free porn in the privacy of their own home.
Early Exposure
A recent study reported that 42% of children have been exposed to pornography on the Internet before the age of 18. In times passed, access to porn was more difficult, but with the advent of the Internet, children have a far greater probability of being exposed to it from an early age.
Tolerance
Some experts believe that tolerance to pornography is built up in a similar manner to alcohol and other substances. The more porn the addict consumes, the more they require in order to get the same degree of satisfaction. The Internet offers an unlimited supply of content with around 420 million different pornography websites available.
How can someone struggling with a pornography addiction get the help they need?
As pornography addiction becomes more common and receives more attention, our understanding of it grows. As our understanding improves, so does our ability to successfully treat this issue.
The first step to recovery lies in ending the denial and recognizing that there is a problem and that the person is addicted. This accomplished, there are numerous effective ways to treat porn addiction.
There are a number of 12-Step programs, both on and offline that offer help with this addiction. Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous are two of the most popular. A person can also seek individual therapy and counseling, and hypnotherapy can be of enormous help in managing this addiction. Working with a professional who has experience in this area, the addict can learn to control their addiction and return to a freer way of life.
If you are experiencing an addiction to pornography, or know someone who might be, any of these therapeutic options can be helpful in conquering it.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a U.K. based counselor and a hypnotherapist with clinics in London and Birmingham. He is Fellow of the Royal Society of Health, Member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, and Member of the National Guild of Hypnotists. For 1-2-1 sessions please visit http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk Peter's self hypnosis recordings are now available at: http://www.hypnosiscdmp3downloads.com
The Internet places pornography at the tip of our fingers. With the click of a mouse anyone can access all manner of porn.
What happens when looking at online pornography gets out of control? At what point does it become an addiction? How can someone struggling with a pornography addiction get the help they need?
Pornography addiction is not yet recognized by the American Psychological Association as a mental disorder (as many other addictions are), but this does not mean that the problem doesn't exist.
The criteria for identifying pornography addiction is very similar to other addictions. Does reading, watching, thinking about, and/or viewing pornography interfere with a person's work, personal life, relationships, social interactions or family life? If this question is answered in the affirmative, then the person may well have a pornography addiction.
What are some of the main things that make porn addiction a greater problem than in the past?
Accessibility
It's easier than ever before to view pornography. Before the advent of Internet porn, a person had to actually enter an adult video store, or buy an adult magazine in a shop. Now, with a quick Internet search, anyone can have practically instant access to almost unlimited, free porn in the privacy of their own home.
Early Exposure
A recent study reported that 42% of children have been exposed to pornography on the Internet before the age of 18. In times passed, access to porn was more difficult, but with the advent of the Internet, children have a far greater probability of being exposed to it from an early age.
Tolerance
Some experts believe that tolerance to pornography is built up in a similar manner to alcohol and other substances. The more porn the addict consumes, the more they require in order to get the same degree of satisfaction. The Internet offers an unlimited supply of content with around 420 million different pornography websites available.
How can someone struggling with a pornography addiction get the help they need?
As pornography addiction becomes more common and receives more attention, our understanding of it grows. As our understanding improves, so does our ability to successfully treat this issue.
The first step to recovery lies in ending the denial and recognizing that there is a problem and that the person is addicted. This accomplished, there are numerous effective ways to treat porn addiction.
There are a number of 12-Step programs, both on and offline that offer help with this addiction. Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous are two of the most popular. A person can also seek individual therapy and counseling, and hypnotherapy can be of enormous help in managing this addiction. Working with a professional who has experience in this area, the addict can learn to control their addiction and return to a freer way of life.
If you are experiencing an addiction to pornography, or know someone who might be, any of these therapeutic options can be helpful in conquering it.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a U.K. based counselor and a hypnotherapist with clinics in London and Birmingham. He is Fellow of the Royal Society of Health, Member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, and Member of the National Guild of Hypnotists. For 1-2-1 sessions please visit http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk Peter's self hypnosis recordings are now available at: http://www.hypnosiscdmp3downloads.com
Monday, September 22, 2014
Reasons for Seeking Marriage Counselors
Many couples believe that marriage counseling should only come when relationships are about to fall apart. This is actually a mistaken notion. Counselors can be sources of strength and inspiration for spouses. Mentors cannot perform miracles or save marriages. However, these advisers can help problematic partners to resolve differences. When is the right time to ask the help of a marriage counselor?
