While for many, self-esteem issues are a transitional part of growing into an adult and finding a place in the world, scientific research studies show that people with continued low self-esteem are also more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, poor physical health, and even a lower income later on in life.
Those with long lasting issues of low self-esteem know only too well that it is not something you grow out of, but something that sits in the subconscious mind and continues to effect every part of life for years. How then can we enhance self esteem.
Here are five ways that you can do just that.
1. Model Confident People
Noticing what confident people do, how they speak, the ways they behave, can provide vital clues to finding self-esteem inside yourself. Who is the most confident person you can think of? When you have them firmly in your mind, ask yourself these questions: how do they hold their shoulders? How do they stand? How do they walk? What clothes do they wear? How do they behave when with other people? What sort of things do you imagine they say about themselves? And if they were in your situation, what would they do?
This questioning goes far beyond "fake it till you make it" - it links us into the answers already inside us. Once you have a list of what that confident person would do, go ahead and model this behaviour. Try it on for a few hours, a day, even a few days. Notice how everything you do, and the events around you, begin to change on their own.
2. Advertise Yourself
When you have to convince someone else about your strengths, it can have a fantastic effect on your self-esteem. Sitting down and really thinking about all your skills, gifts and talents is a wonderful reminder of all the good things about being you. Try writing an advertisement selling yourself as the perfect partner, house mate, friend, etc, with a full description of why anyone would be lucky to have you around. Don't be afraid to blow your own trumpet. This isn't an exercise in modesty, but in self-esteem.
3. Work On Your Resume.
Resumes are all about convincing someone to hire your time and your expertise. Giving your resume a regular update can also give your self-esteem a great boost. Alternatively, update your Facebook profile. Strange as it sounds, there is now research from Cornell University in New York to prove that people who view their Facebook profiles more regularly have better self-esteem. You get to go back and view your clever status updates, your significant dates and events, and photos of good times.
4. Say Positive Things About Yourself
Saying positive things about yourself, to yourself or others, is important. What we say about ourselves reveals a lot about our level of self-esteem. When we rehearse only what we do wrong, or don't like about ourselves, our brain builds neural pathways for these conversations, till eventually negative self-talk is practically automatic.
If you are not used to talking about yourself in a positive way, you will simply have to learn how. Keep practicing, choose a few nice things to say or think about yourself and use them as a mantra every day. It can be something you are proud of about yourself, or positive things you remember others saying about you in the past.
The more you repeat this, the easier the behaviour will become as your nervous system will build more neural connections to this positive self-talk, and less to the negative self-talk.
5. Is It You, Or Is It Them?
The people who surround us, at home, at school, at work, or in social settings, can have a huge impact on our self-esteem. Either they will support us, making us feel better about ourselves, or their negativity will bring us down emotionally. This may not be intentional. Some people just seem to notice what's wrong more than on what's right.
If you find there are people in your life who make you feel bad about yourself, you need to make a decision. Can you counteract the effect they are having with you? Or do you need to do some prunning?
Do you really need to be around people who make you feel bad about yourself? Choose to associate with positive people that make you feel alive, happy, and optimistic about life.
Deciding to spend less time with people isn't about making anyone else 'wrong' or 'bad' -- it has to do with making clear decisions about how you want to feel, and asserting your right to feel good instead of bad.
Use these strategies on a regular basis and you really will boost your self-esteem -- and increase your self-confidence.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and Fellow of the Royal Society of Health. His hypnotherapy Birmingham practice provides West Midlands and Birmingham Hypnotherapy services. Please visit his website for more information: http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk Peter's self hypnosis MP3 downloads are now availabe at http://www.hypnosiscdmp3downloads.com
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Advantages Of Getting Help From A Love Coach
Copyright (c) 2015 Robert Kirby
"A love coach? I've heard of a life coach or a therapist, but I don't see why I personally need someone to dictate my love life."
It is normal to be skeptical of something you have not experienced before. The only way to get rid of your doubts on healers is to experience healing for yourself.
