Copyright (c) 2014 Joe Vitale
When I drove Mandy Evans back to the airport, she asked me an interesting question:
"Have you always encouraged people?"
She had spent four days with me and observed me encouraging complete strangers to go for their dreams.
There was an author at a booth and I bought his book and advised him on how to market it.
There was a waitress struggling to get to all her tables and I tipped her more than the bill to encourage her to have a great day.
There was the newbie restaurant owners that I encouraged by designing and distributing an insert ad to tell the locals about their great food.
There was of course Diane Watson, who is now The Property Hugger.
So Mandy wanted to know if I was always encouraging of others.
"No," I instantly replied. "When I was younger I was angry at the world and didn't encourage anybody. I was into survival and focused on trying to write, get published, and just generally survive."
I knew what question was coming next, and I knew I didn't have a quick answer for it.
"Then when did you start encouraging people?"
I thought for a long time. I honestly couldn't come up with an answer by the time I dropped off Mandy at the terminal.
But I've been chewing on it ever since.
I told Nerissa about the question. As I free associated an answer, she said she heard the word "love" used a lot.
"Love is part of why I do it," I said. "I love seeing a person come alive with the passion they secretly want to express. But I also know that when you love a person with total acceptance, they feel free to become whatever they desire."
But I still couldn't pin-point the time when I began to do this encouraging on a regular basis.
Pat O'Bryan and I had dinner one night and I told him the above story. He then began to probe, trying to get me to narrow down the year and possibly the event that caused me to become encouraging of others.
"I remember reading books that awakened me to the idea that if we focus on the good, we'll get more good," I explained.
Marva Collins is a school teacher in Chicago who taught me, through the stories and books by and about her, that when you focus on the positive in a person, and nurtured and encouraged them, they would blossom.
Marva took inner city kids that were considered retarded, special, and/or illiterate and transformed them within months into kids who read Shakespeare and tested at grade levels five times higher than kids of the same age.
Decades ago I was teaching adult education classes in Houston for a company called Leisure Learning. I would try the Marva Collins approach in my classes. I marveled to see people get excited, take action, and go on to write and publish their own books. They needed encouraged, not just informed.
Pat listened intently as I went on to explain that I also studied Win Wenger, the creativity genius who teaches people how to raise their IQ with simple exercises he created.
Win taught me that whatever you focus on expands. This was long before the movie The Secret or before the Law of Attraction hit mainstream media. Win called it the first law of psychology.
Whatever you focus on will expand.
"It didn't take long for me to begin using these methods on myself," I told Pat. "I'd encourage myself and focus on what I wanted. As it worked for me, I realized it would work for others. So I started encouraging people."
I was also lucky enough to have been married to a woman who was supportive of every idea I came up with, even when we were broke and taking risks could have been seen as a bad move. But Marian focused on the good in me, saw potential, and watered it with her love.
Over time it became easier to encourage people because it felt good, I saw results, and people loved it. So few of us get support that when we suddenly have it, we drink it up like a starving person in the desert.
I've taught my Miracles Coaches this same general idea. It's the prime directive of my life: Find the spark in a person and encourage it to come out in full glory.
Find the spark in a person and encourage it to come out in full glory.
During the meal, the waitress came to Pat and I and asked what we needed. Neither of us needed a thing. We were in the moment. We were happy. But I decided to ask what she needed.
"Nothing," she said. "One day I want to open my own restaurant but right now I'm just waiting tables."
Pat and I exchanged glances and he winked. He knew this was my opening. I turned to the waitress and began to encourage her to do something, anything, to make her dream come true.
I have no idea if she'll actually do anything, but she smiled big and thanked me for the encouragement.
In your own case, as you sit there and read these words, you might ask who is encouraging you and who are you encouraging?
Who are you encouraging?
If you want encouragement, consider my Miracles Coaching program. There's nothing like constant support and encouragement to achieve your goals and intentions.
If you want to encourage others, begin right now. Listen, really listen, when people talk to you. You'll often hear their secret wish. When you hear it, focus on it, if only for a moment.
It's how dreams come true.
PS -- I thank Mandy for asking her great question. I still don't know exactly when I started to encourage people, but I'd guess around 1982. Yet Mandy's question led to some deep self-reflection, some deep conversations, and to this blog post. If you liked it, please share it with others. Who knows, you just might encourage someone to dare something worthy.