It may be necessary to seek professional advice if communications between couples have floundered. This happens when husband and wife refuse to talk to each other. Negative interaction can result to depression, serious quarrels, abuse, and separation. Someone who has experience with such problems should come in. The counselor can guide partners to settle squabbles. The best time to get a third party for mediation is when quarrels begin to get out of control.
Coaches can also help if one of the partners starts acting out on pessimistic feelings. These are not healthy for relationships. Adverse emotions and thoughts like bitterness can lead to upsetting or even injurious behavior. For instance, if a wife is offended by the husband's wrongdoing may still cling on to a shaky relationship. Yet, this can bond be fruitless since the trust and sincerity deteriorates and eventually gets lost.
Counselors should also come in if there are quarrels regarding money matters and each one starts to become dishonest when it comes to financial issues. Upsetting situations can happen such as the death of a child, loss of employment, serious illness, or illicit affair of one of the spouses. Again, the counselor's advice is valuable.
Many couples look up to marriage counseling as beneficial especially for those going through problems in their relationships. The objective is to keep relationships from becoming unpleasant. It can even make the bond stronger for many years to come. Professional advice prior to any formal union identifies the spouses' strong points and weaknesses. It proposes to help you enhance awareness regarding benefits of the bond with your partner.
One major benefit of counseling is to manifest your commitment in contributing to the success of your marriage. This provides a medium for developing strategies and back-up plans so you can cope with any crisis and look forward to more satisfaction in the matrimony. You can work in enriching your lives as a couple. It recommends different ways to bring shared benefits to the relationship and prepare you to be a contented husband or wife.
----------------------------------------------------
If you are looking for psychological services for your problems, visit VCPS to compassionate counselling and psychological services by clicking on the links below:
http://clinicalpsychologistsmelbourne.wordpress.com/2014/04/15/131/ http://relationshipcounsellingmelbourne.jigsy.com/entries/general/tips-to-remember-when-talking-to-your-teenage-child
It may be necessary to seek professional advice if communications between couples have floundered. This happens when husband and wife refuse to talk to each other. Negative interaction can result to depression, serious quarrels, abuse, and separation. Someone who has experience with such problems should come in. The counselor can guide partners to settle squabbles. The best time to get a third party for mediation is when quarrels begin to get out of control.
Coaches can also help if one of the partners starts acting out on pessimistic feelings. These are not healthy for relationships. Adverse emotions and thoughts like bitterness can lead to upsetting or even injurious behavior. For instance, if a wife is offended by the husband's wrongdoing may still cling on to a shaky relationship. Yet, this can bond be fruitless since the trust and sincerity deteriorates and eventually gets lost.
Counselors should also come in if there are quarrels regarding money matters and each one starts to become dishonest when it comes to financial issues. Upsetting situations can happen such as the death of a child, loss of employment, serious illness, or illicit affair of one of the spouses. Again, the counselor's advice is valuable.
Many couples look up to marriage counseling as beneficial especially for those going through problems in their relationships. The objective is to keep relationships from becoming unpleasant. It can even make the bond stronger for many years to come. Professional advice prior to any formal union identifies the spouses' strong points and weaknesses. It proposes to help you enhance awareness regarding benefits of the bond with your partner.
One major benefit of counseling is to manifest your commitment in contributing to the success of your marriage. This provides a medium for developing strategies and back-up plans so you can cope with any crisis and look forward to more satisfaction in the matrimony. You can work in enriching your lives as a couple. It recommends different ways to bring shared benefits to the relationship and prepare you to be a contented husband or wife.
----------------------------------------------------
If you are looking for psychological services for your problems, visit VCPS to compassionate counselling and psychological services by clicking on the links below:
http://clinicalpsychologistsmelbourne.wordpress.com/2014/04/15/131/ http://relationshipcounsellingmelbourne.jigsy.com/entries/general/tips-to-remember-when-talking-to-your-teenage-child
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Don't Let Criticism Stop You From Reaching Your Dreams
It's been said that if you're not receiving criticism, then you're not really trying very hard. Criticism will come in different forms and from various directions. There are two ways to handle criticism: you can let it distract you or you deal with it and move on. Let's take a look at how to deal with criticism in a positive way.
