Pornography addiction is a subject that is receiving increasing attention in the media these days. What may have started as a fairly innocent pastime has turned into a compulsive activity for so many, from celebrities to students.
The Internet offers endless possibilities for viewing pornography with the click of a mouse. What takes place when viewing online porn spirals out of control? When does it become an addiction? How can a person struggling with porn addiction get the help they need?
Pornography addiction is not yet recognized by the American Psychological Association as a psychological disorder (as many other addictions are), but greater focus is now being given to this problem and an ever increasing number of people are seeking help in this area.
The criteria for determining a pornography addiction is similar to that of other addictions. Does reading, watching, thinking about, and/or viewing pornography interfere with your work, personal life, relationships, social interactions or family life? If you answer yes to this question, you could have a pornography addiction.
What makes porn addiction a greater problem than in the past?
Accessibility
It's easier than ever before to access pornography. Before the Internet, it was necessary to actually enter an adult entertainment store and purchase material. It required a certain degree of personal disclosure -- taking the magazine, video or DVD to the cashier meant that you would be identified as a pornography consumer, which of course deterred quite a few people from consuming it in the first place. These days, with a fast Internet search, unlimited pornography is available in the privacy of anyone's home.
Early exposure
Whereas in the past access to this kind of thing would be rare and difficult to obtain, with the Internet children have a good chance of being exposed to it from an early age. A recent study reported that 42% of children have been exposed to pornography on the Internet before the age of 18.
Tolerance
Some experts believe that tolerance is built up when it comes to pornography addiction, much as tolerance is built up with alcohol addiction or other substances. The need to view pornography appears to increase with the amount the addict views. With an estimated 420 million pornography websites available, the Internet appears to have an almost unlimited supply.
Getting Help
As pornography addiction becomes more common and receives more attention, our understanding of it grows. As our understanding of this problem increases, so too does our ability to effectively treat it.. One possible way to view pornography addiction is to see it as a form of sex addiction. There are now several different and effective ways to treat this addiction. In addition to 12 step programs such as Sex Addicts Anonymous, and Sexual Compulsives Anonymous, there are a number of recovery programs, both on and offline that offer help with this addiction. Individual therapy is also available. CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy, and modern hypnotherapy may be especially helpful for those seeking help to conquer this addiction.
If you, or someone you care about is experiencing difficulty because of pornography, help is available. With the right kind of therapy this really is a problem that can be overcome.
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Peter Field is a UK therapist working in London and Birmingham. Information can be found on his website http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk He is the author of the best-selling book on hypnotherapy 'The Chi of Change' http://www.chiofchange.com
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Thursday, November 5, 2015
How To Plan For Success (Not Just Fake It Until You Make It)
Do you run your day?
Let me ask you a question, do you run your day? Instead of letting it run you, do you act instead of reacting? So many people trudge through their days without having any clue as to the purpose of doing it, other than to make a bit of coin and continue living, so that they can do the same thing the next day. Now regardless of whether you like your job or not, if you don't know what your true purpose in life then you will never reach your own idea of true success. You may absolutely love your job but if you believe that you were meant for more you will always be wondering "what if?"
I believe in planning for success and knowing that you are planning your days for maximum effectiveness to reach an end goal, so I want to run through exactly what it means to plan for success, whether your goal is to run a highly successful business, or build a great relationship with your family, there are things you need to do every day, or at least on a regular basis to achieve it. Let's take a look at what some of the most successful people on this planet do to run their days to maximum effectiveness..
Have a pre-determined purpose
Going back to the point I made in the introduction, if you have a pre-determined purpose for working hard at something, your motivation will always be there to get things done. Success isn't a sprint, it's a marathon and if you aren't packing the right kind of mental attitude, generated from having a purpose, you are going to fall at the first hurdle. For example the guy who wants to shift some weight, undo 50 years' worth of bad eating habits and not exercising, he looks in the mirror after a week of dieting and working hard in the gym. He looks at himself and thinks, "well this isn't working, I still look fat, stuff it, I'm done with this", he's thrown in the towel before his body even has a chance to change, he didn't have a purpose for changing. If the purpose of your change is to look good for the girls on the beach, or to look like all the models on the covers of men's health or women's magazine, you've got no fight and you're going to drown. That guy didn't have a strong
enough purpose to keep him moving towards his weight loss goal, if he had thought of a strong enough reason for losing that weight, it would have seen him though the entire journey and carried him though the good and the bad times.