Note: Pat O'Bryan interviewed me about this topic last night for his weekly online TV show. It was recorded and you can view it at www.portableempire.tv/ Simply look for the 6-17-08 show with me. Then click on it. Enjoy.
----------------------------------------------------
Dr. Joe Vitale is the star of the hit movie, "The Secret." He is also the author of way too many bestselling books to mention here. To name a few: The Attractor Factor, Zero Limits and his latest, Attract Money Now. He's also recorded many Nightingale Conant audio programs, and most recently, "The Abundance Paradigm." He also created a Miracles Coaching program and much more! For more information on Joe Vitale, go to: http://www.mrfire.com
Monday, August 25, 2014
Saturday, August 23, 2014
How to Handle Disappointment
Copyright (c) 2014 Joe Vitale
How do you handle setbacks?
How do you handle disappointments?
How do you handle being stuck?
Let me answer with a story...
As you probably know by now, I own Francine, a rare 2005 Panoz Esperante GTLM exotic sports car, as well as rock star Steven Tyler (of Aerosmith)'s even rarer 1998 Panoz AIV Roadster.
Obviously, I'm a fan of Panoz cars.
I've been to the Panoz factory, met part of the family, attended their racing school, and love everything by and about Panoz.
So you can imagine how excited I got when I heard that someone took a Panoz Esperante and turned it into a flying car.
Yes, a flying car.
When I checked, I found the story to be true. It was not only transformed into a car that could fly by Jesse James and his nine-man team, but it actually flew - and was broadcast on television.
The 2004 Panoz Esperante took flight on an episode of Monster Garage, making it off the ground for 280 feet before touching down safely.
I wanted that car.
Yes, I wanted that car.
But when I checked, I learned the person who owned the flying car didn't want to sell it. He just kept it in storage.
I thought that was pretty sad, but I let it go and forgot about it.
Until a few days ago, that is.
That's when I learned that the Panoz flying car sold at auction for only $45,000.
Not only was that a ridiculously low amount of money -- as the car alone is worth $105,000 and as a flying car it's worth three times that (at least) -- but the auction happened last January.
Six months ago!
I am rarely upset by things these days, but I have to confess learning the flying car sold for only $45,000 and six months ago almost caused me to blow a gasket.
How could I have missed the auction?
Why didn't anyone tell me?
Talk about disappointment.
I contacted the Panoz folks and shared my frustration. They told me they tried to buy the car at that auction by somehow couldn't get their bid high enough in time. They lost the car.
This seemed bizarre.
I'm obviously a collector of rare Panoz cars. The flying car would be a gem for me to own. It would be pure P.T. Barnum, who of course I wrote a book about.
But somehow I was out of tune, or not clear, or something.
Not only did I not get a chance to bid on the car, but the auction happened half a year ago.
What the - ?
But things got even more interesting and even more disappointing.
When I tired to find out the name of the person who actually won the car, so I could ask him if he'd sell it to me at a higher price, I hit dead ends.
I couldn't find him, and the auction house wouldn't give me his name for privacy reasons.
All of this caused me to be upset for three days.
Three days.
I'm not proud of it. But I'm trying to share a story here, as well as vent a little. This was an experience of deep disappointment to me. I took it personally, and judged myself harshly.
I felt stuck, unhappy, and un-clear.
So, what did I do?
As it turned out, I had to go back into the recording studio to record a few more segments to my forthcoming new audio program, The Awakening Course.
This is the most advanced material I've ever created. It covers the four stages of awakening and leads you through the first three stages, so you can experience them live. The fourth stage comes by grace, but can be described. I do it in the program.
As I recorded my new material about trust and letting go, I realized that I had been very attached to wanting that flying car.
VERY attached.
Yet a key secret to attracting whatever you want is to let go of attachment. Want it without needing it. As my friend Bootzie often says, "I'm perfectly satisfied, I just want more!"
"I'm perfectly satisfied, I just want more!" - Bootzie
That's the spirit of detachment that attracts results.
I wasn't detached.
And I wasn't trusting.
My ego felt things should be different from reality.
My ego felt the car was right for me.
My ego was upset when the car flew away from me.
But the Universe (Divine, God, Gaea, Collective Unconscious, etc) sees the bigger picture. It knows more than your ego. You have to trust IT.
There may be several reasons for me not attracting that car, including -
* Where do you park a car with wings?