Take a deep breath and alter your perspective.
We know that's it's very easy to get defensive and to automatically feel like you're being attacked when faced with criticism. If you adjust your outlook when receiving this negative feedback, it will be easier to hear what the person is actually saying.
Step Two: Take time to evaluate and judge the criticism.
If you're in the middle of a project or job that requires your full attention, you will want to develop the ability to set the criticism and how you react to it aside until you're able to think clearly about it and without much feeling. When you are able to give the criticism space in your thoughts, make an effort to divide your emotional reaction from your logical one. Often times, <a href="http://1693373j-8rriqd-qqpgqc1wfd.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=SUBART">criticism</a> does have validity. Certainly no one is perfect and even if you're think you're close, I'm sure there's probably room for improvement.
Step Three: Be aware of your thoughts.
For the most part, we are great as emotional beings at letting our thoughts takeover. After you receive criticism, it's very easy to become affected by negative emotions. We may feel angry with the person criticizing us and disappointed that our efforts weren't received better. Our self-esteem can take a hit and we may even feel as if our goals and dreams are never going to be reached.
Being the emotional beings we are, we also have control over our thoughts. The main thing is to become conscious of them first, acknowledge the thoughts you're having and change them. You can decide to put your attention on the positive. Decide that yes your dreams and goals are worth achieving and when you receive that criticism, don't let it devastate your day. I wouldn't even let it ruin the moment.
Lastly, take that criticism and place it where it belongs.
If there is some truth to it, find out what it is that needs improving. If there is some doubt about the validity of the criticism, then by all means, get a second or third opinion. Do this only if the criticism is important. If it is way off base, toss it in the garbage along with the rest of the trash and move on.
When you <a href="http://5ce7bfretmnx9-10hbigxybz1y.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=SUBART">receive criticism</a>, it means you're taking some sort of action. You're doing something bold, beneficial, and challenging. Good for you, that's always a good thing!
Take a deep breath and alter your perspective.
We know that's it's very easy to get defensive and to automatically feel like you're being attacked when faced with criticism. If you adjust your outlook when receiving this negative feedback, it will be easier to hear what the person is actually saying.
Step Two: Take time to evaluate and judge the criticism.
If you're in the middle of a project or job that requires your full attention, you will want to develop the ability to set the criticism and how you react to it aside until you're able to think clearly about it and without much feeling. When you are able to give the criticism space in your thoughts, make an effort to divide your emotional reaction from your logical one. Often times, <a href="http://1693373j-8rriqd-qqpgqc1wfd.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=SUBART">criticism</a> does have validity. Certainly no one is perfect and even if you're think you're close, I'm sure there's probably room for improvement.
Step Three: Be aware of your thoughts.
For the most part, we are great as emotional beings at letting our thoughts takeover. After you receive criticism, it's very easy to become affected by negative emotions. We may feel angry with the person criticizing us and disappointed that our efforts weren't received better. Our self-esteem can take a hit and we may even feel as if our goals and dreams are never going to be reached.
Being the emotional beings we are, we also have control over our thoughts. The main thing is to become conscious of them first, acknowledge the thoughts you're having and change them. You can decide to put your attention on the positive. Decide that yes your dreams and goals are worth achieving and when you receive that criticism, don't let it devastate your day. I wouldn't even let it ruin the moment.
Lastly, take that criticism and place it where it belongs.
If there is some truth to it, find out what it is that needs improving. If there is some doubt about the validity of the criticism, then by all means, get a second or third opinion. Do this only if the criticism is important. If it is way off base, toss it in the garbage along with the rest of the trash and move on.
When you <a href="http://5ce7bfretmnx9-10hbigxybz1y.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=SUBART">receive criticism</a>, it means you're taking some sort of action. You're doing something bold, beneficial, and challenging. Good for you, that's always a good thing!
Monday, September 15, 2014
Ladybug's Sign
Copyright (c) 2014 Joe Vitale
The other day my Subliminal Manifestation partner Mark Ryan and my Inspired Marketing coauthor Craig Perrine got to experience the exhilaration of a ride in Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)'s rare 1998 Panoz AIV Roadster, which I now own and call Ladybug.