Plan your day hour by hour
Sounds like hard work doesn't it? Well guess what? Reality check it, it is hard! It's incredibly hard to plan your day and stick to it rigidly when so much can happen in 24hours. So many things change during the day and you are forced to adapt to those situations, but it's how you react to what happens that truly counts. But if you are sitting down the night before and planning what you are going to do hour by hour, you give your day structure, you know what you have to do and you get it done. Sit down and write out all of the things that you need to do, the daily activities and the odd things that crop up too, work related and personal, then pencil them into your diary when you are going to complete those tasks. If you don't get everything done that's absolutely fine, I don't always get everything completed when I say I'm going to complete it but I make a note of what needs to be followed up on, then I can simply slot it into the next day and get it finished then. Plan your day or
I promise you now, your day will run you and you'll have nothing to show for it.
Keep a journal
You know it is strangely liberating writing down everything that you did during the day and everything that happened, maybe it's just me but it makes me feel like I am unloading all of the stress of the day and reflecting on all of the good things that happened too. By writing down the events of the day, you can track your efforts and determine where you could have spent more time being productive, determine what works and what doesn't and tweak things so that you become more effective in your daily efforts. Keeping a journal also helps you become more grateful for everything too, as you can reflect on and appreciate all of the good things that happened and believe me, everyone can find some good in their days, even if it doesn't seem that way at first glance.
Plan to fail
You have to realize from the start that you are going to run into stumbling blocks and you're going to be tested. Not realizing this is naïve and it will set you back big time unless you accept it. The way to look at this is in a completely different light, people see failure as a bad thing, thinking it is making them weaker when in actual fact, you are becoming stronger and stronger through your failures. I love failure! Every successful person in this world has failed and I bet if you asked them, they would tell you they failed more times than they would care to mention, but it is through that failure that they became stronger and learnt what they were doing was obviously not the best course of action. Plan to take the hits and don't point fingers, trying to shift the blame onto someone or something, accept it, learn from it and move on.
Plan your own development
What a lot of people fail to do is improve on themselves, they are so fixed on their work that they forget to take the time to learn new things and develop their own mind set for success. I'm sure everyone has different amounts of time that they can devote to personal development, but personally I find listening to something constructive for 30 minutes every day and reading something constructive for 30 minutes every day is sufficient to improve upon yourself, but if you can dedicate more then do it. Successful people realize that the amount of success they have and the indeed the amount of money they earn, is directly related to how much time we put into our self-development. "We get paid for bringing value to the marketplace" (Jim Rohn), I think this quote says it all, you get out of any endeavour the amount of effort you put into it, but also how much time you spend becoming a better person to go after that endeavour.
Separate emotions from business and work
There is a bit of a catch with this one so let me explain. Business and work is not worth getting upset or overly emotional about, the only emotion you should carry into your working environment is that of passion. This was actually echoed by Martha Stuart, the first female to reach billionaire status and she talks about it in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fT2K0oMwm8">this video</a> where she explains some of her rules to success, which can be applied to business and life in equal manner. You need to become conscious of your emotions when you are going about your day, don't let yourself become too emotional when something happens during the day which at first is perceived as negative. Take a minute to think about it and turn it on its head, look at it in a positive way. You can do this with anything, it may not be easy at first but you can do it, but that first step is becoming aware of your emotions during the day and separating them from work because it just isn't
worth it. We all have a limited time in this world, so why spend it getting upset and worried about something which isn't always going to be.
Let me ask you a question, do you run your day? Instead of letting it run you, do you act instead of reacting? So many people trudge through their days without having any clue as to the purpose of doing it, other than to make a bit of coin and continue living, so that they can do the same thing the next day. Now regardless of whether you like your job or not, if you don't know what your true purpose in life then you will never reach your own idea of true success. You may absolutely love your job but if you believe that you were meant for more you will always be wondering "what if?"
I believe in planning for success and knowing that you are planning your days for maximum effectiveness to reach an end goal, so I want to run through exactly what it means to plan for success, whether your goal is to run a highly successful business, or build a great relationship with your family, there are things you need to do every day, or at least on a regular basis to achieve it. Let's take a look at what some of the most successful people on this planet do to run their days to maximum effectiveness..
