So, you've separated. The relationship has ended. Now what? How does an individual move forward in a healthy way? Separations are surely not easy, no matter what the circumstances, but you can find ways to reduce your suffering.
-- Allow yourself time to grieve.
No matter how committed you may be to moving forward, you have to give yourself time to mourn the relationship. Whether you were the one who left or your partner was, breakups are nearly always painful. Adjustments must be made as well as feelings dealt with, and this naturally usually takes time.
Sometimes people make the mistake of attempting to bury their difficult feelings, but by doing this they are trying to circumvent the healing process as a whole. Indeed no one likes to feel miserable. We naturally want to feel better as fast as possible. However, the best way to feel better is usually to face your feelings directly.
Allow yourself to feel hurt, miserable, upset, puzzled, and many other emotions that so frequently come with breakups. When you allow yourself to feel these things now, you're less likely to see those feelings resurface later on when you are least expecting it.
-- Form some sort of help network
You've gone from sharing a regular part of your life with somebody else to being single yet again. For lots of people, this is probably the hardest of transitions. Maybe you feel alone, but in all probability you're surely not. Now may well be the time to get in touch with your good friends and loved ones for help. Phone them when you really need someone to talk to. Invite some over when you need to have a good laugh, weep, get your mind off these things, get out of the house, vent, and do any other activity you need to do.
-- Get out and about
Just as much as you might want to shut the whole world and everyone in it out from time to time, you have to get out of the house and be social as well. Go out with family, some of your close friends and others from your trusted support circle.
In the event you really don't have such a circle, then now is the time to work towards getting one.
Get involved in some new hobbies or activities and also meet some new people. Instead of looking at the separation being a entire loss, try looking at it from a different view. You have been given the opportunity at this point to dedicate time to other things, making new friends, acquiring new knowledge, developing newpastimes and focusing on yourself.
-- Move things around
You're starting a new chapter in your life, and a good way to remind yourself of this is by rearranging your surroundings. Change the position of a chair, your bed, a table. Move a photo or hang a new one. Create these types of changes to your home and things may really feel different in a better, newer way.
-- Give back
You may be going through a particularly rough time right now, but why don't you put things in perspective a bit, do some volunteer work, or have a go at a charity. It feels great to do things for others, particularly those who're really in need.
Think about what sort of activities you can get involved in. If you like animals, you may volunteer at an animal shelter. If you're someone of faith, you can get involved in charity work done by your place of worship. There's an array of different choices, but you need to select something which is meaningful to you yourself. You will feel wonderful after assisting, AND it will help you to place your loss into perspective.
Above all, give yourself time to make the adjustments necessary, time to process your emotions, and time to heal. No need to be harsh with yourself and you'll find yourself moving forward right into a happier day.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psycholtherapy, and a Fellow of the Royal Society of Health. His Birmingham hypnotherapy practice provides hypnosis services in London and throughout the West Midlands. For more information please visit his hypnotherapy website at http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk His book 'The Chi of Change' explores the fascinating world of hypnotherapy http://www.chiofchange.com
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Top 6 Questions People Have Before they Begin to think about Personal Development for Themselves
For most people, personal growth or personal development is not only a process in itself, but getting to the point of realizing that it may be something they want to incorporate into their lives is also a process. Most people don't wake up one day out of the blue and decide that they want to focus on their own personal growth. There are usually questions and recurring situations they one continues to struggle with that will be the catalyst in starting them off in that direction. So what could those questions be?
1) How to stop the feelings of guilt and fear of the loss of those you love
This one is very common as most people are brought up do deal with situations through guilt or fear. However, because it is not our normal status quo way of being, over time, we begin to show the effects of carrying the guilt and fear through the deterioration of our health, wealth, or relationships.
2) How to silence the thoughts that carry you over self destruction
All of our thoughts were created and reinforced through our perceptions of experiences that we went through. Many of these thoughts are based on false perceptions, so therefor the thoughts will only reinforce these false perceptions and cause us to recreate the same types of experiences over and over again. False thoughts can only lead to destruction, which is why it is important to replace them with constructive thoughts based on the truth.