They also got to drive the car.
They were like little kids experiencing their first roller coaster thrill ride.
But the really interesting experience took place after we were done driving and drooling and stood around the car, admiring her.
Craig noticed that a ladybug landed on the car.
When I first received the car a few months ago, and wondered what to name it, a ladybug landed on it.
I rarely see ladybugs here in Texas. I'm sure they're here; I just don't look for them. Seeing one land on Steven Tyler's car seemed telling. So I named the Roadster "Ladybug" right then and there.
Craig and Mark took turns trying to take a clear picture of the bug on my Ladybug. (That's Craig above.) They both knew it would be great blog material. :)
Synchronicities like these are how I learn I'm on the right path. They are green flags.
Whenever I have a decision to make, I look for signs that I'm making the right one. "Right" meaning appropriate for me, not necessarily for you or anyone else.
I've written about signs and green/red flags before, of course. In The Attractor Factor I told the story of seeing a street sign that helped me decide what to do when I worked at a job I disliked.
The road sign was "Quitman."
My mind read it as a command: "Quit man" as in "Quit the job, man!"
Here's an example from today:
I heard comedian Steve Martin just published a new book, his autobiography, titled Born Standing Up. I like Martin and was curious about the book, but I didn't run out and buy it.
But then I saw a review of it in a magic magazine.
And then another review in another magazine.
And then someone sent me an Amazon gift certificate.
I bought the book, and something curious happened.
Amazon sent it to me overnight - and they sent two copies.
I guess I'm supposed to read it twice.
Turns out the book is riveting. It shows how much hard work goes into creating an "overnight" success.
But that's not the point of this blog post.
The point is to watch for the "ladybugs" in your life.
Try this: When you are considering getting a gift for someone for the holiday next week, see if there are signs that resonate with you suggesting what to get or affirming a choice you already made.
This is a fun way to enjoy each moment, as the signs remind you that you are one with all there is.
Enjoy.
PS - If you celebrate Christmas, please have a merry one. And if you don't, please have a merry one anyway.
Note: I have no idea what kind of ladybug landed on my car. Coccinellids are found worldwide, with over 5,000 species and more than 450 native to North America alone. Who knows what kind Texas has. So don't ask. :)
----------------------------------------------------
Dr. Joe Vitale is the star of the hit movie, "The Secret." He is also the author of way too many bestselling books to mention here. To name a few: The Attractor Factor, Zero Limits and his latest, Attract Money Now. He's also recorded many Nightingale Conant audio programs, and most recently, "The Abundance Paradigm." He also created a Miracles Coaching program and much more! For more information on Joe Vitale, go to: http://www.mrfire.com
The other day my Subliminal Manifestation partner Mark Ryan and my Inspired Marketing coauthor Craig Perrine got to experience the exhilaration of a ride in Steven Tyler (Aerosmith)'s rare 1998 Panoz AIV Roadster, which I now own and call Ladybug.
They also got to drive the car.
They were like little kids experiencing their first roller coaster thrill ride.
But the really interesting experience took place after we were done driving and drooling and stood around the car, admiring her.
Craig noticed that a ladybug landed on the car.
When I first received the car a few months ago, and wondered what to name it, a ladybug landed on it.
I rarely see ladybugs here in Texas. I'm sure they're here; I just don't look for them. Seeing one land on Steven Tyler's car seemed telling. So I named the Roadster "Ladybug" right then and there.
Craig and Mark took turns trying to take a clear picture of the bug on my Ladybug. (That's Craig above.) They both knew it would be great blog material. :)
Synchronicities like these are how I learn I'm on the right path. They are green flags.
Whenever I have a decision to make, I look for signs that I'm making the right one. "Right" meaning appropriate for me, not necessarily for you or anyone else.
I've written about signs and green/red flags before, of course. In The Attractor Factor I told the story of seeing a street sign that helped me decide what to do when I worked at a job I disliked.
The road sign was "Quitman."
My mind read it as a command: "Quit man" as in "Quit the job, man!"
Here's an example from today:
I heard comedian Steve Martin just published a new book, his autobiography, titled Born Standing Up. I like Martin and was curious about the book, but I didn't run out and buy it.