You may have wondered why love coaches exist. It's because problematic love lives - or a lack of a love life itself - exist. It is these people who will help you be better at handling yourself, your partner, and your relationship. You may have had a relationship that was full of twists and turns at one point in your life--it may already be happening to you now. Sometimes people think it is better to walk away from such relationships and find someone else. What these people don't know is that relationships can be fixed; it doesn't have to end so quickly and easily.
While others may get through relationship situations unscathed and unaffected, there are those who may need that little push to move on with their life. With that in mind, here are some advantages of seeking help from a love coach.
A love coach teaches you about hope. Whatever challenge you are in, with or without a partner, keep in mind that there is always hope that you (and your partner) can get through it. Sometimes couples or individuals lose their way and believe that their relationship is going nowhere but downhill, especially when they have been together for so long. A love coach will help remind you about all the good things about your relationship, and why you started it in the first place, and then guide you into recapturing that desire and passion to breathe life to your relationship again.
A love coach empowers you to not just become hopeful, but also to be a better person your partner or future partner deserves, and vice versa. Every single day, you are moved by everything around you, you show it to your partner, and you become more and more aware of all the good things in life, and focus on that for you and your partner.
A love coach helps you understand yourself and your partner. It is by understanding yourself, and embracing who you are, that you will love yourself. And that will result in confidence, self-esteem, self-love, respect, and empathy--just some of the traits that make a person become attractive to another.
A love coach also shows you why it is important to celebrate the love you have or going to have. Because love is such a beautiful and precious gift to give, have, and/or be given, it is only right that you recognize and appreciate its presence and the people you love. If you have no partner yet, a love coach shows you how to share this happiness to the person you care about.
These are just some of the many things you will learn from a professional love coach. Aside from individual sessions, a love coach may also offer workshops and courses. Whether you are attending a workshop alone or with your partner, you can be sure that you will come out a better and more enlightened loving individual.
----------------------------------------------------
Having relationship problems? Let love coach and healer at Robert Kirby Heart Centred Living help you become a better person to your partner and yourself. Discover how you can open your heart to the many possibilities that love has to offer at https://www.robertkirby.com.
"A love coach? I've heard of a life coach or a therapist, but I don't see why I personally need someone to dictate my love life."
It is normal to be skeptical of something you have not experienced before. The only way to get rid of your doubts on healers is to experience healing for yourself.
You may have wondered why love coaches exist. It's because problematic love lives - or a lack of a love life itself - exist. It is these people who will help you be better at handling yourself, your partner, and your relationship. You may have had a relationship that was full of twists and turns at one point in your life--it may already be happening to you now. Sometimes people think it is better to walk away from such relationships and find someone else. What these people don't know is that relationships can be fixed; it doesn't have to end so quickly and easily.
While others may get through relationship situations unscathed and unaffected, there are those who may need that little push to move on with their life. With that in mind, here are some advantages of seeking help from a love coach.
A love coach teaches you about hope. Whatever challenge you are in, with or without a partner, keep in mind that there is always hope that you (and your partner) can get through it. Sometimes couples or individuals lose their way and believe that their relationship is going nowhere but downhill, especially when they have been together for so long. A love coach will help remind you about all the good things about your relationship, and why you started it in the first place, and then guide you into recapturing that desire and passion to breathe life to your relationship again.
A love coach empowers you to not just become hopeful, but also to be a better person your partner or future partner deserves, and vice versa. Every single day, you are moved by everything around you, you show it to your partner, and you become more and more aware of all the good things in life, and focus on that for you and your partner.
A love coach helps you understand yourself and your partner. It is by understanding yourself, and embracing who you are, that you will love yourself. And that will result in confidence, self-esteem, self-love, respect, and empathy--just some of the traits that make a person become attractive to another.
A love coach also shows you why it is important to celebrate the love you have or going to have. Because love is such a beautiful and precious gift to give, have, and/or be given, it is only right that you recognize and appreciate its presence and the people you love. If you have no partner yet, a love coach shows you how to share this happiness to the person you care about.