3) How do I find my passion and direction to live love no matter what
Many of us become so overwhelmed with false perceptions of ourselves, that over time, we begin to lose ourselves and what brings us joy in this world. Those of us that are lucky enough to realize that we are going through the motions and not living our lives through our love, have time to rekindle that passion and truly make a difference in our lives and those around us.
4) How do I overcome adversities and animosities without allowing them to devour me?
Live brings us challenges and experiences that we sometimes feel are not desirable. So how can we move through these experiences and see the silver lining in each situation so we can continue to move forward and not get stuck and mired in disappointments and doubts that can creep up.
5) How do I find and maintain lasting happiness?
To most of us, this is very important. many of us are not automatically happy in our lives. Most of us are pessimistic and see the wrong in things instead of the right. Seeing the wrong in things does not allow us to be happy and empower us into really creating the life we love.
6) How do I allow myself to live the real me?
If you have ever made a decision based on the approval of someone else in spite of what you wanted, you are not living the real you. If you have ever felt you had to hide a part of yourself because of what someone else may think about you, you are not living the real you. Finding the courage to live your life is one that many of us lack.
These are some of the most popular questions we ask ourselves that we want the answers to, and the desire to have the answers to these questions is the first step in our personal development journey.
----------------------------------------------------
Enhance your life with the innovative course The Choice Is Mine. The power in this work teaches you how to look at life circumstances so you can know the depth of your potential and act positively on that awareness... to live "your dream life" sooner rather than later. Take that first step go to: http://thechoiceismine.com & begin reprogramming your subconscious today so you can have what you say you want tomorrow.
1) How to stop the feelings of guilt and fear of the loss of those you love
This one is very common as most people are brought up do deal with situations through guilt or fear. However, because it is not our normal status quo way of being, over time, we begin to show the effects of carrying the guilt and fear through the deterioration of our health, wealth, or relationships.
2) How to silence the thoughts that carry you over self destruction
All of our thoughts were created and reinforced through our perceptions of experiences that we went through. Many of these thoughts are based on false perceptions, so therefor the thoughts will only reinforce these false perceptions and cause us to recreate the same types of experiences over and over again. False thoughts can only lead to destruction, which is why it is important to replace them with constructive thoughts based on the truth.
3) How do I find my passion and direction to live love no matter what
Many of us become so overwhelmed with false perceptions of ourselves, that over time, we begin to lose ourselves and what brings us joy in this world. Those of us that are lucky enough to realize that we are going through the motions and not living our lives through our love, have time to rekindle that passion and truly make a difference in our lives and those around us.
4) How do I overcome adversities and animosities without allowing them to devour me?
Live brings us challenges and experiences that we sometimes feel are not desirable. So how can we move through these experiences and see the silver lining in each situation so we can continue to move forward and not get stuck and mired in disappointments and doubts that can creep up.
5) How do I find and maintain lasting happiness?
To most of us, this is very important. many of us are not automatically happy in our lives. Most of us are pessimistic and see the wrong in things instead of the right. Seeing the wrong in things does not allow us to be happy and empower us into really creating the life we love.
6) How do I allow myself to live the real me?
If you have ever made a decision based on the approval of someone else in spite of what you wanted, you are not living the real you. If you have ever felt you had to hide a part of yourself because of what someone else may think about you, you are not living the real you. Finding the courage to live your life is one that many of us lack.
These are some of the most popular questions we ask ourselves that we want the answers to, and the desire to have the answers to these questions is the first step in our personal development journey.
----------------------------------------------------
Enhance your life with the innovative course The Choice Is Mine. The power in this work teaches you how to look at life circumstances so you can know the depth of your potential and act positively on that awareness... to live "your dream life" sooner rather than later. Take that first step go to: http://thechoiceismine.com & begin reprogramming your subconscious today so you can have what you say you want tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
The Sixth Virtue: Comprimise
In any difficult negotiation where splitting partners believe intently about the passions at risk, occasional predicaments are inescapable. Two influential but seemingly opposing proposals can create an impasse-- a standstill. Knowing ways to conquer impasses is the practical negotiators most important talent. Consider the following example that has significance to all Americans.