Have a pre-determined purpose
Going back to the point I made in the introduction, if you have a pre-determined purpose for working hard at something, your motivation will always be there to get things done. Success isn't a sprint, it's a marathon and if you aren't packing the right kind of mental attitude, generated from having a purpose, you are going to fall at the first hurdle. For example the guy who wants to shift some weight, undo 50 years' worth of bad eating habits and not exercising, he looks in the mirror after a week of dieting and working hard in the gym. He looks at himself and thinks, "well this isn't working, I still look fat, stuff it, I'm done with this", he's thrown in the towel before his body even has a chance to change, he didn't have a purpose for changing. If the purpose of your change is to look good for the girls on the beach, or to look like all the models on the covers of men's health or women's magazine, you've got no fight and you're going to drown. That guy didn't have a strong
enough purpose to keep him moving towards his weight loss goal, if he had thought of a strong enough reason for losing that weight, it would have seen him though the entire journey and carried him though the good and the bad times.
Plan your day hour by hour
Sounds like hard work doesn't it? Well guess what? Reality check it, it is hard! It's incredibly hard to plan your day and stick to it rigidly when so much can happen in 24hours. So many things change during the day and you are forced to adapt to those situations, but it's how you react to what happens that truly counts. But if you are sitting down the night before and planning what you are going to do hour by hour, you give your day structure, you know what you have to do and you get it done. Sit down and write out all of the things that you need to do, the daily activities and the odd things that crop up too, work related and personal, then pencil them into your diary when you are going to complete those tasks. If you don't get everything done that's absolutely fine, I don't always get everything completed when I say I'm going to complete it but I make a note of what needs to be followed up on, then I can simply slot it into the next day and get it finished then. Plan your day or
I promise you now, your day will run you and you'll have nothing to show for it.
Keep a journal
You know it is strangely liberating writing down everything that you did during the day and everything that happened, maybe it's just me but it makes me feel like I am unloading all of the stress of the day and reflecting on all of the good things that happened too. By writing down the events of the day, you can track your efforts and determine where you could have spent more time being productive, determine what works and what doesn't and tweak things so that you become more effective in your daily efforts. Keeping a journal also helps you become more grateful for everything too, as you can reflect on and appreciate all of the good things that happened and believe me, everyone can find some good in their days, even if it doesn't seem that way at first glance.
Plan to fail
You have to realize from the start that you are going to run into stumbling blocks and you're going to be tested. Not realizing this is naïve and it will set you back big time unless you accept it. The way to look at this is in a completely different light, people see failure as a bad thing, thinking it is making them weaker when in actual fact, you are becoming stronger and stronger through your failures. I love failure! Every successful person in this world has failed and I bet if you asked them, they would tell you they failed more times than they would care to mention, but it is through that failure that they became stronger and learnt what they were doing was obviously not the best course of action. Plan to take the hits and don't point fingers, trying to shift the blame onto someone or something, accept it, learn from it and move on.
Plan your own development
What a lot of people fail to do is improve on themselves, they are so fixed on their work that they forget to take the time to learn new things and develop their own mind set for success. I'm sure everyone has different amounts of time that they can devote to personal development, but personally I find listening to something constructive for 30 minutes every day and reading something constructive for 30 minutes every day is sufficient to improve upon yourself, but if you can dedicate more then do it. Successful people realize that the amount of success they have and the indeed the amount of money they earn, is directly related to how much time we put into our self-development. "We get paid for bringing value to the marketplace" (Jim Rohn), I think this quote says it all, you get out of any endeavour the amount of effort you put into it, but also how much time you spend becoming a better person to go after that endeavour.
Separate emotions from business and work
There is a bit of a catch with this one so let me explain. Business and work is not worth getting upset or overly emotional about, the only emotion you should carry into your working environment is that of passion. This was actually echoed by Martha Stuart, the first female to reach billionaire status and she talks about it in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fT2K0oMwm8">this video</a> where she explains some of her rules to success, which can be applied to business and life in equal manner. You need to become conscious of your emotions when you are going about your day, don't let yourself become too emotional when something happens during the day which at first is perceived as negative. Take a minute to think about it and turn it on its head, look at it in a positive way. You can do this with anything, it may not be easy at first but you can do it, but that first step is becoming aware of your emotions during the day and separating them from work because it just isn't
worth it. We all have a limited time in this world, so why spend it getting upset and worried about something which isn't always going to be.