These are just some of the many things you will learn from a professional love coach. Aside from individual sessions, a love coach may also offer workshops and courses. Whether you are attending a workshop alone or with your partner, you can be sure that you will come out a better and more enlightened loving individual.
----------------------------------------------------
Having relationship problems? Let love coach and healer at Robert Kirby Heart Centred Living help you become a better person to your partner and yourself. Discover how you can open your heart to the many possibilities that love has to offer at https://www.robertkirby.com.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
How To Get Over Nervousness When Public Speaking
Few things can trigger complete blinding panic like public speaking.
So many of us would prefer to bungy jump off a sky scraper than get up in front of a group of people and deliver a 15 minute presentation. Altering how you perceive public speaking and how you go about it, can turn a dreaded experience into a joyful one.
One of the first things to consider is ditching the script.
When public speaking, it is good to have a list of bullet points prepared so you know the various points you need to communicate. When you are reading a pre-written script to a crowd of people, there is more opportunity to notice how you are feeling on the inside, and to allow this to negatively influence you. Also, most people respond better to a spontaneous, conversational style of delivery, rather than something that sounds premeditated and repeated parrot-style.
Get your bullet points ready, and then go about communicating those points however you like. You will become more absorbed in what you are saying, and less so in how nervous you feel.
Causes of Public Speaking Anxiety
Often, speaking anxiety is connected to events from childhood. Embarrassing experiences involving having to perform in front of our family or our class while in school, for example, can cause discomfort around public speaking for decades.
When we are children and adolescents we want nothing more than to be accepted and to fit in. Standing alone in front of a crowd of peers and feeling judged can be an awful experience. If it doesn't go well, the memory of that negative event may be triggered later, on a subconscious level, bringing with it those same difficult feelings.
Sometimes recognizing and giving validation to those memories is enough to sever and shift the connection from your modern-day public speaking fears. If past experiences still continue to haunt, working with an experienced hypnotherapist can aid in rewriting the script and help you move forward with conficence.
Expectations of Yourself
The very best advice, when it comes to speaking in public is: Just be yourself. Don't try to be a "public speaker" or a "presenter" or a "lecturer". Use any notes you have prepared, but be willing to let go and deviate. Tell stories. Above all, be prepared to have fun. If you're enjoying yourself, chances are you audience will, too.
Let your natural personality flow, and remind yourself that YOU are not the subject of your public speaking. Once you stop trying to be something you are not, public speaking really can be a liberating, freeing experience.
Breathing
Breathing properly helps to reduce tension and calm nerves, but improper breathing can enhance feelings of anxiety. When we are nervous, we tend to hurry through whatever we are saying, and this interupts our natural breathing pattern, all to easily making us gasp for air. So breathe deeply and slowly, speaking as you exhale. Be sure to pause often -- and remember it's almost impossible to speak too slowly.
Follow these few tips and you might even find yourself enjoying speaking in front of others.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a British counselor and hypno-psychotherapist with busy clinics in London and Birmingham. He is Fellow of the Royal Society of Health, Member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, and Member of the National Guild of Hypnotists. For 1-2-1 sessions please visit http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk
So many of us would prefer to bungy jump off a sky scraper than get up in front of a group of people and deliver a 15 minute presentation. Altering how you perceive public speaking and how you go about it, can turn a dreaded experience into a joyful one.
One of the first things to consider is ditching the script.
When public speaking, it is good to have a list of bullet points prepared so you know the various points you need to communicate. When you are reading a pre-written script to a crowd of people, there is more opportunity to notice how you are feeling on the inside, and to allow this to negatively influence you. Also, most people respond better to a spontaneous, conversational style of delivery, rather than something that sounds premeditated and repeated parrot-style.
Get your bullet points ready, and then go about communicating those points however you like. You will become more absorbed in what you are saying, and less so in how nervous you feel.
Causes of Public Speaking Anxiety
Often, speaking anxiety is connected to events from childhood. Embarrassing experiences involving having to perform in front of our family or our class while in school, for example, can cause discomfort around public speaking for decades.