But then I saw a review of it in a magic magazine.
And then another review in another magazine.
And then someone sent me an Amazon gift certificate.
I bought the book, and something curious happened.
Amazon sent it to me overnight - and they sent two copies.
I guess I'm supposed to read it twice.
Turns out the book is riveting. It shows how much hard work goes into creating an "overnight" success.
But that's not the point of this blog post.
The point is to watch for the "ladybugs" in your life.
Try this: When you are considering getting a gift for someone for the holiday next week, see if there are signs that resonate with you suggesting what to get or affirming a choice you already made.
This is a fun way to enjoy each moment, as the signs remind you that you are one with all there is.
Enjoy.
PS - If you celebrate Christmas, please have a merry one. And if you don't, please have a merry one anyway.
Note: I have no idea what kind of ladybug landed on my car. Coccinellids are found worldwide, with over 5,000 species and more than 450 native to North America alone. Who knows what kind Texas has. So don't ask. :)
----------------------------------------------------
Dr. Joe Vitale is the star of the hit movie, "The Secret." He is also the author of way too many bestselling books to mention here. To name a few: The Attractor Factor, Zero Limits and his latest, Attract Money Now. He's also recorded many Nightingale Conant audio programs, and most recently, "The Abundance Paradigm." He also created a Miracles Coaching program and much more! For more information on Joe Vitale, go to: http://www.mrfire.com
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Don't Let Your Mind Run Over
There is an old tale about a Zen student who went to see his master in order to seek further knowledge. Eager to impress his teacher, he arrived at the man's doorstep with a skip in his step. Upon seeing his student, the Master gave a wide smile and eagerly invited his protégé in.
As they sat in the room talking to one another, the Zen Master asked his student to go fetch him two cups and a pot of tea. The student returned, placing the items on the table.
The Master listened as his apprentice boasted about all he had learned. While the student talked, the older man began carefully pouring his young apprentice a cup of tea. The cup, filled to the brim, yet the master kept pouring, even as the tea began gushing over the top and spilling down on the table.
"Stop!? the apprentice shouted. Do you not see that the cup is completely full? It won't hold any more tea." At this the wise Teacher smiled and answered, "It is like this with you. Your mind is also full of too many things. Only if you empty it will there be room for new knowledge to come in."
The point of this story is not to suggest that knowledge itself is a problem. It's meant to warn us about how easy it is for our current beliefs and assumptions to crowd out further knowledge, thereby limiting our capacity to see things in a more well-rounded way. When a person's head is full of its own accumulated wisdom, it tends to become possessive and protective of what it assumes to be true, which prevents new information from coming in. An arrogant mind that is packed too full of learned assumptions is like a teacup that has been filled to the top with cement.
When your mind is full of it's own ideas . . .
A mind that is too full of what it already assumes to know does more than just leave its owner woefully lacking in wisdom. It can create a lot of problems in our lives. For example . . .
A) Flexibility in thinking consistently shows up as a major factor in resilience, perhaps even the most important factor when it comes to overcoming difficult events in life. The ability to adopt new perspectives allows us to weather the storm like a young tree that can bend and sway in the wind, whereas a closed mind is like a rigid branch that won't bend, and instead snaps under pressure.
B) A lot of the stress and mental anguish we endure in life is born into existence through our rigid assumptions which lead us to interpret things in a narrow self-defeating way.
Certain experiences are inherently painful. None of us like to feel helpless or suffer a lack of control, and we all get upset over violence, conflict, ridicule, and other negative actions directed toward us. Yet most of the lingering pain we endure come about because our mind is too full of negative assumptions about WHAT CERTAIN EXPERIENCES SHOULD MEAN. Clearing our mind of this extra baggage will give us a more flexible cup that is better equipped to tolerate the stresses of life.
C) Maintaining a flexible mind that makes room for other perspectives will also help your social life. This is because most conflicts arise from stubborn thinking. We're too busy clinging to our repertoire of current knowledge about 'how things should be' that we're unwilling to open our mind to new ways of looking at things.
So the more rigid a person's thoughts, the more conflict they'll experience with the world at large. Not only will they get into more arguments with other people, but they'll also be subject to more inner turmoil, because the outside world will never conform to the inflexible ideology that exists inside their head.