Saturday, October 3, 2015
How To Live A Happy Life
Abundant Living In 2014
Dr. Stephen Covey told us that, "Every human has four endowments, self-awareness, conscience, independent will, and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom and the power to choose, to respond, and to change." It is thoughts that can help us change our world and our lives. Thoughts coupled with our human emotions pack an even greater punch when it comes to challenging our beliefs and changing our lives. When it comes to money, for example, it's not really about what money you have, or wish you had, it's really more about how you feel about the money. Prosperity is a real hot button issue for many of us. Dale Carnegie said it best, "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have."Emotions about our choices in life concerning money present us with a real challenge when it comes to realizing our capability for abundance.
There are emotions that can block the abundance from flowing in our direction. Fear, worry and anger, along with resentment, jealousy, self-pity and envy are all dangerous emotions that will positively shut off the flow of abundance to your life. While negative emotions can be helpful in life-threatening situations, aiding in our survival, it can seriously impact our lives when used inappropriately. You need that fear to tell you to run away or that anger to save a loved one, but when applied in the normal course of events, these negative emotions can be detrimental to your health, or even the health of others. It's most assuredly detrimental to the flow of abundance in your life. Eliminating these debilitating emotions, and showing forgiveness for yourself, as well as for others in your life, will re-establish the abundant flow back into your world. You must rid yourself of all negative emotions; push aside the pettiness and resentment, the fear, anger, and worry.
Depression and doubt are extremely harmful to your body and your mind, and must be dealt with quickly and replaced with more positive emotions, before they can cause physical or mental illness. Jealousy, envy, and resentment hurt you as well as others and block the flow of abundance in your direction.You've heard the Latin phrase, 'carpe diem.' It means 'seize the day.' Grab the opportunity; don't let it pass you by. You must live your life to the fullest, make each day count, and maximize the quality of your life. Remember, this is not a dress rehearsal; this is real life.
----------------------------------------------------
Joe Searle is an internet marketing expert and affiliate of the Six Figure Mentors training programme. Online for a year and a half now, he has helped many create their digital lifestyle, could you be next? For more information visit: http://joeptsearle.yourmarketingsystem.net/blog/
Dr. Stephen Covey told us that, "Every human has four endowments, self-awareness, conscience, independent will, and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom and the power to choose, to respond, and to change." It is thoughts that can help us change our world and our lives. Thoughts coupled with our human emotions pack an even greater punch when it comes to challenging our beliefs and changing our lives. When it comes to money, for example, it's not really about what money you have, or wish you had, it's really more about how you feel about the money. Prosperity is a real hot button issue for many of us. Dale Carnegie said it best, "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you have."Emotions about our choices in life concerning money present us with a real challenge when it comes to realizing our capability for abundance.
There are emotions that can block the abundance from flowing in our direction. Fear, worry and anger, along with resentment, jealousy, self-pity and envy are all dangerous emotions that will positively shut off the flow of abundance to your life. While negative emotions can be helpful in life-threatening situations, aiding in our survival, it can seriously impact our lives when used inappropriately. You need that fear to tell you to run away or that anger to save a loved one, but when applied in the normal course of events, these negative emotions can be detrimental to your health, or even the health of others. It's most assuredly detrimental to the flow of abundance in your life. Eliminating these debilitating emotions, and showing forgiveness for yourself, as well as for others in your life, will re-establish the abundant flow back into your world. You must rid yourself of all negative emotions; push aside the pettiness and resentment, the fear, anger, and worry.
Depression and doubt are extremely harmful to your body and your mind, and must be dealt with quickly and replaced with more positive emotions, before they can cause physical or mental illness. Jealousy, envy, and resentment hurt you as well as others and block the flow of abundance in your direction.You've heard the Latin phrase, 'carpe diem.' It means 'seize the day.' Grab the opportunity; don't let it pass you by. You must live your life to the fullest, make each day count, and maximize the quality of your life. Remember, this is not a dress rehearsal; this is real life.