* Where do you fly a flying car?
* How do you fly a flying car?
And there's the very real possibility that the person who won the flying car has better reasons for owning it than me.
In short, the way I handled this disappointment was by letting go, trusting, and moving on.
It's very possible the flying car will appear in my life at some later point, but I no longer need it to appear.
I'm happy with or without it.
That's where you want to be with everything in your life: at peace.
And that's the secret to attracting what you want and surviving setbacks, disappointments and stuck issues:
You trust it's all working out for your highest good, you do whatever is next for you to do in the moment, and you do it all from a place of serenity.
You move on - smiling, trusting, letting go.
You soar through life -- with no need for a flying car.
PS - You can see pictures of the Panoz flying car (complete with bullet holes) at http://www.autoblog.com/2008/01/19/barrett-jackson-2008-panoz-esperante-flying-car/ Enjoy.
----------------------------------------------------
Dr. Joe Vitale is the star of the hit movie, "The Secret." He is also the author of way too many bestselling books to mention here. To name a few: The Attractor Factor, Zero Limits and his latest, Attract Money Now. He's also recorded many Nightingale Conant audio programs, and most recently, "The Abundance Paradigm." He also created a Miracles Coaching program and much more! For more information on Joe Vitale, go to: http://www.mrfire.com
How do you handle setbacks?
How do you handle disappointments?
How do you handle being stuck?
Let me answer with a story...
As you probably know by now, I own Francine, a rare 2005 Panoz Esperante GTLM exotic sports car, as well as rock star Steven Tyler (of Aerosmith)'s even rarer 1998 Panoz AIV Roadster.
Obviously, I'm a fan of Panoz cars.
I've been to the Panoz factory, met part of the family, attended their racing school, and love everything by and about Panoz.
So you can imagine how excited I got when I heard that someone took a Panoz Esperante and turned it into a flying car.
Yes, a flying car.
When I checked, I found the story to be true. It was not only transformed into a car that could fly by Jesse James and his nine-man team, but it actually flew - and was broadcast on television.
The 2004 Panoz Esperante took flight on an episode of Monster Garage, making it off the ground for 280 feet before touching down safely.
I wanted that car.
Yes, I wanted that car.
But when I checked, I learned the person who owned the flying car didn't want to sell it. He just kept it in storage.
I thought that was pretty sad, but I let it go and forgot about it.
Until a few days ago, that is.
That's when I learned that the Panoz flying car sold at auction for only $45,000.
Not only was that a ridiculously low amount of money -- as the car alone is worth $105,000 and as a flying car it's worth three times that (at least) -- but the auction happened last January.
Six months ago!
I am rarely upset by things these days, but I have to confess learning the flying car sold for only $45,000 and six months ago almost caused me to blow a gasket.
How could I have missed the auction?
Why didn't anyone tell me?
Talk about disappointment.
I contacted the Panoz folks and shared my frustration. They told me they tried to buy the car at that auction by somehow couldn't get their bid high enough in time. They lost the car.
This seemed bizarre.
I'm obviously a collector of rare Panoz cars. The flying car would be a gem for me to own. It would be pure P.T. Barnum, who of course I wrote a book about.
But somehow I was out of tune, or not clear, or something.
Not only did I not get a chance to bid on the car, but the auction happened half a year ago.
What the - ?
But things got even more interesting and even more disappointing.
When I tired to find out the name of the person who actually won the car, so I could ask him if he'd sell it to me at a higher price, I hit dead ends.
I couldn't find him, and the auction house wouldn't give me his name for privacy reasons.
All of this caused me to be upset for three days.
Three days.
I'm not proud of it. But I'm trying to share a story here, as well as vent a little. This was an experience of deep disappointment to me. I took it personally, and judged myself harshly.
I felt stuck, unhappy, and un-clear.
So, what did I do?
As it turned out, I had to go back into the recording studio to record a few more segments to my forthcoming new audio program, The Awakening Course.
This is the most advanced material I've ever created. It covers the four stages of awakening and leads you through the first three stages, so you can experience them live. The fourth stage comes by grace, but can be described. I do it in the program.
As I recorded my new material about trust and letting go, I realized that I had been very attached to wanting that flying car.
VERY attached.
Yet a key secret to attracting whatever you want is to let go of attachment. Want it without needing it. As my friend Bootzie often says, "I'm perfectly satisfied, I just want more!"
