How to Love Your Life More

How much do you actually love your life?

This might be the first time you have been asked this question, but you should really be asking yourself this almost every day. Our decisions and choices create the world we find ourselves in. It is possible, if you aren't focusing on where it is all headed, that you may end up in some places you never actually intended to go. While you can find no quick fixes, there are a few things you can do to begin your journey of getting back on track to loving your life.

1. Prioritize

In order to love our lives we should be spending a lot of our time and energy on aspects that mean the most to us. Yet often, we make decisions and say "yes" to incidentals that take away our time along with our energy.

For you to move forward, it may be well to begin by thinking about what the top 3 priorities in your life really are. If your answer is family, creativity, and adventure, for example then it would be difficult to enjoy a life where you are doing little more than mundane, repetitive tasks, and missing out on valuable time with your family. Consider whether your life, your job, your home, actually reflect you and those things you hold dear?

Get your diary out and be in charge of your schedule.

Bring what you value the most into what you do. If you adore cooking and you work in an office, bring home-made snacks to work for people to enjoy. If you are lacking family time, see if you are able to free up a little more non-negotiable time to spend with your children and partner every week. Start with little beginnings. Spend an extra hour here and there on those things that are important to you. Make your time suit your needs.

2. Manage Expectations

So often people are swamped in misery because their lives are just not meeting their expectations. It could be that your partner isn't the perfect true love you always fantasized about. Perhaps your job isn't the career that you thought it might be when you were studying. Maybe you are living week to week at an age when you thought you would be financially more secure.

There is no need to scale back your expectations of a happy, full life. But in these situations it's wise to sit down and figure out whether unhappiness is the result of a situation that isn't helping you, or if you are comparing your life with an illusion. Accepting people, jobs and life for what they are at this moment can be a healing experience for many. Your partner, husband or wife may not be the perfect soul mate you dreamed of - but comparing them to someone who doesn't exist will simply make you both unhappy.

3. Count What's There - Not What's Missing

Remind yourself about everything that is positive in your life. What does your partner do better than anyone else? What does your job provide you that you've stayed in it this long? What made you choose this job in the first instance? Some of the best things in life are not the plans that come to fruition, but the surprises along the route.

4. Take Time Out

Even if your life is fantastic, everyone needs a break every now and then. You may work in a job you love or have a wonderful family, but too large a serving of a fine thing can be bad for you. Fatigue sets in, you begin to feel depleted, resentful, and wonder about changing your situation. Maybe nothing is wrong with your situation - you just need to stand back and take a breather.

Research shows that people attain much more benefit before their holiday than during or after the holiday. This has led scientists to claim that anticipation of a holiday can be as important as the holiday itself. Plan and schedule regular holidays, spread out your annual leave to a few shorter holidays distributed throughout the year, and get regular mini-breaks such as a night out with friends, weekend camping trips to get a change of scenery, and taking time to just be by yourself and do absolutely nothing at all.

Time spent alone is beneficial for mental and emotional health. Take more control over your daily schedule and plan for regular alone time. Take yourself on a date to a theater, do the gardening, go for a run, or embark on an adventure.

5. Find Your Passion

Experiencing passion is an important part of living a full and meaningful life. Inject passion into every day, even weekdays when you have to work and don't feel particularly passionate. If you search hard enough, you can always find some aspect to be passionate about.

When passion is lacking, it can be re-ignited by your favorite meal, taking a course, or a night out with mates. Passion can come from anywhere - it may be reading, creativity, helping others, partiipating in sports, your friends, or visiting distant countries. Passion can come from something really small, like making a dish. There isn't any right or wrong. Notice things that evoke true excitement from within you, and also notice what kind of person inspires you.

What famous or notable person do you most wish you could emulate? This might be the first step in realizing how to live the life you love. If you really aren't sure what your passions are, start with a fresh slate and learn something you've never tried before.

Take a course in something you're interested in; visit a new city; try some exotic dishes; start meeting new people, or check online and start following blogs on specific subjects that draw your attention. Many of the world's greatest chefs, writers, artists, designers, architects, athletes, innovators and entrepeneurs blog on a regular basis about their thoughts, ideas and advice.

6. Learn to Love Yourself

Finding a life you love is only possible if you are able to love yourself. This does not mean arrogance or denying that you have faults. Loving yourself is more or less being your own best friend, a person who can accept you on both good days, and bad days when things don't go to plan.

Accept your flaws and shortcomings, but resolve to treat yourself well. You have the right to be loved and treated well, by yourself and by others. You deserve a good life that makes you happy. Not because you are perfect, but even though you are flawed and human, and even though you may struggle at times, nonetheless you still deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion.

This isn't always easy. We don't always learn to be good to ourselves while growing up. It is a skill that grows with time, and will continue to grow stronger provided we work at it. And the more love we give to ourself, the less we will need to run around fixing problems or struggling to find solutions. Loving your life can become a habit.

After all, foster an 'attitude of gratitude' for the gift that is your life, and for all there is in it. It may not be ideal, but it is yours -- and now is the time to live it.


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Peter Field is a UK therapist and Fellow of the Royal Society of Health. More information on his hypnotherapy Birmingham and London practice can be found at http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk Peter's best selling book on hypnosis and hypnotherapy 'The Chi of Change' is now available http://www.chiofchange.com