----------------------------------------------------
Joe Searle is an internet marketing expert and affiliate of the Six Figure Mentors training programme. Online for a year and a half now, he has helped many create their digital lifestyle, could you be next? For more information visit: http://joeptsearle.yourmarketingsystem.net/blog/
Sunday, September 27, 2015
How To Think Like The 1%
If you want success, in anything in life, you have to think like the 1%, but what does that even mean?
Well let's look at the percentages of people who don't ever achieve their goals in life, these are people who go through the days with no real direction, they let the day run them, rather than the other way around. As a business owner you can't afford to do that and if you already run your own offline business then you will understand exactly what I am saying, you need to be proactive in all of your efforts every day, every action has a reaction and you need to ensure that every action you take, is getting you closer to your goal. Many people in the rat race simply live life pay check to pay check, day by day living for the weekend, the 1% realize that there is something they are working for which is beyond themselves, they have a burning desire and that carries them forward every single day.
Choose your mindset
You are the one who has control of your attitude and your emotions, so you have the ability to choose the mind-set you adopt and the words you choose as well. For example you have the ability to take out any negative words from your vocabulary which in turn massively improves your attitude. In business, it is all about the attitude you have developed towards hard work, slip ups and unforeseen events and how you take them.
Be pigheadedly determined
You must have pig-headed determination in any endeavour to be truly successful, it is no different in business. You need to be so determined that nothing else matters, you see the goal, you work for it and let nothing stop you. When things crop up that make life difficult, you need to think outside the box for solutions and new ideas, business needs innovation and the determination of an individual will breed innovation to get around any stumbling blocks, don't try to get over them or through them, just go around them.
Build Strong relationships
Good relationships are part of the foundations of a successful business, relationships with the clients, relationships with staff etc. You should take the time to build these carefully and on trust, when people fully trust you, they will help you in your journey and if they are potential customers they will buy from you! Entrepreneurs are adept at growing these relationships over time and making them last in the long run, you should strive to do the same thing.
Know your businesses health metrics
You need to understand exactly what makes your business function effectively, for example running an internet business requires me to create great content, provide excellent service and value and to be as personal as I can be. With the internet being a very impersonal experience for someone buying services or products, it pays to put that personal touch into your business to gain that trust. These 3 core aspects ensure that my business runs efficiently and effectively. You will need to know exactly the same thing or you are going to sink and fast.
So these are some of keys to thinking like the 1% and making a difference in the world, if you have any other suggestions its always great to hear!
----------------------------------------------------
Joe Searle is an internet marketing expert and affiliate of the Six Figure Mentors training programme. Online for a year and a half now, he has helped many create their digital lifestyle, could you be next? For more information visit: http://joeptsearle.yourmarketingsystem.net/blog/
Well let's look at the percentages of people who don't ever achieve their goals in life, these are people who go through the days with no real direction, they let the day run them, rather than the other way around. As a business owner you can't afford to do that and if you already run your own offline business then you will understand exactly what I am saying, you need to be proactive in all of your efforts every day, every action has a reaction and you need to ensure that every action you take, is getting you closer to your goal. Many people in the rat race simply live life pay check to pay check, day by day living for the weekend, the 1% realize that there is something they are working for which is beyond themselves, they have a burning desire and that carries them forward every single day.
Choose your mindset
You are the one who has control of your attitude and your emotions, so you have the ability to choose the mind-set you adopt and the words you choose as well. For example you have the ability to take out any negative words from your vocabulary which in turn massively improves your attitude. In business, it is all about the attitude you have developed towards hard work, slip ups and unforeseen events and how you take them.
Be pigheadedly determined
You must have pig-headed determination in any endeavour to be truly successful, it is no different in business. You need to be so determined that nothing else matters, you see the goal, you work for it and let nothing stop you. When things crop up that make life difficult, you need to think outside the box for solutions and new ideas, business needs innovation and the determination of an individual will breed innovation to get around any stumbling blocks, don't try to get over them or through them, just go around them.
Build Strong relationships
Good relationships are part of the foundations of a successful business, relationships with the clients, relationships with staff etc. You should take the time to build these carefully and on trust, when people fully trust you, they will help you in your journey and if they are potential customers they will buy from you! Entrepreneurs are adept at growing these relationships over time and making them last in the long run, you should strive to do the same thing.