"I'm perfectly satisfied, I just want more!" - Bootzie
That's the spirit of detachment that attracts results.
I wasn't detached.
And I wasn't trusting.
My ego felt things should be different from reality.
My ego felt the car was right for me.
My ego was upset when the car flew away from me.
But the Universe (Divine, God, Gaea, Collective Unconscious, etc) sees the bigger picture. It knows more than your ego. You have to trust IT.
There may be several reasons for me not attracting that car, including -
* Where do you park a car with wings?
* Where do you fly a flying car?
* How do you fly a flying car?
And there's the very real possibility that the person who won the flying car has better reasons for owning it than me.
In short, the way I handled this disappointment was by letting go, trusting, and moving on.
It's very possible the flying car will appear in my life at some later point, but I no longer need it to appear.
I'm happy with or without it.
That's where you want to be with everything in your life: at peace.
And that's the secret to attracting what you want and surviving setbacks, disappointments and stuck issues:
You trust it's all working out for your highest good, you do whatever is next for you to do in the moment, and you do it all from a place of serenity.
You move on - smiling, trusting, letting go.
You soar through life -- with no need for a flying car.
PS - You can see pictures of the Panoz flying car (complete with bullet holes) at http://www.autoblog.com/2008/01/19/barrett-jackson-2008-panoz-esperante-flying-car/ Enjoy.
----------------------------------------------------
Dr. Joe Vitale is the star of the hit movie, "The Secret." He is also the author of way too many bestselling books to mention here. To name a few: The Attractor Factor, Zero Limits and his latest, Attract Money Now. He's also recorded many Nightingale Conant audio programs, and most recently, "The Abundance Paradigm." He also created a Miracles Coaching program and much more! For more information on Joe Vitale, go to: http://www.mrfire.com
Thursday, August 21, 2014
A Joyful Heart Is Good Medicine
You may not know that harboring negative feelings or being distraught emotionally makes us susceptible to poor health. Being angry, suppressing un-forgiveness, being depressed, sad, and even ignoring conflict causes stress in our bodies. Also, if you are in a continual negative state of mind and thought, your body is in a constant state of high stress, compromising and weakening your immune system. It is in this weakened state that makes it difficult for our bodies to fight off illnesses and disease.
Learning how to deal with our issues, practicing forgiveness, smiling more, combating negative thoughts, and avoiding drama, we can reduce the bad stress in our bodies. You will strengthen the body and enjoy life more.
Always pay attention to your body. You feel more energized when you're happy and will usually possess a polite disposition. When you are feeling the opposite, you may feel less energized, weighed down by burdens, and may even experience aches and pain within. One thing for sure, the body never lies and although we can't see the functioning of our bodies within, doesn't mean something is not happening. If you a show <a href="http://0a399k2aq9mplzbdoex4lrgj23.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=SUBART">negative outward appearance</a> due to a mindset that is cradled by negative feelings; there will be a negative inner affect going on as well.
If you're feeling stressed, make time for moderate exercise, it's a great stress-buster and can improve your mood. Always spend time doing things you enjoy whether it be going to a movie, fishing with the kids, or having lunch with a good friend.
Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation can work wonders for your state of mind. Treat your self well and make time for healthy meals and be sure to get the proper amount of rest.
We do have control over the stress and choices we make in our lives. It sometimes takes a little practice and some effort to put some of these techniques into play in your life. But once you do so, you may be pleasantly surprised at the positive benefits you'll receive.
Ultimately, pleasure and happiness are truly medicine to our bodies. However it is up to us to exercise healthy emotions and thoughts. When life throws you a curve ball, always try to respond in a healthy manner. I know we all experience the not so good feelings and think not so good things, that's just a part of life. The goal is to not stay in that negative <a href="http://66b0ed3frmowbxado9ripi3ud9.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=SUBART">place of mind</a> because it is what is in our hearts that will ultimately decide our well being as a whole.
Learning how to deal with our issues, practicing forgiveness, smiling more, combating negative thoughts, and avoiding drama, we can reduce the bad stress in our bodies. You will strengthen the body and enjoy life more.