How flexible is your cup?
Realizing that the knowledge we possess WILL ALWAYS BE INCOMPLETE is the psychological equivalent of advancing to a larger cup. To that end, please remember this story and take its lesson with you as you go about your own life. It's a lovely thing to possess a mind that is continually churning . . . turning over the old to make a place for the new.
It might be prudent to remind yourself that it's often the beliefs we've held the longest that will grow stale and are in the most need of being replaced. It is often those occasions when we're sure of ourselves that we are in the utmost need of a fresh cup of tea.
----------------------------------------------------
Be sure to visit our website www.keepyourchildsafe.org/ for a variety of resources including safety coloring pictures to help keep your family safe, including understanding our moods and emotionsat http://www.keepyourchildsafe.org/psychology/moods-and-emotions.html and how they affect our thinking. You can also follow us on Twitter @GCFparents.
As they sat in the room talking to one another, the Zen Master asked his student to go fetch him two cups and a pot of tea. The student returned, placing the items on the table.
The Master listened as his apprentice boasted about all he had learned. While the student talked, the older man began carefully pouring his young apprentice a cup of tea. The cup, filled to the brim, yet the master kept pouring, even as the tea began gushing over the top and spilling down on the table.
"Stop!? the apprentice shouted. Do you not see that the cup is completely full? It won't hold any more tea." At this the wise Teacher smiled and answered, "It is like this with you. Your mind is also full of too many things. Only if you empty it will there be room for new knowledge to come in."
The point of this story is not to suggest that knowledge itself is a problem. It's meant to warn us about how easy it is for our current beliefs and assumptions to crowd out further knowledge, thereby limiting our capacity to see things in a more well-rounded way. When a person's head is full of its own accumulated wisdom, it tends to become possessive and protective of what it assumes to be true, which prevents new information from coming in. An arrogant mind that is packed too full of learned assumptions is like a teacup that has been filled to the top with cement.
When your mind is full of it's own ideas . . .
A mind that is too full of what it already assumes to know does more than just leave its owner woefully lacking in wisdom. It can create a lot of problems in our lives. For example . . .
A) Flexibility in thinking consistently shows up as a major factor in resilience, perhaps even the most important factor when it comes to overcoming difficult events in life. The ability to adopt new perspectives allows us to weather the storm like a young tree that can bend and sway in the wind, whereas a closed mind is like a rigid branch that won't bend, and instead snaps under pressure.
B) A lot of the stress and mental anguish we endure in life is born into existence through our rigid assumptions which lead us to interpret things in a narrow self-defeating way.
Certain experiences are inherently painful. None of us like to feel helpless or suffer a lack of control, and we all get upset over violence, conflict, ridicule, and other negative actions directed toward us. Yet most of the lingering pain we endure come about because our mind is too full of negative assumptions about WHAT CERTAIN EXPERIENCES SHOULD MEAN. Clearing our mind of this extra baggage will give us a more flexible cup that is better equipped to tolerate the stresses of life.
C) Maintaining a flexible mind that makes room for other perspectives will also help your social life. This is because most conflicts arise from stubborn thinking. We're too busy clinging to our repertoire of current knowledge about 'how things should be' that we're unwilling to open our mind to new ways of looking at things.
So the more rigid a person's thoughts, the more conflict they'll experience with the world at large. Not only will they get into more arguments with other people, but they'll also be subject to more inner turmoil, because the outside world will never conform to the inflexible ideology that exists inside their head.
How flexible is your cup?
Realizing that the knowledge we possess WILL ALWAYS BE INCOMPLETE is the psychological equivalent of advancing to a larger cup. To that end, please remember this story and take its lesson with you as you go about your own life. It's a lovely thing to possess a mind that is continually churning . . . turning over the old to make a place for the new.
It might be prudent to remind yourself that it's often the beliefs we've held the longest that will grow stale and are in the most need of being replaced. It is often those occasions when we're sure of ourselves that we are in the utmost need of a fresh cup of tea.