The Constitutional Congress of 1787 was at an impasse that endangered the nascent of the United States: Should each state have a number of Congressional reps correlative to its population or should every state get the exact same amount of votes? Others claimed: How could the much larger states secure their bigger contributions of funds and useful resources if teach state had the very same amount of votes?
And there the problem lay, threatening to sink the launching of a new country.
Who prevented the impasse?
The idealistic and brilliant Jefferson? Nope.
The ethical and remarkably well read John Adams? No again.
It took a rationalist, someone with a reasonable turn of mind and the utmost regard for assorted points of view: Benjamin Franklin. Drawing upon his long experience with Philadelphia specialists, Franklin reminded the disputants that "when a broad table is to be made, and the edges of planks do not fit, the artist takes a little from both and makes a good joint. In like manner here, both sides must part with some of their demands." He then popped the question: Why not two bodies of representatives, one with comparable representation and one with equivalent representation?
The resulting dialogue, of course, assembled the Senate and the House of Representatives, institutionalising the innovative pressures between state and federal interests with no pushing either side to yield entirely to the other or to give up basic concepts. A remedy was found, not by revolutionaries recommending steadfast bureaucratic concepts but by a man with equally heavy-duty beliefs in humility, understanding, and regard for differing points of view.
Oftentimes, to reach acceptable answers:.
"The two sides must split with a few of their needs." Benjamin Franklin.
----------------------------------------------------
This piece was written by Sarah Murchison. Sarah is a wealth of understanding. She loves to make distinct content that individuals can learn and grow from. A large fan of efficient interaction and agreement, Sarah Murchison knows the importance of companies, such as Negotiated Divorce, who strive to make people's lifespans simpler. http://www.negotiateddivorce.com
The Constitutional Congress of 1787 was at an impasse that endangered the nascent of the United States: Should each state have a number of Congressional reps correlative to its population or should every state get the exact same amount of votes? Others claimed: How could the much larger states secure their bigger contributions of funds and useful resources if teach state had the very same amount of votes?
And there the problem lay, threatening to sink the launching of a new country.
Who prevented the impasse?
The idealistic and brilliant Jefferson? Nope.
The ethical and remarkably well read John Adams? No again.
It took a rationalist, someone with a reasonable turn of mind and the utmost regard for assorted points of view: Benjamin Franklin. Drawing upon his long experience with Philadelphia specialists, Franklin reminded the disputants that "when a broad table is to be made, and the edges of planks do not fit, the artist takes a little from both and makes a good joint. In like manner here, both sides must part with some of their demands." He then popped the question: Why not two bodies of representatives, one with comparable representation and one with equivalent representation?
The resulting dialogue, of course, assembled the Senate and the House of Representatives, institutionalising the innovative pressures between state and federal interests with no pushing either side to yield entirely to the other or to give up basic concepts. A remedy was found, not by revolutionaries recommending steadfast bureaucratic concepts but by a man with equally heavy-duty beliefs in humility, understanding, and regard for differing points of view.
Oftentimes, to reach acceptable answers:.
"The two sides must split with a few of their needs." Benjamin Franklin.
----------------------------------------------------
This piece was written by Sarah Murchison. Sarah is a wealth of understanding. She loves to make distinct content that individuals can learn and grow from. A large fan of efficient interaction and agreement, Sarah Murchison knows the importance of companies, such as Negotiated Divorce, who strive to make people's lifespans simpler. http://www.negotiateddivorce.com
Sunday, September 28, 2014
How To Enjoy Home Spa Massage Therapy For Health And Wellness Benefits
Anyone who has had the pleasure of receiving a full body massage would agree that <a href="http://www.myspashop.com/passions/spa-menu.html?world=passions">massage therapy</a> is one of life's most delicious experiences. And since it is said that giving is better than receiving, here's a little guidance on how you can deliver the delights of a good rub. Even without the help of an anatomy book or class, giving a massage works every time. And the reason is simple, people love to be touched. "Feel good" factor aside, there are plenty of medical benefits to receiving a massage. Not only does it increase circulation, thereby allowing the body to pump more oxygen and nutrients into tissues and vital organs, it also stimulates the body's natural defenses and alleviates symptoms of depression and stress. If you follow these basic massage tips, you will realize the benefits of home spa wellness solutions.