Always pay attention to your body. You feel more energized when you're happy and will usually possess a polite disposition. When you are feeling the opposite, you may feel less energized, weighed down by burdens, and may even experience aches and pain within. One thing for sure, the body never lies and although we can't see the functioning of our bodies within, doesn't mean something is not happening. If you a show <a href="http://0a399k2aq9mplzbdoex4lrgj23.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=SUBART">negative outward appearance</a> due to a mindset that is cradled by negative feelings; there will be a negative inner affect going on as well.
If you're feeling stressed, make time for moderate exercise, it's a great stress-buster and can improve your mood. Always spend time doing things you enjoy whether it be going to a movie, fishing with the kids, or having lunch with a good friend.
Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation can work wonders for your state of mind. Treat your self well and make time for healthy meals and be sure to get the proper amount of rest.
We do have control over the stress and choices we make in our lives. It sometimes takes a little practice and some effort to put some of these techniques into play in your life. But once you do so, you may be pleasantly surprised at the positive benefits you'll receive.
Ultimately, pleasure and happiness are truly medicine to our bodies. However it is up to us to exercise healthy emotions and thoughts. When life throws you a curve ball, always try to respond in a healthy manner. I know we all experience the not so good feelings and think not so good things, that's just a part of life. The goal is to not stay in that negative <a href="http://66b0ed3frmowbxado9ripi3ud9.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=SUBART">place of mind</a> because it is what is in our hearts that will ultimately decide our well being as a whole.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
How to Love Your Life More
How much do you actually love your life?
This might be the first time you have been asked this question, but you should really be asking yourself this almost every day. Our decisions and choices create the world we find ourselves in. It is possible, if you aren't focusing on where it is all headed, that you may end up in some places you never actually intended to go. While you can find no quick fixes, there are a few things you can do to begin your journey of getting back on track to loving your life.
1. Prioritize
In order to love our lives we should be spending a lot of our time and energy on aspects that mean the most to us. Yet often, we make decisions and say "yes" to incidentals that take away our time along with our energy.
For you to move forward, it may be well to begin by thinking about what the top 3 priorities in your life really are. If your answer is family, creativity, and adventure, for example then it would be difficult to enjoy a life where you are doing little more than mundane, repetitive tasks, and missing out on valuable time with your family. Consider whether your life, your job, your home, actually reflect you and those things you hold dear?
Get your diary out and be in charge of your schedule.
Bring what you value the most into what you do. If you adore cooking and you work in an office, bring home-made snacks to work for people to enjoy. If you are lacking family time, see if you are able to free up a little more non-negotiable time to spend with your children and partner every week. Start with little beginnings. Spend an extra hour here and there on those things that are important to you. Make your time suit your needs.
2. Manage Expectations
So often people are swamped in misery because their lives are just not meeting their expectations. It could be that your partner isn't the perfect true love you always fantasized about. Perhaps your job isn't the career that you thought it might be when you were studying. Maybe you are living week to week at an age when you thought you would be financially more secure.
There is no need to scale back your expectations of a happy, full life. But in these situations it's wise to sit down and figure out whether unhappiness is the result of a situation that isn't helping you, or if you are comparing your life with an illusion. Accepting people, jobs and life for what they are at this moment can be a healing experience for many. Your partner, husband or wife may not be the perfect soul mate you dreamed of - but comparing them to someone who doesn't exist will simply make you both unhappy.
3. Count What's There - Not What's Missing
Remind yourself about everything that is positive in your life. What does your partner do better than anyone else? What does your job provide you that you've stayed in it this long? What made you choose this job in the first instance? Some of the best things in life are not the plans that come to fruition, but the surprises along the route.
4. Take Time Out
Even if your life is fantastic, everyone needs a break every now and then. You may work in a job you love or have a wonderful family, but too large a serving of a fine thing can be bad for you. Fatigue sets in, you begin to feel depleted, resentful, and wonder about changing your situation. Maybe nothing is wrong with your situation - you just need to stand back and take a breather.
Research shows that people attain much more benefit before their holiday than during or after the holiday. This has led scientists to claim that anticipation of a holiday can be as important as the holiday itself. Plan and schedule regular holidays, spread out your annual leave to a few shorter holidays distributed throughout the year, and get regular mini-breaks such as a night out with friends, weekend camping trips to get a change of scenery, and taking time to just be by yourself and do absolutely nothing at all.
Time spent alone is beneficial for mental and emotional health. Take more control over your daily schedule and plan for regular alone time. Take yourself on a date to a theater, do the gardening, go for a run, or embark on an adventure.