----------------------------------------------------
Be sure to visit our website www.keepyourchildsafe.org/ for a variety of resources including safety coloring pictures to help keep your family safe, including understanding our moods and emotionsat http://www.keepyourchildsafe.org/psychology/moods-and-emotions.html and how they affect our thinking. You can also follow us on Twitter @GCFparents.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Why I Gave Up Intentions
Copyright (c) 2014 Joe Vitale
I spent last Saturday with a small group of wonderful people from all over the world who just completed my year long Miracles Coaching Certification Program.
The day was upbeat and buzzing with energy.
But at lunch one person asked me a question that may be on your mind, too.
"In the movie The Secret and in your book The Attractor Factor you said you believe in intentions, but in your book Zero Limits you say you no longer believe in them. What do you do now?"
I can see where that could confuse people.
In my new Nightingale-Conant audio program, The Missing Secret, I explain my approach to life in a way that clears the air. I'll try to recap it here:
Today I realize that most intentions are limitations.
Intentions come from your ego and can actually limit what is possible for you to receive.
Intentions are wonderful when you are first awakening to your own power. It's thrilling to set goals and achieve them. But there's an easier, better, more magical and even miraculous way to go through life.
I explain this in Zero Limits, where I say there are three stages of awakening.
STAGE ONE:
In the first stage you are a victim. We're all born into it and most of us stay there. With coaching or the right books or the right movies, you one day break free.
STAGE TWO:
In the next stage you realize you have more power than you ever thought before. In this stage intentions are fun and exciting and useful. You aim your life where you want it to go. It's exhilarating to manifest things like new cars or a new house or anything else you can imagine.
But there's a stage after that.
STAGE THREE:
In the third stage you realize you have choice but you don't have control. You realize you don't have all power. This is where you surrender. This is where you can receive inspiration from something greater than your ego awareness.
I was filmed for two more movies last week. One of them is all about letting go to inspiration.
For me, I want inspiration.
When it comes, that becomes my new intention.
But the intention comes from inspiration, not from limitation.
The intention comes from the Divine, not my pipsqueak ego.
In short, when I receive an inspiration to do something, it becomes my intention.
So I still believe in intentions, but not those of the ego, but those of the Divine.
Intentions are for wimps.
When I set an intention to do something like, say, write a book, I use my conscious will and my energy and get it done.
But when I allow an inspiration to become my new intention, and combine my energy with it, than I often create something astonishingly unexpected like, say, my own television show.
Inspiration might also direct me to write another book, of course, but the point is, inspiration will often surprise me with something bigger and bolder than I ever imagined before.
As P.T. Barnum said, "Not my will, but thine, be done."
When you follow inspiration, you get to say (like the Blues Brothers), "I'm on a mission from God."
How do you know an intention from an inspiration?
Usually by how it feels.
When I was on Donny Deutsch's CNBC television show The Big Idea last November*, I told him and his audience that the directive to do anything needs to come from your heart, or your gut, not your mind.
When you follow that, you follow your divine path.
It's different for each person, of course. You may be inspired to enroll in Miracles Coaching or Executive Mentoring to better understand my marketing and metaphysical methods; somebody else may not.
I still use coaches today, and think everyone needs to. We all have beliefs and limitations to release.
For example, inspiration nudged me into creating my own TV show, called Expect Miracles.
But my ego was resisting it.
It was stretching my self-image limits.
For that reason, I needed Miracles Coaching to help me get and stay clear. As long as I stay clear, miracles happen.
I'm now clear and ready for this TV show to be a mega-success.
And now the investors, actors, directors, editors and writers are coming to me.
Why? How?
Because I cleared the blocks within me, with the help of my coaches, to allow it all to happen.
Another thing I've learned and have said repeatedly is that "The Universe likes speed."
When you are inspired, act and act fast.
If you are inspired and don't act, it's a sign you have some clearing to do.
What do you feel inspired to do?
Do it.
NOW.
* You can see my fiery five-minute appearance on Donny Deutsch's TV show at http://one.revver.com/watch/491047 or www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTYWyVm6NiI
----------------------------------------------------
Dr. Joe Vitale is the star of the hit movie, "The Secret." He is also the author of way too many bestselling books to mention here. To name a few: The Attractor Factor, Zero Limits and his latest, Attract Money Now. He's also recorded many Nightingale Conant audio programs, and most recently, "The Abundance Paradigm." He also created a Miracles Coaching program and much more! For more information on Joe Vitale, go to: http://www.mrfire.com
I spent last Saturday with a small group of wonderful people from all over the world who just completed my year long Miracles Coaching Certification Program.