If you have a massage table, great, else you can start with a firm mattress covered with a massage towel. This will work nicely along with lighting a few aromatherapy candlesand choose some calming spa music. Next have your partner remove his or her clothing, jewelry and contact lenses, then ask them to slip between the sheets or blankets.
Inexpensive <a href="http://www.myspashop.com/shopping.html?world=shopping">home spa products</a> can be leveraged to complete the massage treatments. Applying essential oils in massage therapy relieves stress and anxiety, increases lymph production, detoxifies, and soothes sore muscles. Start by pouring the massage oil into your palm to warm the oil, then proceed with massage.
There are many different types of massage techniques to choose from, which includes the following: kneading, deep friction, skin rolling, compression and more. Since kneading is the centerpiece of a full-body massage, we will cover this technique in more detail. The kneading technique requires you to uncover and gently grasp an area of the body that can include: shoulders, back, calves, thighs or fleshy area over the hip. Use both hands and knead the skin as though kneading dough. Keep your strokes smooth and rhythmic.
Keeping your partner warm during the massage is important as it keeps the muscles relaxed. Make sure the room stays warm and keep a few blankets nearby. An electric blanket or heating pad is a welcome touch. Following the massage, have your partner relax for about 20 minutes while keeping warm. Body fluids should be replenished by offering your partner some drinking water or a cup of herbal tea. Enjoy your new found bliss by giving and receiving massage treatments.
If you have a massage table, great, else you can start with a firm mattress covered with a massage towel. This will work nicely along with lighting a few aromatherapy candlesand choose some calming spa music. Next have your partner remove his or her clothing, jewelry and contact lenses, then ask them to slip between the sheets or blankets.
Inexpensive <a href="http://www.myspashop.com/shopping.html?world=shopping">home spa products</a> can be leveraged to complete the massage treatments. Applying essential oils in massage therapy relieves stress and anxiety, increases lymph production, detoxifies, and soothes sore muscles. Start by pouring the massage oil into your palm to warm the oil, then proceed with massage.
There are many different types of massage techniques to choose from, which includes the following: kneading, deep friction, skin rolling, compression and more. Since kneading is the centerpiece of a full-body massage, we will cover this technique in more detail. The kneading technique requires you to uncover and gently grasp an area of the body that can include: shoulders, back, calves, thighs or fleshy area over the hip. Use both hands and knead the skin as though kneading dough. Keep your strokes smooth and rhythmic.
Keeping your partner warm during the massage is important as it keeps the muscles relaxed. Make sure the room stays warm and keep a few blankets nearby. An electric blanket or heating pad is a welcome touch. Following the massage, have your partner relax for about 20 minutes while keeping warm. Body fluids should be replenished by offering your partner some drinking water or a cup of herbal tea. Enjoy your new found bliss by giving and receiving massage treatments.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Dealing With Pornography Addiction
Pornography addiction is an increasing problem, one that is receiving growing attention in the media. It is an issue that is bringing more and more people to our therapy clinics here in the UK.
The Internet places pornography at the tip of our fingers. With the click of a mouse anyone can access all manner of porn.
What happens when looking at online pornography gets out of control? At what point does it become an addiction? How can someone struggling with a pornography addiction get the help they need?
Pornography addiction is not yet recognized by the American Psychological Association as a mental disorder (as many other addictions are), but this does not mean that the problem doesn't exist.
The criteria for identifying pornography addiction is very similar to other addictions. Does reading, watching, thinking about, and/or viewing pornography interfere with a person's work, personal life, relationships, social interactions or family life? If this question is answered in the affirmative, then the person may well have a pornography addiction.
What are some of the main things that make porn addiction a greater problem than in the past?
Accessibility
It's easier than ever before to view pornography. Before the advent of Internet porn, a person had to actually enter an adult video store, or buy an adult magazine in a shop. Now, with a quick Internet search, anyone can have practically instant access to almost unlimited, free porn in the privacy of their own home.