5. Find Your Passion
Experiencing passion is an important part of living a full and meaningful life. Inject passion into every day, even weekdays when you have to work and don't feel particularly passionate. If you search hard enough, you can always find some aspect to be passionate about.
When passion is lacking, it can be re-ignited by your favorite meal, taking a course, or a night out with mates. Passion can come from anywhere - it may be reading, creativity, helping others, partiipating in sports, your friends, or visiting distant countries. Passion can come from something really small, like making a dish. There isn't any right or wrong. Notice things that evoke true excitement from within you, and also notice what kind of person inspires you.
What famous or notable person do you most wish you could emulate? This might be the first step in realizing how to live the life you love. If you really aren't sure what your passions are, start with a fresh slate and learn something you've never tried before.
Take a course in something you're interested in; visit a new city; try some exotic dishes; start meeting new people, or check online and start following blogs on specific subjects that draw your attention. Many of the world's greatest chefs, writers, artists, designers, architects, athletes, innovators and entrepeneurs blog on a regular basis about their thoughts, ideas and advice.
6. Learn to Love Yourself
Finding a life you love is only possible if you are able to love yourself. This does not mean arrogance or denying that you have faults. Loving yourself is more or less being your own best friend, a person who can accept you on both good days, and bad days when things don't go to plan.
Accept your flaws and shortcomings, but resolve to treat yourself well. You have the right to be loved and treated well, by yourself and by others. You deserve a good life that makes you happy. Not because you are perfect, but even though you are flawed and human, and even though you may struggle at times, nonetheless you still deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion.
This isn't always easy. We don't always learn to be good to ourselves while growing up. It is a skill that grows with time, and will continue to grow stronger provided we work at it. And the more love we give to ourself, the less we will need to run around fixing problems or struggling to find solutions. Loving your life can become a habit.
After all, foster an 'attitude of gratitude' for the gift that is your life, and for all there is in it. It may not be ideal, but it is yours -- and now is the time to live it.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a UK therapist and Fellow of the Royal Society of Health. More information on his hypnotherapy Birmingham and London practice can be found at http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk Peter's best selling book on hypnosis and hypnotherapy 'The Chi of Change' is now available http://www.chiofchange.com
This might be the first time you have been asked this question, but you should really be asking yourself this almost every day. Our decisions and choices create the world we find ourselves in. It is possible, if you aren't focusing on where it is all headed, that you may end up in some places you never actually intended to go. While you can find no quick fixes, there are a few things you can do to begin your journey of getting back on track to loving your life.
1. Prioritize
In order to love our lives we should be spending a lot of our time and energy on aspects that mean the most to us. Yet often, we make decisions and say "yes" to incidentals that take away our time along with our energy.
For you to move forward, it may be well to begin by thinking about what the top 3 priorities in your life really are. If your answer is family, creativity, and adventure, for example then it would be difficult to enjoy a life where you are doing little more than mundane, repetitive tasks, and missing out on valuable time with your family. Consider whether your life, your job, your home, actually reflect you and those things you hold dear?
Get your diary out and be in charge of your schedule.
Bring what you value the most into what you do. If you adore cooking and you work in an office, bring home-made snacks to work for people to enjoy. If you are lacking family time, see if you are able to free up a little more non-negotiable time to spend with your children and partner every week. Start with little beginnings. Spend an extra hour here and there on those things that are important to you. Make your time suit your needs.
2. Manage Expectations
So often people are swamped in misery because their lives are just not meeting their expectations. It could be that your partner isn't the perfect true love you always fantasized about. Perhaps your job isn't the career that you thought it might be when you were studying. Maybe you are living week to week at an age when you thought you would be financially more secure.
There is no need to scale back your expectations of a happy, full life. But in these situations it's wise to sit down and figure out whether unhappiness is the result of a situation that isn't helping you, or if you are comparing your life with an illusion. Accepting people, jobs and life for what they are at this moment can be a healing experience for many. Your partner, husband or wife may not be the perfect soul mate you dreamed of - but comparing them to someone who doesn't exist will simply make you both unhappy.
3. Count What's There - Not What's Missing
Remind yourself about everything that is positive in your life. What does your partner do better than anyone else? What does your job provide you that you've stayed in it this long? What made you choose this job in the first instance? Some of the best things in life are not the plans that come to fruition, but the surprises along the route.