Know your businesses health metrics
You need to understand exactly what makes your business function effectively, for example running an internet business requires me to create great content, provide excellent service and value and to be as personal as I can be. With the internet being a very impersonal experience for someone buying services or products, it pays to put that personal touch into your business to gain that trust. These 3 core aspects ensure that my business runs efficiently and effectively. You will need to know exactly the same thing or you are going to sink and fast.
So these are some of keys to thinking like the 1% and making a difference in the world, if you have any other suggestions its always great to hear!
----------------------------------------------------
Joe Searle is an internet marketing expert and affiliate of the Six Figure Mentors training programme. Online for a year and a half now, he has helped many create their digital lifestyle, could you be next? For more information visit: http://joeptsearle.yourmarketingsystem.net/blog/
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Ways To Increase Motivation
What pulls you, drives you, pushes you?
It might seem like the people around us are very polarized -- some people want to make a difference to the environment, while others want to retire at 50 -- but research shows that humans are actually much more complex and multifaceted than this.
It isn't just one thing that motivates and allows us to make that motivation breakthrough, but many things all at once. Researchers have narrowed down the many motivators to a few distinct categories. If you want to get to that motivation place within, then here are a few pointers that will aid in your self help motivation.
Goal Setting
Setting goals can improve motivation and get you moving. But when setting goals make sure they feel achievable, realistic, and that they really do motivate you. Improving your average sale at work may not push your buttons, though it looks good on a resume -- so what does push your buttons? Saving up for a holiday to Fiji? Taking art classes at night?
These sorts of goals might inspire you to push your average sale up, for example, more than just focusing on improving your work performance.
Goals should feel exciting. They are tied in with your dreams you have for your future. If, however, you find that your goal setting is too daunting or feels to difficult, you may have overreached what you feel is capable and achievable. Instead of writing a novel, maybe just start with a short story.
Then work your way up to 5 stories. Once you have completed 10 stories, even if it takes a whole year, writing a novel may not freak you out. It will probably feel more achievable by then.
Understanding Your Drives
According to a study published by the Incentive Research Foundation in 2011, there are four basic drives that determine human motivation: acquiring, comprehending, bonding and defending.
Acquiring is about the tangible benefits we can gain e.g. money, skills, training, promotions, respect, etc.
Comprehending has to do with doing something we feel is meaningful, such as working with complex ideas, creativity, or participating in a job that makes a difference to the world. Bonding all about friendship, camaraderie, and social connection.
Defending takes into account issues around fairness and justice -- we are more motivated to work with and for people who treat us (and others) well, than those who treat us (and others) unfairly.
While some people may feel they lean more towards one drive than another, the studies show humans actually need a balance of all four areas. Failing in one area can negatively impact how we feel about all other areas. When you achieve a holistic balance of all four drives, you naturally access that motivation place within, make that motivation breakthrough, and become highly motivated.
Teaming Up
Setting goals, chanting affirmations, working on projects -- it all helps, but sometimes you just need a bit more external support.
Some of us thrive from working alone, the triumph is all the more great once you reach the finish line all by yourself. But some of us are team players. Support, camaraderie, creative collaboration -- working with others brings a lot to our lives and the things we are trying so desperately to achieve.
If you are not sure what you prefer, just try it. Invite someone to collaborate on a project, partner up with some like-minded colleagues, or join a group. Not only does this sort of networking provide you wish fresh perspectives and ideas, it also provides accountability. Tell people about your goals and projects.
It can really motivate you to know that someone supports your dreams, and is cheering you on.
Conserving Energy
Increasing motivation is hard when you are tired. Often people are hard-working and dedicated to their goals. But dedication can lead to fatigue, if you don't pace yourself and self-manage your energy output. Even when you love what you do, even when you feel happy and excited, the mind and body need to rest.
Being "on" all the time, or worse, experiencing chronic stress, can lead to fatigue and exhaustion that feels as if it leeches into every part of life. At this point, you need to be realistic. It is hard to be motivated if you have pushed your system too hard.
To increase your motivation, the best thing you can do is take time out and re-fuel. Take a break from your goals, take a break even from your career or job, just for a little while, if it is possible.
People who care about you always want to help out. Ask those around you to share the load, so you can get away for a while. Ask yourself how long -- you know the answer. One weekend? A week? A month?