Early Exposure
A recent study reported that 42% of children have been exposed to pornography on the Internet before the age of 18. In times passed, access to porn was more difficult, but with the advent of the Internet, children have a far greater probability of being exposed to it from an early age.
Tolerance
Some experts believe that tolerance to pornography is built up in a similar manner to alcohol and other substances. The more porn the addict consumes, the more they require in order to get the same degree of satisfaction. The Internet offers an unlimited supply of content with around 420 million different pornography websites available.
How can someone struggling with a pornography addiction get the help they need?
As pornography addiction becomes more common and receives more attention, our understanding of it grows. As our understanding improves, so does our ability to successfully treat this issue.
The first step to recovery lies in ending the denial and recognizing that there is a problem and that the person is addicted. This accomplished, there are numerous effective ways to treat porn addiction.
There are a number of 12-Step programs, both on and offline that offer help with this addiction. Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous are two of the most popular. A person can also seek individual therapy and counseling, and hypnotherapy can be of enormous help in managing this addiction. Working with a professional who has experience in this area, the addict can learn to control their addiction and return to a freer way of life.
If you are experiencing an addiction to pornography, or know someone who might be, any of these therapeutic options can be helpful in conquering it.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a U.K. based counselor and a hypnotherapist with clinics in London and Birmingham. He is Fellow of the Royal Society of Health, Member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, and Member of the National Guild of Hypnotists. For 1-2-1 sessions please visit http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk Peter's self hypnosis recordings are now available at: http://www.hypnosiscdmp3downloads.com
The Internet places pornography at the tip of our fingers. With the click of a mouse anyone can access all manner of porn.
What happens when looking at online pornography gets out of control? At what point does it become an addiction? How can someone struggling with a pornography addiction get the help they need?
Pornography addiction is not yet recognized by the American Psychological Association as a mental disorder (as many other addictions are), but this does not mean that the problem doesn't exist.
The criteria for identifying pornography addiction is very similar to other addictions. Does reading, watching, thinking about, and/or viewing pornography interfere with a person's work, personal life, relationships, social interactions or family life? If this question is answered in the affirmative, then the person may well have a pornography addiction.
What are some of the main things that make porn addiction a greater problem than in the past?
Accessibility
It's easier than ever before to view pornography. Before the advent of Internet porn, a person had to actually enter an adult video store, or buy an adult magazine in a shop. Now, with a quick Internet search, anyone can have practically instant access to almost unlimited, free porn in the privacy of their own home.
Early Exposure
A recent study reported that 42% of children have been exposed to pornography on the Internet before the age of 18. In times passed, access to porn was more difficult, but with the advent of the Internet, children have a far greater probability of being exposed to it from an early age.
Tolerance
Some experts believe that tolerance to pornography is built up in a similar manner to alcohol and other substances. The more porn the addict consumes, the more they require in order to get the same degree of satisfaction. The Internet offers an unlimited supply of content with around 420 million different pornography websites available.
How can someone struggling with a pornography addiction get the help they need?
As pornography addiction becomes more common and receives more attention, our understanding of it grows. As our understanding improves, so does our ability to successfully treat this issue.
The first step to recovery lies in ending the denial and recognizing that there is a problem and that the person is addicted. This accomplished, there are numerous effective ways to treat porn addiction.
There are a number of 12-Step programs, both on and offline that offer help with this addiction. Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous are two of the most popular. A person can also seek individual therapy and counseling, and hypnotherapy can be of enormous help in managing this addiction. Working with a professional who has experience in this area, the addict can learn to control their addiction and return to a freer way of life.
If you are experiencing an addiction to pornography, or know someone who might be, any of these therapeutic options can be helpful in conquering it.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a U.K. based counselor and a hypnotherapist with clinics in London and Birmingham. He is Fellow of the Royal Society of Health, Member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, and Member of the National Guild of Hypnotists. For 1-2-1 sessions please visit http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk Peter's self hypnosis recordings are now available at: http://www.hypnosiscdmp3downloads.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)