4. Take Time Out
Even if your life is fantastic, everyone needs a break every now and then. You may work in a job you love or have a wonderful family, but too large a serving of a fine thing can be bad for you. Fatigue sets in, you begin to feel depleted, resentful, and wonder about changing your situation. Maybe nothing is wrong with your situation - you just need to stand back and take a breather.
Research shows that people attain much more benefit before their holiday than during or after the holiday. This has led scientists to claim that anticipation of a holiday can be as important as the holiday itself. Plan and schedule regular holidays, spread out your annual leave to a few shorter holidays distributed throughout the year, and get regular mini-breaks such as a night out with friends, weekend camping trips to get a change of scenery, and taking time to just be by yourself and do absolutely nothing at all.
Time spent alone is beneficial for mental and emotional health. Take more control over your daily schedule and plan for regular alone time. Take yourself on a date to a theater, do the gardening, go for a run, or embark on an adventure.
5. Find Your Passion
Experiencing passion is an important part of living a full and meaningful life. Inject passion into every day, even weekdays when you have to work and don't feel particularly passionate. If you search hard enough, you can always find some aspect to be passionate about.
When passion is lacking, it can be re-ignited by your favorite meal, taking a course, or a night out with mates. Passion can come from anywhere - it may be reading, creativity, helping others, partiipating in sports, your friends, or visiting distant countries. Passion can come from something really small, like making a dish. There isn't any right or wrong. Notice things that evoke true excitement from within you, and also notice what kind of person inspires you.
What famous or notable person do you most wish you could emulate? This might be the first step in realizing how to live the life you love. If you really aren't sure what your passions are, start with a fresh slate and learn something you've never tried before.
Take a course in something you're interested in; visit a new city; try some exotic dishes; start meeting new people, or check online and start following blogs on specific subjects that draw your attention. Many of the world's greatest chefs, writers, artists, designers, architects, athletes, innovators and entrepeneurs blog on a regular basis about their thoughts, ideas and advice.
6. Learn to Love Yourself
Finding a life you love is only possible if you are able to love yourself. This does not mean arrogance or denying that you have faults. Loving yourself is more or less being your own best friend, a person who can accept you on both good days, and bad days when things don't go to plan.
Accept your flaws and shortcomings, but resolve to treat yourself well. You have the right to be loved and treated well, by yourself and by others. You deserve a good life that makes you happy. Not because you are perfect, but even though you are flawed and human, and even though you may struggle at times, nonetheless you still deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion.
This isn't always easy. We don't always learn to be good to ourselves while growing up. It is a skill that grows with time, and will continue to grow stronger provided we work at it. And the more love we give to ourself, the less we will need to run around fixing problems or struggling to find solutions. Loving your life can become a habit.
After all, foster an 'attitude of gratitude' for the gift that is your life, and for all there is in it. It may not be ideal, but it is yours -- and now is the time to live it.
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Peter Field is a UK therapist and Fellow of the Royal Society of Health. More information on his hypnotherapy Birmingham and London practice can be found at http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk Peter's best selling book on hypnosis and hypnotherapy 'The Chi of Change' is now available http://www.chiofchange.com
Monday, August 11, 2014
How to Stop Struggling
Copyright (c) 2014 Joe Vitale
ABC, CBS, Fox and many national television news shows are interested in my movement to stop homelessness, called Operation YES.
They want to hand me a family that has lost their home, or is about to, and have me work with them as they televise the process.
I'm game. I want to prove that any situation can be changed by handling your belief system, focusing on what you want, consciously implementing the law of attraction, and taking action.
But while I'm eager to make this happen and help millions of people, I also know the people I talk to have to be ready to change.
For example, one news station found a woman who had lost her voice box due to cancer, and then her job.
She has four kids and no way to talk to them. She now writes to them on a white board.
Her husband quit his job to help her, and now they may lose their home.
I asked for more details. I could see from the video footage the news station sent me that the woman is strong. She wrote "I am a fighter" on her white board and showed the camera. I'm convinced she can find new income and save her home with some direction and support.
But I wanted to know more about the husband.
As I wrote in my book The Attractor Factor, if two people are involved in a project, both have to be clear for them to achieve their intended result. If one isn't, he or she could hold up progress.
So I asked about the husband.
The reporter was impressed at my "astuteness," as she said the husband was the weak link.