Soon as you get the rest you need, being motivated and enthusiastic about your goals becomes a whole lot easier.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a British counselor and hypno-psychotherapist with clinics in London and Birmingham. He is Fellow of the Royal Society of Health and Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Therapy info is available at: http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk Peter's 'Motivate Yourself Now!' self hypnosis download and CD is now available at http://www.hypnosiscdmp3downloads.com
It might seem like the people around us are very polarized -- some people want to make a difference to the environment, while others want to retire at 50 -- but research shows that humans are actually much more complex and multifaceted than this.
It isn't just one thing that motivates and allows us to make that motivation breakthrough, but many things all at once. Researchers have narrowed down the many motivators to a few distinct categories. If you want to get to that motivation place within, then here are a few pointers that will aid in your self help motivation.
Goal Setting
Setting goals can improve motivation and get you moving. But when setting goals make sure they feel achievable, realistic, and that they really do motivate you. Improving your average sale at work may not push your buttons, though it looks good on a resume -- so what does push your buttons? Saving up for a holiday to Fiji? Taking art classes at night?
These sorts of goals might inspire you to push your average sale up, for example, more than just focusing on improving your work performance.
Goals should feel exciting. They are tied in with your dreams you have for your future. If, however, you find that your goal setting is too daunting or feels to difficult, you may have overreached what you feel is capable and achievable. Instead of writing a novel, maybe just start with a short story.
Then work your way up to 5 stories. Once you have completed 10 stories, even if it takes a whole year, writing a novel may not freak you out. It will probably feel more achievable by then.
Understanding Your Drives
According to a study published by the Incentive Research Foundation in 2011, there are four basic drives that determine human motivation: acquiring, comprehending, bonding and defending.
Acquiring is about the tangible benefits we can gain e.g. money, skills, training, promotions, respect, etc.
Comprehending has to do with doing something we feel is meaningful, such as working with complex ideas, creativity, or participating in a job that makes a difference to the world. Bonding all about friendship, camaraderie, and social connection.
Defending takes into account issues around fairness and justice -- we are more motivated to work with and for people who treat us (and others) well, than those who treat us (and others) unfairly.
While some people may feel they lean more towards one drive than another, the studies show humans actually need a balance of all four areas. Failing in one area can negatively impact how we feel about all other areas. When you achieve a holistic balance of all four drives, you naturally access that motivation place within, make that motivation breakthrough, and become highly motivated.
Teaming Up
Setting goals, chanting affirmations, working on projects -- it all helps, but sometimes you just need a bit more external support.
Some of us thrive from working alone, the triumph is all the more great once you reach the finish line all by yourself. But some of us are team players. Support, camaraderie, creative collaboration -- working with others brings a lot to our lives and the things we are trying so desperately to achieve.
If you are not sure what you prefer, just try it. Invite someone to collaborate on a project, partner up with some like-minded colleagues, or join a group. Not only does this sort of networking provide you wish fresh perspectives and ideas, it also provides accountability. Tell people about your goals and projects.
It can really motivate you to know that someone supports your dreams, and is cheering you on.
Conserving Energy
Increasing motivation is hard when you are tired. Often people are hard-working and dedicated to their goals. But dedication can lead to fatigue, if you don't pace yourself and self-manage your energy output. Even when you love what you do, even when you feel happy and excited, the mind and body need to rest.
Being "on" all the time, or worse, experiencing chronic stress, can lead to fatigue and exhaustion that feels as if it leeches into every part of life. At this point, you need to be realistic. It is hard to be motivated if you have pushed your system too hard.
To increase your motivation, the best thing you can do is take time out and re-fuel. Take a break from your goals, take a break even from your career or job, just for a little while, if it is possible.
People who care about you always want to help out. Ask those around you to share the load, so you can get away for a while. Ask yourself how long -- you know the answer. One weekend? A week? A month?
Soon as you get the rest you need, being motivated and enthusiastic about your goals becomes a whole lot easier.
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Peter Field is a British counselor and hypno-psychotherapist with clinics in London and Birmingham. He is Fellow of the Royal Society of Health and Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Therapy info is available at: http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk Peter's 'Motivate Yourself Now!' self hypnosis download and CD is now available at http://www.hypnosiscdmp3downloads.com
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