The day was upbeat and buzzing with energy.
But at lunch one person asked me a question that may be on your mind, too.
"In the movie The Secret and in your book The Attractor Factor you said you believe in intentions, but in your book Zero Limits you say you no longer believe in them. What do you do now?"
I can see where that could confuse people.
In my new Nightingale-Conant audio program, The Missing Secret, I explain my approach to life in a way that clears the air. I'll try to recap it here:
Today I realize that most intentions are limitations.
Intentions come from your ego and can actually limit what is possible for you to receive.
Intentions are wonderful when you are first awakening to your own power. It's thrilling to set goals and achieve them. But there's an easier, better, more magical and even miraculous way to go through life.
I explain this in Zero Limits, where I say there are three stages of awakening.
STAGE ONE:
In the first stage you are a victim. We're all born into it and most of us stay there. With coaching or the right books or the right movies, you one day break free.
STAGE TWO:
In the next stage you realize you have more power than you ever thought before. In this stage intentions are fun and exciting and useful. You aim your life where you want it to go. It's exhilarating to manifest things like new cars or a new house or anything else you can imagine.
But there's a stage after that.
STAGE THREE:
In the third stage you realize you have choice but you don't have control. You realize you don't have all power. This is where you surrender. This is where you can receive inspiration from something greater than your ego awareness.
I was filmed for two more movies last week. One of them is all about letting go to inspiration.
For me, I want inspiration.
When it comes, that becomes my new intention.
But the intention comes from inspiration, not from limitation.
The intention comes from the Divine, not my pipsqueak ego.
In short, when I receive an inspiration to do something, it becomes my intention.
So I still believe in intentions, but not those of the ego, but those of the Divine.
Intentions are for wimps.
When I set an intention to do something like, say, write a book, I use my conscious will and my energy and get it done.
But when I allow an inspiration to become my new intention, and combine my energy with it, than I often create something astonishingly unexpected like, say, my own television show.
Inspiration might also direct me to write another book, of course, but the point is, inspiration will often surprise me with something bigger and bolder than I ever imagined before.
As P.T. Barnum said, "Not my will, but thine, be done."
When you follow inspiration, you get to say (like the Blues Brothers), "I'm on a mission from God."
How do you know an intention from an inspiration?
Usually by how it feels.
When I was on Donny Deutsch's CNBC television show The Big Idea last November*, I told him and his audience that the directive to do anything needs to come from your heart, or your gut, not your mind.
When you follow that, you follow your divine path.
It's different for each person, of course. You may be inspired to enroll in Miracles Coaching or Executive Mentoring to better understand my marketing and metaphysical methods; somebody else may not.
I still use coaches today, and think everyone needs to. We all have beliefs and limitations to release.
For example, inspiration nudged me into creating my own TV show, called Expect Miracles.
But my ego was resisting it.
It was stretching my self-image limits.
For that reason, I needed Miracles Coaching to help me get and stay clear. As long as I stay clear, miracles happen.
I'm now clear and ready for this TV show to be a mega-success.
And now the investors, actors, directors, editors and writers are coming to me.
Why? How?
Because I cleared the blocks within me, with the help of my coaches, to allow it all to happen.
Another thing I've learned and have said repeatedly is that "The Universe likes speed."
When you are inspired, act and act fast.
If you are inspired and don't act, it's a sign you have some clearing to do.
What do you feel inspired to do?
Do it.
NOW.
* You can see my fiery five-minute appearance on Donny Deutsch's TV show at http://one.revver.com/watch/491047 or www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTYWyVm6NiI
----------------------------------------------------
Dr. Joe Vitale is the star of the hit movie, "The Secret." He is also the author of way too many bestselling books to mention here. To name a few: The Attractor Factor, Zero Limits and his latest, Attract Money Now. He's also recorded many Nightingale Conant audio programs, and most recently, "The Abundance Paradigm." He also created a Miracles Coaching program and much more! For more information on Joe Vitale, go to: http://www.mrfire.com
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