He quit his job when he didn't have to. Neighbors were willing to drive the woman to her doctor appointments, and help with her children.
If I worked with this couple, I'd have to see that the husband was open to change. Apparently he isn't, as the news reporters themselves told me so. (The husband later wrecked the car.)
If I worked with the woman, but the husband resisted my help, there would be little if any permanent change.
But this isn't an excuse to blame other people.
If you're in a situation where you are struggling, ask yourself how you can get clear of the inner issues in you causing the struggle.
As I've explained in my book Zero Limits, and in The Key, the issues aren't with other people or outer circumstances: they are with you.
Get clear within you and those people will either change or move on.
I'm working on my own inner blocks so I can help anyone, even the husband who may be resistant.
Still, your "circle of support" (as I wrote about the other day) will uplift you or deflate you, depending on their mindset.
If that woman got inspired because of my personal help, but then went home to her husband who ridiculed her or me, she'd have less energy to make a change. She could still make a change, but it'd be much tougher.
If you want to stop struggling, you need at least these things -
1. The decision to have something better.
2. Support to take new actions.
3. Clearing of your beliefs.
With those three steps you can change any situation. Again, it's not the situation at issue. It's your inner state.
And you can change that - with help.
----------------------------------------------------
Dr. Joe Vitale is the star of the hit movie, "The Secret." He is also the author of way too many bestselling books to mention here. To name a few: The Attractor Factor, Zero Limits and his latest, Attract Money Now. He's also recorded many Nightingale Conant audio programs, and most recently, "The Abundance Paradigm." He also created a Miracles Coaching program and much more! For more information on Joe Vitale, go to: http://www.mrfire.com
ABC, CBS, Fox and many national television news shows are interested in my movement to stop homelessness, called Operation YES.
They want to hand me a family that has lost their home, or is about to, and have me work with them as they televise the process.
I'm game. I want to prove that any situation can be changed by handling your belief system, focusing on what you want, consciously implementing the law of attraction, and taking action.
But while I'm eager to make this happen and help millions of people, I also know the people I talk to have to be ready to change.
For example, one news station found a woman who had lost her voice box due to cancer, and then her job.
She has four kids and no way to talk to them. She now writes to them on a white board.
Her husband quit his job to help her, and now they may lose their home.
I asked for more details. I could see from the video footage the news station sent me that the woman is strong. She wrote "I am a fighter" on her white board and showed the camera. I'm convinced she can find new income and save her home with some direction and support.
But I wanted to know more about the husband.
As I wrote in my book The Attractor Factor, if two people are involved in a project, both have to be clear for them to achieve their intended result. If one isn't, he or she could hold up progress.
So I asked about the husband.
The reporter was impressed at my "astuteness," as she said the husband was the weak link.
He quit his job when he didn't have to. Neighbors were willing to drive the woman to her doctor appointments, and help with her children.
If I worked with this couple, I'd have to see that the husband was open to change. Apparently he isn't, as the news reporters themselves told me so. (The husband later wrecked the car.)
If I worked with the woman, but the husband resisted my help, there would be little if any permanent change.
But this isn't an excuse to blame other people.
If you're in a situation where you are struggling, ask yourself how you can get clear of the inner issues in you causing the struggle.
As I've explained in my book Zero Limits, and in The Key, the issues aren't with other people or outer circumstances: they are with you.
Get clear within you and those people will either change or move on.
I'm working on my own inner blocks so I can help anyone, even the husband who may be resistant.
Still, your "circle of support" (as I wrote about the other day) will uplift you or deflate you, depending on their mindset.
If that woman got inspired because of my personal help, but then went home to her husband who ridiculed her or me, she'd have less energy to make a change. She could still make a change, but it'd be much tougher.
If you want to stop struggling, you need at least these things -
1. The decision to have something better.
2. Support to take new actions.
3. Clearing of your beliefs.
With those three steps you can change any situation. Again, it's not the situation at issue. It's your inner state.
And you can change that - with help.
----------------------------------------------------
Dr. Joe Vitale is the star of the hit movie, "The Secret." He is also the author of way too many bestselling books to mention here. To name a few: The Attractor Factor, Zero Limits and his latest, Attract Money Now. He's also recorded many Nightingale Conant audio programs, and most recently, "The Abundance Paradigm." He also created a Miracles Coaching program and much more! For more information on Joe Vitale, go to: http://www.mrfire.com
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