When we are children and adolescents we want nothing more than to be accepted and to fit in. Standing alone in front of a crowd of peers and feeling judged can be an awful experience. If it doesn't go well, the memory of that negative event may be triggered later, on a subconscious level, bringing with it those same difficult feelings.
Sometimes recognizing and giving validation to those memories is enough to sever and shift the connection from your modern-day public speaking fears. If past experiences still continue to haunt, working with an experienced hypnotherapist can aid in rewriting the script and help you move forward with conficence.
Expectations of Yourself
The very best advice, when it comes to speaking in public is: Just be yourself. Don't try to be a "public speaker" or a "presenter" or a "lecturer". Use any notes you have prepared, but be willing to let go and deviate. Tell stories. Above all, be prepared to have fun. If you're enjoying yourself, chances are you audience will, too.
Let your natural personality flow, and remind yourself that YOU are not the subject of your public speaking. Once you stop trying to be something you are not, public speaking really can be a liberating, freeing experience.
Breathing
Breathing properly helps to reduce tension and calm nerves, but improper breathing can enhance feelings of anxiety. When we are nervous, we tend to hurry through whatever we are saying, and this interupts our natural breathing pattern, all to easily making us gasp for air. So breathe deeply and slowly, speaking as you exhale. Be sure to pause often -- and remember it's almost impossible to speak too slowly.
Follow these few tips and you might even find yourself enjoying speaking in front of others.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a British counselor and hypno-psychotherapist with busy clinics in London and Birmingham. He is Fellow of the Royal Society of Health, Member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, and Member of the National Guild of Hypnotists. For 1-2-1 sessions please visit http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Overcoming Procrastination: Crucial Guidance
In the current fast-paced world, many people struggle with meeting their personal or professional objectives. They are told to return to the drawing board and develop timetables. However, what people forget to realize is that no matter how complex the timetable is, if they do not have the will to adhere to it, then it serves no purpose. Those who suffer from procrastination may keep even the most gifted of individuals from getting goals.
Even though it's much easier to identify than solve this challenge, you can conquer it by setting easy routines for slow, constant progress. This article offers advice on helping you get over procrastination. Read on and learn how to overcome procrastination and the way to make the most of your time.
Arranging to do your tasks from the most important to the least important is one of the surefire ways to kill procrastination. While you ultimately want to accomplish all of the tasks on this list, there are going to be some that are more time sensitive or important than others. If you pile similar jobs together, you will end up spending less time when compared with when you do them individually. In addition, you should also attack your checklist by starting with items that are interrelated.
When you undertake similar tasks together, you end up spending less time than you could have undertaken if you did the tasks aimlessly. The other thing that you should consider is the time. Should you do similar tasks after each other, you'll find them easier and more convenient to finish which also helps you to overcome procrastination.
Consider how much time you have to complete everything. This will help you know if you can complete all the work, and the time that you need to assign to every task The reason many people end up procrastinating is the fact that they overestimate the time they have to conduct a particular task. In the same vein, you should allocate time to each and every activity, know the time available and then where to start.
Finally, you need to continually remind yourself that there is work for you to do. This cushions you from establishing overambitious schedules that you are unable to keep. In the event that you haven't estimated the time correctly, then rapidly look over your list and readjust your schedule to fit what you can inside the remaining time.
Finally, make use of the multiple reminders available such as alarms to track your progress and get away from any backsliding into procrastination again so that you figure out <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNR96ZCU9zc">how to get motivated</a> more easily. With so many electronic gadgets on the market now, it should be quite easy to evaluate how you're progressing from time to time. This will help you to increase your pace or even readjust your routine in order to make the most out of the rest of the time.
What defines most procrastinators is the fact they always quit every time they sense failure. This doesn't mean you are a failure. As an example, if your plans entailed going to the bank, finishing up with a novel you were reading and then performing laundry, you may run out of time before you fit everything in.
Your success is not defined by your ability to perform everything perfectly. It is simply your ability to accomplish much using the time and means accessible to you.
Even though it's much easier to identify than solve this challenge, you can conquer it by setting easy routines for slow, constant progress. This article offers advice on helping you get over procrastination. Read on and learn how to overcome procrastination and the way to make the most of your time.
Arranging to do your tasks from the most important to the least important is one of the surefire ways to kill procrastination. While you ultimately want to accomplish all of the tasks on this list, there are going to be some that are more time sensitive or important than others. If you pile similar jobs together, you will end up spending less time when compared with when you do them individually. In addition, you should also attack your checklist by starting with items that are interrelated.
When you undertake similar tasks together, you end up spending less time than you could have undertaken if you did the tasks aimlessly. The other thing that you should consider is the time. Should you do similar tasks after each other, you'll find them easier and more convenient to finish which also helps you to overcome procrastination.
Consider how much time you have to complete everything. This will help you know if you can complete all the work, and the time that you need to assign to every task The reason many people end up procrastinating is the fact that they overestimate the time they have to conduct a particular task. In the same vein, you should allocate time to each and every activity, know the time available and then where to start.
Finally, you need to continually remind yourself that there is work for you to do. This cushions you from establishing overambitious schedules that you are unable to keep. In the event that you haven't estimated the time correctly, then rapidly look over your list and readjust your schedule to fit what you can inside the remaining time.
Finally, make use of the multiple reminders available such as alarms to track your progress and get away from any backsliding into procrastination again so that you figure out <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNR96ZCU9zc">how to get motivated</a> more easily. With so many electronic gadgets on the market now, it should be quite easy to evaluate how you're progressing from time to time. This will help you to increase your pace or even readjust your routine in order to make the most out of the rest of the time.
What defines most procrastinators is the fact they always quit every time they sense failure. This doesn't mean you are a failure. As an example, if your plans entailed going to the bank, finishing up with a novel you were reading and then performing laundry, you may run out of time before you fit everything in.
Your success is not defined by your ability to perform everything perfectly. It is simply your ability to accomplish much using the time and means accessible to you.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Moving forward - Separation Survival 101
So, you've separated. The relationship has ended. Now what? How does an individual move forward in a healthy way? Separations are surely not easy, no matter what the circumstances, but you can find ways to reduce your suffering.
-- Allow yourself time to grieve.
No matter how committed you may be to moving forward, you have to give yourself time to mourn the relationship. Whether you were the one who left or your partner was, breakups are nearly always painful. Adjustments must be made as well as feelings dealt with, and this naturally usually takes time.
Sometimes people make the mistake of attempting to bury their difficult feelings, but by doing this they are trying to circumvent the healing process as a whole. Indeed no one likes to feel miserable. We naturally want to feel better as fast as possible. However, the best way to feel better is usually to face your feelings directly.
Allow yourself to feel hurt, miserable, upset, puzzled, and many other emotions that so frequently come with breakups. When you allow yourself to feel these things now, you're less likely to see those feelings resurface later on when you are least expecting it.
-- Form some sort of help network
You've gone from sharing a regular part of your life with somebody else to being single yet again. For lots of people, this is probably the hardest of transitions. Maybe you feel alone, but in all probability you're surely not. Now may well be the time to get in touch with your good friends and loved ones for help. Phone them when you really need someone to talk to. Invite some over when you need to have a good laugh, weep, get your mind off these things, get out of the house, vent, and do any other activity you need to do.
-- Get out and about
Just as much as you might want to shut the whole world and everyone in it out from time to time, you have to get out of the house and be social as well. Go out with family, some of your close friends and others from your trusted support circle.
In the event you really don't have such a circle, then now is the time to work towards getting one.
Get involved in some new hobbies or activities and also meet some new people. Instead of looking at the separation being a entire loss, try looking at it from a different view. You have been given the opportunity at this point to dedicate time to other things, making new friends, acquiring new knowledge, developing newpastimes and focusing on yourself.
-- Move things around
You're starting a new chapter in your life, and a good way to remind yourself of this is by rearranging your surroundings. Change the position of a chair, your bed, a table. Move a photo or hang a new one. Create these types of changes to your home and things may really feel different in a better, newer way.
-- Give back
You may be going through a particularly rough time right now, but why don't you put things in perspective a bit, do some volunteer work, or have a go at a charity. It feels great to do things for others, particularly those who're really in need.
Think about what sort of activities you can get involved in. If you like animals, you may volunteer at an animal shelter. If you're someone of faith, you can get involved in charity work done by your place of worship. There's an array of different choices, but you need to select something which is meaningful to you yourself. You will feel wonderful after assisting, AND it will help you to place your loss into perspective.
Above all, give yourself time to make the adjustments necessary, time to process your emotions, and time to heal. No need to be harsh with yourself and you'll find yourself moving forward right into a happier day.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psycholtherapy, and a Fellow of the Royal Society of Health. His Birmingham hypnotherapy practice provides hypnosis services in London and throughout the West Midlands. For more information please visit his hypnotherapy website at http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk His book 'The Chi of Change' explores the fascinating world of hypnotherapy http://www.chiofchange.com
-- Allow yourself time to grieve.
No matter how committed you may be to moving forward, you have to give yourself time to mourn the relationship. Whether you were the one who left or your partner was, breakups are nearly always painful. Adjustments must be made as well as feelings dealt with, and this naturally usually takes time.
Sometimes people make the mistake of attempting to bury their difficult feelings, but by doing this they are trying to circumvent the healing process as a whole. Indeed no one likes to feel miserable. We naturally want to feel better as fast as possible. However, the best way to feel better is usually to face your feelings directly.
Allow yourself to feel hurt, miserable, upset, puzzled, and many other emotions that so frequently come with breakups. When you allow yourself to feel these things now, you're less likely to see those feelings resurface later on when you are least expecting it.
-- Form some sort of help network
You've gone from sharing a regular part of your life with somebody else to being single yet again. For lots of people, this is probably the hardest of transitions. Maybe you feel alone, but in all probability you're surely not. Now may well be the time to get in touch with your good friends and loved ones for help. Phone them when you really need someone to talk to. Invite some over when you need to have a good laugh, weep, get your mind off these things, get out of the house, vent, and do any other activity you need to do.
-- Get out and about
Just as much as you might want to shut the whole world and everyone in it out from time to time, you have to get out of the house and be social as well. Go out with family, some of your close friends and others from your trusted support circle.
In the event you really don't have such a circle, then now is the time to work towards getting one.
Get involved in some new hobbies or activities and also meet some new people. Instead of looking at the separation being a entire loss, try looking at it from a different view. You have been given the opportunity at this point to dedicate time to other things, making new friends, acquiring new knowledge, developing newpastimes and focusing on yourself.
-- Move things around
You're starting a new chapter in your life, and a good way to remind yourself of this is by rearranging your surroundings. Change the position of a chair, your bed, a table. Move a photo or hang a new one. Create these types of changes to your home and things may really feel different in a better, newer way.
-- Give back
You may be going through a particularly rough time right now, but why don't you put things in perspective a bit, do some volunteer work, or have a go at a charity. It feels great to do things for others, particularly those who're really in need.
Think about what sort of activities you can get involved in. If you like animals, you may volunteer at an animal shelter. If you're someone of faith, you can get involved in charity work done by your place of worship. There's an array of different choices, but you need to select something which is meaningful to you yourself. You will feel wonderful after assisting, AND it will help you to place your loss into perspective.
Above all, give yourself time to make the adjustments necessary, time to process your emotions, and time to heal. No need to be harsh with yourself and you'll find yourself moving forward right into a happier day.
----------------------------------------------------
Peter Field is a Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psycholtherapy, and a Fellow of the Royal Society of Health. His Birmingham hypnotherapy practice provides hypnosis services in London and throughout the West Midlands. For more information please visit his hypnotherapy website at http://www.peterfieldhypnotherapy.co.uk His book 'The Chi of Change' explores the fascinating world of hypnotherapy http://www.chiofchange.com
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